Big Depression Wave
 

I just realized that I missed an important meeting to go volunteer at the hospital this morning. I feel like such an idiot and it's sending me down this whole spiral of me not having done anything with my life. At 32 I have a decent job but it's not where I want to be so I'm back in school and this meeting was part of it. I feel like I let them down over there. All I feel is sadness and anger at myself. How do I cope? Will it go away? I feel like I just felt like this all the time before I drank and that's why I started. (This is my day 4).

I'd suggest give those involved a call, and apologize. That's probably the best way forward, and best way to relieve your conscience of guilt. Always be up-front and honest, especially when you make mistakes.

I agree with Troy. Just be honest and apologize. We all have screw ups. Apologize then live it down.

This feeling will go away. Hang in there and don't beat yourself up. Call and apologize for missing the meeting and ask if you can reschedule.

Four days is very early on. My brain was all over the place. Scattered thoughts and hard to remember things.

People forget meetings. Stuff comes up. Stick it out. You're doing well.

Congrats on day 4 Ohme. You know that drinking will just take you right back to the place you are trying to leave behind. Your body is adjusting and with that comes forgetfulness; at least it did for me.

Hang in there, you're doing great.

Call and apologize and move on with your day. As others have pointed out, day 4 is still very early. The forgetfulness is part of the process and shows your brain is rewiring itself and repairing. So, as annoying as it is, the forgetfulness is usually a good sign things are improving so try to look at the bright side. In my first few weeks back to being sober, I made my assistant at work remind me of EVERYTHING. I needed it or I would forget (thank goodness she is a patient person!). I even forgot my dad's birthday for the first time ever. That sucked. But then the fog started to lift and it got better. Hang in there and keep up the good work!

Absolutely, call and explain what happened. And, enjoy the rest of your day.

Well Day 4 of Sobriety is "doing" something with your life, that's an achievement to be proud of, taking some positive steps to build a great foundation upon which a life can be built upon, a happier one, a one you can be proud of!!

Keep pushing through and you'll get there!! :)

I agree with the rest call be honest if your panicking try some breathing exercises

You're still really early! My depression has improved steadily (day 77) and yours will too. Congrats on being so proactive. You may want to try some relaxation yoga early and that helps.

Thanks so much for the kind words. I did email her with an apology and she ended up apologizing to me because she had forgot to put me on the list lol. So now I am going to see them November 17 and it worked out. Although that part worked out, I still am feeling very crapped out today. I can't seem to bring myself to do anything and I'm dizzy and absent minded. In the past making it to day 4 hasn't caused me this much trauma. I keep thinking - well it's almost Friday then I can drink... but then I remember the promise I made to myself and my husband and I get a little angry, sad, weird, whatever. Just all around awful feeling. I hope these feelings subside soon. They are very hard to live with.

Ohme - go easy on yourself. :) You've been through so much, and it's early days yet. Your anxiety will lessen & things will get better.

Ohme, you are probably feeling worse this time because it gets harder and harder on the system every time we abuse our bodies and then have to recover. Even more reason not to drink or let the weekend turn into a bender. The second time I stopped for an extended period (right now), it was much harder in the first few weeks than before. I didn't have to see a doctor the first time but this time I absolutely needed it. You are doing great and keep at it! I will be on here this weekend so post away as you make your way through.