Slip and Slide and Fall
 

Hello I'm new to this board. It is obvious that my program isn't working as well as needed. I got my 1 year medallion--The third in 5 years --and a few days later I was crawling around sick from drink in a hotel room. Now I just need to try something new hoping it will help stay the hand of my alcoholism.

I'll be lurking the boards here looking for insight and once my eggs get a little less scrambled from my binge I may even chime in.

Welcome, MrMuppet to SR; glad you found us. You'll find much encouragement, support and understanding here.

What program have used in the past?

Welcome MrMuppet

@SoberLeigh-
I'm still working through getting the hang of forums so excuse me if I make too many faux pas.

I have been in AA for 7 years now. 5 years I have actually committed effort to. I have been to 1 outpatient rehab and 2 inpatient rehabs. I have gone through the steps twice and have had 3 sponsors over the years. I have also in the past received psychological and psychiatric help. I attend a weekly meeting regularly and occasionally go to another.

I always end up falling when under emotional duress that, excuse the pun, I bottle up. I am currently relocating and found myself with too much time on the road with feelings of abject loneliness. During the last three months I have also been overeating and smoking much more than normal. I just failed to recognize the precursors and ultimately surrendered to the "voice".

I need to try something new because I am fearful that I will drink myself to death during one of these yearly episodes. So the webboard here and an evaluation of my current health appear to be good places to start and shore up my foundation.

Wonderful to meet you, MrM. You're among friends who understand and care.

Hi MrMuppet glad you are here, welcome.

Cool, Mr Muppet. Will look forward to it :-)

Welcome Mr Muppet! Glad you have joined us.

Welcome to the family. :) You'll find lots of support here. :)

SR could be a great resource for you; it has for me! Read around the various forums; be sure to read the 'Stickies' at the top of each forum page; there is some great information in those threads.

Very glad you found us.

hi Mrmuppet, I've been a member for a little less than a year here, but lurked for a long time. Can't say I remember a case quite like yours. Its clear to me you are not addicted per say, to alcohol, but have a serious issue, regardless. I'm not a rocket scientist, but it would seem to me that there are some underlying issues at play. I'm probably out of my league here because I have read on this site that people with 10+ years of sobriety have relapsed. But going a year at a stretch and then drinking to the point brink of hospitalization seems unique. It's clear you can remain sober based on your track record, hopefully you can get over that 1 year hump. Wishing you the best, and support your efforts.

Hi Mr Muppet - and welcome :)

I've seen various posts here from people who have a stretch of sober time and then almost inexplicably go back to drinking, very self destructively, so your case is not uncommon.

I know I had to treat the cause of my malaise and I found alcohol was but a symptom.

I tried to fill a void in me with all kinds of stuff...nothing ever came close...

But I had much better results when I tried healing that void.

Maybe thats something to think about? :dunno:

That's a really big call to make on the back of one post Jeff.

There's a vast mental component to addiction that defies simple categorisation, I think.

If that wasn't true, noone would drink again after the physical withdrawal.

D

Welcome to the Forum MrMuppet!! :wave:

welcome Mr. Muppet...

I've been there. I understand the cycle. I think most of us do.

For me, going to meetings and getting medallions wasn't enough. To succeed in living sober, I had to deepen my sobriety. AA was a part of that, reading the Big Book was a part of that. Coming here to SR was a big part of that. Keeping recovery in my life and in my mind DAILY was a huge part of it.

But also I made active changes in my life; my outer life, my inner life, my friends and my activities and my attitude. I got more honest with myself and started digging in to work on myself. I went to counseling and group men's work events and I stopped going to places and events that were centered around drinking. I tried new things that didn't have to do with drinking. I actively worked, every day, on seeing sobriety as a positive - versus a "have to". I sought out role models in sobriety whom I admire and could look to as examples of how I wanted to be. I volunteered in service - both in recovery work and just in general in the community. I got outside myself. I built a network of friends in recovery who I could connect with and feel comfortable and supported with. I re-engaged in exercise and healthy activities and tried to get more nature in my life.

It was an entire web of things that I did as I evolved and grew and kept focused on not just "not drinking" but on living a richer life and doing so with a choice to embrace and honor life by being sober.

It has worked for nearly two years..... and I feel it will keep working.

I know you can do it too.

Welcome

Thanks for all the great input everyone. I have apparently landed on the right board. I agree with others that a whole life change is in order. I have been doing a lot of introspection since my slip and I have definitely identified some items that have fallen off of my recovery path and some new items I should check out along the way. I am currently building my recovery routine and a daily viewing of this board is definitely an item. Until I slipped I did not realize how "out of whack" I had become. I was in survival mode instead of building or thriving mode. I'm starting small by just getting out and walking at least 5k daily and watching the types and amounts of food I eat. The next step is to attempt to regulate my sleep cycle. Once I settle in at the new homestead I do think I will seek professional help again as well as continuing AA attendance.

Welcome MrMuppet :)

Someone is always here, you never have to feel lonely again. I'm a pretty solitary person, always have been, so this forum is really helpful to feel connected. There are "class" threads you can join and get to know some people a little better: here is the October 2015 one for those who quit in October. I'm sure you would be a lot of help to them as someone who has recently quit for long stretches. You would have experience to share. I know there are others in that "class" who have struggled after periods of sobriety. I found the class thread really helpful in the beginning here.

Direct link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-2015-a.html

HI Dee, sorry. I guess my naivety about alcoholism was showing through. I will be more mindful of such things going forward.

Excellent advice

Muppet,

Great that you are back on track. We are here for you. No need to be lonely (as long as you are willing to have friends that you later find out are a different sex than you thought they were, which happens to me all the time on SR).

Do good and get credit.