Dee74

I can see your blog Layali and no it's not on private now

D

helpimalive

Okay but, someone please tell me how to live the rest of my life without ever having another 1-woman beer and horror movie party?

I'm fixated on this idea and I'm starting to feel like it's inevitable that I'll have another one soon. I've been thinking of it on and off since the blood moon but it's very strong tonight, I can't make it stop. This is always the reason I drink again after I quit: I decide it will be fine if I do, I decide I'm under control now. No external trigger has ever bested me. I best me.

It's so funny. That very thought, that I'm in control now, is clearly out of control. This is insane but it's totally how my mind is working right now. I really used to love 1-woman beer and horror movie parties.

grizzlybearblue

It's not inevitable! It's up to you. I think it's dangerous the longer you entertain the thought of it. Substitute Shirley temples for the beer. Or whatever your favorite nonalcoholic drink is. Sonic has like a thousand different combinations, I'm sure you could find something you like there. When I'm drinking and trying to do a movie marathon, I always fall asleep too early. Then there's the hangover the next day, I'm good for nothing, and I take the movies back having not watched them and wasted my money. No good. Try it sober, you might like it!

grizzlybearblue

Congrats on day 5!! Busy bee : )
This time around feels different for me too, and I also wonder if something has clicked that wasn't making the connection before. I know I want it more than I ever have! Let's go with it while we got it!!!

Time2Rise

Count me in for the weekend

Jillybean31

HI everyone- Been a long day working today.
Enjoy reading everyone's posts and they really help me to stay strong.
Day 12 today!
I am going out to dinner with my girlfriends on saturday and I keep thinking I just want one glass of red wine. I want so much to not want that glass of red wine.
Just going to think about today. UUUUUUUUgh

Dee74

Jilly this holiday survival guide I posted in another thread has lots of tips for all social occasions.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html

The bottom line is tho - if you don't feel confident, maybe it's not time yet to be around drinkers?

D

Dee74

It's your inner addict using your fear.

First off I bet the aftermath to those one woman beer and horror movie parties was never pretty...but leaving that to one side...

How can you judge what sober life will be like without experiencing it?

All you have so far is a nameless fear that things will never be the same and that you'll have this sense of loss forever.

If that was true, if we felt we lost out on the deal, none of us would stay quit

I used to have beer and everything parties...beer and...playing music,. surfing the net, watching horror movies, watching old sitcoms...

I still do all those things now, sober - and I still get great enjoyment from them...and I remember every scene and everything I did that night.

The beer was never the enjoyment - it was always the side salad, not the main course - don't let your inner addict convince you otherwise

D

Layali

You're glamourising it!! That's what I did, before I drank for the last time.... drinking and netflix.... and it wasn't good....it turned out to be MONSTROUS.

Of course, I thought I could just have a few and enjoy the movie. But no. you know that that addict kicks in - once you've had some drinks, it's not enough, you get desperate....before you know it, you're drinking more and more, don't realise how drunk you're getting.......you think you're just "enjoying yourself with a few drinks"....and suddenly you're way out of it, doing stupid things....making a mess of things.....going on social media and making an a** of yourself (well that's what I do!) of course it could be worse.

And of course last time, I personally ordered food I couldn't afford and was talking to the pizza guy for a loooong time... can't remember exactly what I was saying.... then trying to cook food, almost burning myself, hey I could have burned down the house! And of course it could be worse because you could drink so much you vomit in your sleep (hey, you can die that way - or you could die by hitting your head or driving drunk or any other thing....slipping and falling....I've done that...thankfully didn't die!)

Then the next morning you have a horrible hangover and huge mess and a TON of guilt and shame and embarrassment. And frantic looking through your phone and everywhere else to see if you you called or texted or did anything super weird and/or horrible. And you probably did.

Your addict mind is tricking you into thinking that you can only have a few and it will be NICE. But we're allergic to alcohol so it doesn't actually turn out that way. Once your brain heals you'll realise that you can have such amazing movie nights with different rituals that make you just as happy (I'm sorry I know I only have several days of sobriety right now, but I have quit for longer in the past....plus, your thinking is the thinking I had.....before I drank....) my ritual is coffee ....that's one thing I can think of that makes me happy and feel good.

Anyway sorry for rambling like I always do. I'm just trying to help.....sorry if I'm not helpful.

Mentium

Good morning from the north of England. Hadrian's wall is just out of sight, the cloud has come down and I would give a lot to be spending the next few months in the tropics somewhere!

That aside I can't believe how positive I feel at four days in since my last drink and also since starting on the baclofen my consultant prescribed. I have had few withdrawal symptoms, other than a bit of tinglinesss, I have slept pretty well in the circumstances and so far I have had absolutely no desire to drink. Given I have been drinking more than a bottle and a half of wine a night (the equivalent of half a bottle of spirits it was pointed out to my horror the other day) every evening, that is a bit amazing.

My real challenge, sober or drinking is boredom - and one thing drinking does rather too well is defeat boredom in my experience. I took early retirement a few years back - a deal that was too good to refuse as they say. I have two border terriers who I walk an hour and a half plus a day, an elderly mother I take out most days, a house to keep (my partner still works), shopping to do - all of which keeps me fairly busy but..unchallenged. My job was a high pressure one, with a big budget to manage and lots of challenges.

Perhaps the key thing is to adapt rather than to try to find a way to replicate that life. I used to complain about the pressure and used it as an excuse to drink after all!

Anyway enough 'blogging' - this is going on too long. Suffice to say this is day 4 and I am doing really well. Here's hoping the same applies to my fellow Octoberites!

helpimalive

Thanks Dee, Grizzly, Layali. Your replies are great, I've screenshotted them and filed then under "when you want to drink and watch horror movies." This is an actual folder I have.

I really miss my horror movies. Everybody said, when I quit and asked about it on here, don't watch movies and tv anymore if it's triggering for you because you used to drink doing it. So I haven't.

But I kind of want to try to watch a horror movie on my own sober. Maybe then I'd know I haven't given up something I actually do really enjoy. But how do I watch a movie sober, though? How will I shut my brain down enough to pay attention? How do I let my subconscious know that it's time to relax now? Can I recapture that feeing of having a private little occasion?

I can watch stuff with my sister; that's how I've been watching the X-Files. It's like having company does what alcohol used to. But I don't want to be dependent upon company to do something I enjoy ... especially when no one I know will ever under any circumstance watch horror movies. They're scared of them. Ha. So I don't even have anybody to watch them with anyway. So I'd like to figure out a new way to watch them solo.

Sorry ... This post is too long. It's 3 am. Goodnight everybody (day 26 is over).

Soberwolf

Keep up the great work & have a good sober weekend everyone

KeyofC

Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday. Stay strong in your sobriety! May you have peace and happiness...

Juno11

Good morning - I enjoy reading up on posts I missed during the night.

TGIF - thank god it's Friday. It's been a long week for me. I'm going to spend some productive time in the office today. Two of my three kids have the day off from school which takes off the pressure a bit.

We enjoyed the movie "Goosebumps" last night. I took my two boys - my daughter ended up not coming. Nice fun movie for this time of year - Halloween and all. I prefer watching movies completely sober. When I try to drink and watch a movie or show, it gets all jumbled and I just don't understand what's going on. Same with reading. I never used to read and drink. The only thing I was good for when I drank was drunk ramblings on Facebook and picking fights with people for dumb reasons. Good riddance! There was nothing good about that.

I'm going to turn down the party invitation for Sat. night. The first reason is that there will be alcohol, and though I may not be triggered by beer, usually people provide wine as well and that's a lot more triggering. The second reason is that I really need some good quality chill out time at home. I just don't get enough during the week and the weekends are short, made even shorter if I start planning a lot of stuff. I'm excited to be taking more charge of my life. Day 6 today.

kellymh24

Hi, everyone!

So glad its Friday. 😎

I noticed a lot of conversation about people trying to do things they like but worried because the things they like are triggers for booze and what if....

Last year I made it 5 months - then went to Mexico and
Fell.
Off.
The.
Wagon.

I wish I could go back in time, man. I wish!!!!

Anyways, prior to the falling off, I waited about 2 months to do anything Social to be honest.
Then, I started meeting friends for dinners again, going out with people who were drinking, etc.
Over the next 3 months I built memories that were the same experiences I had before (with booze) but without. And eventually my mind didn't associate that sort of 'hang out' or environment with booze.
Unfortunately, my mind couldn't let go of the fact that Mexico was not something one did sober. 😩
I got so wasted the first day we were there, we drank all day, I was sick the next day and still not quite the same the day after that.
I still wish, to this day, I had not drank during that trip.
Naturally, when I got home, I fell back into my same drinking habits.

Overall, what I'm saying is, maybe don't rush into those social situations or movie nights until you've got some time under your belt sober. I know, 2 months of not doing your favorite thing, but really, how long is 2 months compared to the rest of your life? Not saying 2 months is the magic number, but just some time in general.
Be patient with your body and mind. They've been trained over years and years of drinking to think a certain way.

Have a beautiful, sober day, everyone!!!

isabelles

Hi !

I was class of August I think... managed until yesterday with some hard days but fairly ok. Yesterday I had a bad day , point final.
So went to the supermarket, bought gin and orange juice.... I drank it and now back to day 1, for the second time.
Massive hangover, and feeling tired ! serves me well . Bit angry at myself , will pass of course.
Sorry, I did not read the other pages of this thread , so I just walk in I guess

Layali

Welcome, isabelles!!

Mentium

Hi Isabelles and welcome from a fellow newcomer here, and serial 'quitter'. It is when we give up and throw the towel in that we are lost. Let's keep trying!

StrongEnough

Day 5: Constant guilt, shame, and fatalism. I've pretty much decided that I've ruined my health (which doctor's visits have started to confirm, in terrifying ways) and destroyed my life with alcohol. I know this isn't the right way to think, but it's so hard not to see it now that my eyes aren't clouded. I'm alive, I'm sober, but it's hard to see a happy and healthy future. Hope everybody else is doing better.

TurningLeaf

Hello,

May I join the class? I want SO MUCH to stay sober and I know this will help.

Thanks.