Back At It
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 6
Back At It
Hey...
I've been away for a while. That's because for a while I thought I finally had sobriety in my grasp, I decided that routine was the best route to combat my problem. I began cycling in the evening, as opposed to stopping at the store and picking up some wine or beer. I was amazed at how quickly it took. I even, for a while, completely forgot about stopping by the store as an option.
However, boredom comes with routine and after a very stressful two weeks at work I picked up a nice bottle of wine. "I deserve it" I lied to myself, skipped my workout, and am now regretting everything. When I drove the spiraled screw into the cork I had regrets and knew I shouldn't be doing what I was. "Take the night off, but don't waste it" I thought. I finished the bottle and am looking at a thirsty and headache filled Friday morning.
I already have anxiety about this being a precursor to the three day weekend ahead of me, thanks Columbus! Life's been good the past month. I've lost 10 pounds and waking up refreshed as opposed to dehydrated has been nice. Strolling into Sunday brunch, the only person not hungover from not going out the previous night has been delightful. "Oh, you're going to spend the afternoon sipping Gatorade and eating Qdoba on the couch while watching Netflix... No, I have errands to run" has been an amazing line to deliver.
Why did I screw it all up? I hate myself. I thought I blew this candle out, seems like it is self re-igniting.
I've been away for a while. That's because for a while I thought I finally had sobriety in my grasp, I decided that routine was the best route to combat my problem. I began cycling in the evening, as opposed to stopping at the store and picking up some wine or beer. I was amazed at how quickly it took. I even, for a while, completely forgot about stopping by the store as an option.
However, boredom comes with routine and after a very stressful two weeks at work I picked up a nice bottle of wine. "I deserve it" I lied to myself, skipped my workout, and am now regretting everything. When I drove the spiraled screw into the cork I had regrets and knew I shouldn't be doing what I was. "Take the night off, but don't waste it" I thought. I finished the bottle and am looking at a thirsty and headache filled Friday morning.
I already have anxiety about this being a precursor to the three day weekend ahead of me, thanks Columbus! Life's been good the past month. I've lost 10 pounds and waking up refreshed as opposed to dehydrated has been nice. Strolling into Sunday brunch, the only person not hungover from not going out the previous night has been delightful. "Oh, you're going to spend the afternoon sipping Gatorade and eating Qdoba on the couch while watching Netflix... No, I have errands to run" has been an amazing line to deliver.
Why did I screw it all up? I hate myself. I thought I blew this candle out, seems like it is self re-igniting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,850
This does not have to be the precursor of an alcohol-fueled three day weekend, taureg.
Start drinking plenty of water and get to bed. Continue pushing water or Gatorade tomorrow, eat light meals and try to get some fresh air.
Most importantly resolutely recommit to sobriety; get back to cycling when you feel better; fully examine what went wrong and shore up the holes in your plan; maybe add something to your sobriety toolbox (maybe read some books on alcoholism and recovery).
Get back on the sober path and keep moving forward.
Start drinking plenty of water and get to bed. Continue pushing water or Gatorade tomorrow, eat light meals and try to get some fresh air.
Most importantly resolutely recommit to sobriety; get back to cycling when you feel better; fully examine what went wrong and shore up the holes in your plan; maybe add something to your sobriety toolbox (maybe read some books on alcoholism and recovery).
Get back on the sober path and keep moving forward.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Taureg, we have all done the same thing. You described my feeling so well when as you were popping the cork, you thought you shouldn't be drinking. It's good that you even realize you shouldn't! Please don't beat yourself up because the guilt fuels the addictive voice.....The voice that tells us to drink.
SoberLeigh said it well....don't let this moment grow into full blown relapse. Waking up sober/rejuvenated is something you will enjoy again very soon!
SoberLeigh said it well....don't let this moment grow into full blown relapse. Waking up sober/rejuvenated is something you will enjoy again very soon!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,352
Good to see you Taureg - sorry you slipped tho.
I agree with the others that this doesn't have to be the start of a binge...not sure if you went the AA route or not but there's sure to be a meeting or two in your neck of the woods this weekend.
No need for you to sign up for anything if you don't want to but it's one very concrete way of making an effort for your recovery this weekend?
We'll be here too - why not join the Class of October support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2015-a-18.html
D
I agree with the others that this doesn't have to be the start of a binge...not sure if you went the AA route or not but there's sure to be a meeting or two in your neck of the woods this weekend.
No need for you to sign up for anything if you don't want to but it's one very concrete way of making an effort for your recovery this weekend?
We'll be here too - why not join the Class of October support thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...2015-a-18.html
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome back Taureg!!
Quickly draw a line under alcohol once again and get straight back to Sobriety.
More support was what I needed in my plan to make it happen, in isolation even in the good times my addiction would start to sell me all the fairytales as to why drinking would be a good idea, even a daily check in on SR would sort that out, something as a daily reminder could be the small tweak needed moving forward!!
You can do this!!
Quickly draw a line under alcohol once again and get straight back to Sobriety.
More support was what I needed in my plan to make it happen, in isolation even in the good times my addiction would start to sell me all the fairytales as to why drinking would be a good idea, even a daily check in on SR would sort that out, something as a daily reminder could be the small tweak needed moving forward!!
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Taureg, its one day. Actually not even one day, one evening. The morning might be a little rough, but I'm guessing if you've been sober for quite awhile, by lunch you feel normal again and can resume your healthy new routine. Just my 2 cents. I agree with what others have said, don't make it a binge. Lord no.
Member
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Shenandoah Jct, W.V.
Posts: 4
keep your head up taureg! The most important thing is that you recognized that you had a moment of weakness and you want to stay clean. keeping this frame of mind is a positive step in recovery especially after a slip up! I have relapsed several times in my life but as soon as I picked up that first drink or drug I gave up and buried any feelings of guilt I might have about getting drunk/high again. This attitude led me down the dark road again and again and again! You on the other hand regret the mistake you made and sound like you want to get back on track and that's awesome!!!
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