Why did it take me so long?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Yes, keep her around, Bunny. We need good friends! I can't get by without mine.
I don't know how it works, I look and seem "poster girl for the JuniorLeague" my husband said when he first met me. But then I open my mouth and scare people.
I will come out swinging for my friends or my causes, but don't take care of me. I seem calm until the red curtain goes down and I explode. Not very often nowadays.
I've just had a lot of very good therapy, maybe.
Love from Lenina
I don't know how it works, I look and seem "poster girl for the JuniorLeague" my husband said when he first met me. But then I open my mouth and scare people.
I will come out swinging for my friends or my causes, but don't take care of me. I seem calm until the red curtain goes down and I explode. Not very often nowadays.
I've just had a lot of very good therapy, maybe.
Love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Relieved to hear that I am not the only one with the do good unto others but not to myself syndrome. Not so good for others who have it, but its always feels better to know you are not alone.
Maybe we could mix a bit of Bunny with Shabs and Lenina and see what we get....
Seriously, I often wonder whether other folks have as many issues as we drunks do, or whether the drink and the other problems come together as a kind of package deal.
Maybe its a bit of both -- the kind of overly sensitive people who tend to develop addictive behaviours have more other issues, but at the same time those without addictive behaviours are not forced to take the serious look in the mirror we have been.
What do you think??
Maybe we could mix a bit of Bunny with Shabs and Lenina and see what we get....
Seriously, I often wonder whether other folks have as many issues as we drunks do, or whether the drink and the other problems come together as a kind of package deal.
Maybe its a bit of both -- the kind of overly sensitive people who tend to develop addictive behaviours have more other issues, but at the same time those without addictive behaviours are not forced to take the serious look in the mirror we have been.
What do you think??
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 172
I hate to disappoint anyone, but if you are an alcoholic thinking through it will get you no where. If you are an alcoholic, you have no control to stop or to not take the first drink for any sustained period of time without treating the underlying alcoholism on a daily basis.
Knowing the consequences won't stop you. Knowing that wife will leave if you you drink one more time won't stop you. Knowing that you have to appear in court and will go to jail if you are drunk won't stop you. Knowing you will lose your job won't stop you. Knowing you will lose your kids won't stop you.
I know many alcoholics that have known the above and still could not stop from taking that first drink because if you are an alcoholic you are powerless.
Accordingly, the poll is meaningless and a bit off base.
An alcoholic will only stop once they are beaten into a deep state of surrender, alcohol no longer works and that illusion that one can still derive even a time bit if satisfaction that comes from taking a drink without dire consequences us smashed.
Then, and only then, will an alcoholic be ready to do what ever has to be done to recover from this hopeless state if mind and body.
Knowing the consequences won't stop you. Knowing that wife will leave if you you drink one more time won't stop you. Knowing that you have to appear in court and will go to jail if you are drunk won't stop you. Knowing you will lose your job won't stop you. Knowing you will lose your kids won't stop you.
I know many alcoholics that have known the above and still could not stop from taking that first drink because if you are an alcoholic you are powerless.
Accordingly, the poll is meaningless and a bit off base.
An alcoholic will only stop once they are beaten into a deep state of surrender, alcohol no longer works and that illusion that one can still derive even a time bit if satisfaction that comes from taking a drink without dire consequences us smashed.
Then, and only then, will an alcoholic be ready to do what ever has to be done to recover from this hopeless state if mind and body.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Courage, what I love so much about you is your persistent willingness to constantly confront your nasty bits and to masticate them and marinate in them and persevere to bring them out of the dark and expose them to the grueling harsh light.
You are a beautiful soul, no matter what you may think.
And I'll slap the "friend" tag on you and wave it proudly.
You are a beautiful soul, no matter what you may think.
And I'll slap the "friend" tag on you and wave it proudly.
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Originally Posted by Dropsie 
Seriously, I often wonder whether other folks have as many issues as we drunks do, or whether the drink and the other problems come together as a kind of package deal.
Maybe its a bit of both -- the kind of overly sensitive people who tend to develop addictive behaviours have more other issues, but at the same time those without addictive behaviours are not forced to take the serious look in the mirror we have been.
What do you think??
Maybe its a bit of both -- the kind of overly sensitive people who tend to develop addictive behaviours have more other issues, but at the same time those without addictive behaviours are not forced to take the serious look in the mirror we have been.
What do you think??
Also, while I don't minimize the personal struggles with self that civilians must experience, I had a bagload of mildly traumatic experiences as a drunk -- they might have been more-than-mildly traumatic if I'd been more aware of them LOL -- and the process of admitting I was an alcoholic, admitting I had a mental health problem, uncovering those experiences, and admitting that in many ways I am and have been a total a$$hole -- well, that's been a bit traumatic as well.
I hate to hear alcoholics whine about how hard they have it, especially after all their families have to endure. But really, it isn't as easy as it looks. A non-alcoholic who knows I quit says, "hey, you don't drink anymore, so problem solved!"
No, sorry. Battlefield bandage ripped off. Problems revealed.
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
I'll be your mirror
Reflect what you are in case you don't know
I'll be the wind, the rain and the sunset
The light on your door to show that you are home.
When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you.
I find it hard to believe you don't know
The beauty you are
But if you don't, let me be your eyes
A hand to your darkness so you won't be afraid.
Reflect what you are in case you don't know
I'll be the wind, the rain and the sunset
The light on your door to show that you are home.
When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you.
I find it hard to believe you don't know
The beauty you are
But if you don't, let me be your eyes
A hand to your darkness so you won't be afraid.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMeZCPbM6bA
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
(((((Courage)))) you said that so well. Battlefield bandage ripped off. And now we have to do the life saving work and heal. I remember I once told my therapist "I don't want to come here any more, it's making me worse!" Because I would go home and cry some more. I have to say, we were defanging the dragon. So it hurt.
Love from Lenina
Love from Lenina
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