Day 6
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20
Day 6
Well, still going. Now that I'm a little clearer, I realize how bad I had gotten. I'm very anxious, foggy and insomniac. Also very little appetite, but I did buy healthful food and have been eating small meals. I understand these are normal symptoms that will pass, but I wish they'd go already!!! The anxiety/shame/regret is getting me down today.
The thought of trekking down to the market for "the usual" plagued me all day, but I just didn't leave my apartment community. I would go for a walk, but don't quite trust myself. The urges really do pass, but I want to make it work this time.
There's a SMART meeting tomorrow daytime, which I prefer. The Saturday one was awesome. The good news was that a trigger happened and I didn't drink -- this was something we discussed at the SMART meeting. I have a camera doorbell, and it rang when I was down at the pool (can see who's there on my iPhone). My blood ran cold as there's a civil bench arrest warrant issued for me. But it was just the UPS man! My plan had been to get in the jacuzzi, shower, listen to an online meditation or do a few minutes of a yoga video. So I got in the jacuzzi, pronto. Whew.
Any suggestions are very welcome.
The thought of trekking down to the market for "the usual" plagued me all day, but I just didn't leave my apartment community. I would go for a walk, but don't quite trust myself. The urges really do pass, but I want to make it work this time.
There's a SMART meeting tomorrow daytime, which I prefer. The Saturday one was awesome. The good news was that a trigger happened and I didn't drink -- this was something we discussed at the SMART meeting. I have a camera doorbell, and it rang when I was down at the pool (can see who's there on my iPhone). My blood ran cold as there's a civil bench arrest warrant issued for me. But it was just the UPS man! My plan had been to get in the jacuzzi, shower, listen to an online meditation or do a few minutes of a yoga video. So I got in the jacuzzi, pronto. Whew.
Any suggestions are very welcome.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Early recovery is hard, make no mistake about it - but it gets better.
Sounds like you're dealing with things ok?
Maybe make a little more use of this place tho? Never underestimate the power of support - or supporting someone else
D
Sounds like you're dealing with things ok?
Maybe make a little more use of this place tho? Never underestimate the power of support - or supporting someone else
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20
I'm still relatively confused and cloudy. The other day at the coffee shop I realized how obvious I was to everyone. Gained weight, shakes, bumping into things. I had to laugh at myself a little; having trouble doing the simplest things. I've been fairly non-functional. At the beginning I photographed myself AND my messy apartment. OMG.
But today I did not leave the property as I was feeling weak. It's hard to summon up booze out of thin air. Now I'm in my PJs with wet hair, so no plans to do anything but sleeeeeeep, I hope.
But today I did not leave the property as I was feeling weak. It's hard to summon up booze out of thin air. Now I'm in my PJs with wet hair, so no plans to do anything but sleeeeeeep, I hope.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20
Just took some Chinese herbs from an acupuncturist, tea, warm shower, and sorted out all the vitamins I used to take. Backed up computer for the first time in 80 days, whoa. things really got out of control! Couple of my favorite shows on TV tonight. Decided to go to the local 6:45 am AA meeting tomorrow instead of the much-farther SMART one. New habits developing!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20
Made it through a weak day, thanks guys! I actually slept a few hours last night -- feel much better. Did not make the meeting as sleep was more important. I found some free self-hypnosis online that were really helpful. Guy named Michael Sealey (he's not selling anything) has a voice that's incredibly soothing.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20
Good day today! I am so relieved to not feel nauseous I was actually not wanting any vodka or cheap swill -- much to my surprise. My feet did carry me to the booze aisle at the grocery store. I've been listening to hypnosis and meditations designed to make you think ahead, and/or think of booze as disgusting. I looked at one of my beloved mini-wines and almost gagged. I think I had become so physically addicted I'd crossed over into needing instead of wanting it. So I walked out of the store with zucchini, yogurt and TP. No booze. Drove by all my watering holes. Nope. Went straight home! Got some walking in today too. Just a tiny bit.
It's still taking a looong time to figure out how to do simple things. But I did make myself eat three small, healthy meals. Veggies and all! I must say the habitual behavior is ingrained, my feet keep taking me toward the bad places, but I'm not going in. Let's see what tomorrow brings.
It's still taking a looong time to figure out how to do simple things. But I did make myself eat three small, healthy meals. Veggies and all! I must say the habitual behavior is ingrained, my feet keep taking me toward the bad places, but I'm not going in. Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Crimzone, good job on accomplishing some small tasks today. One thing you mentioned stuck out to me. You mentioned you crossed over from wanting booze to needing it. Well, you are on Day 6 so you likely don't need it to remain safe from a medical standpoint (keep in mind I said likely). So with that said, you have broke free and you don't ever have to return to needing booze to function. Again, great job. Keep it up.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
You are over the physical danger zone....
But, now you will feel all messed up for a while...anxiety, fog, stress..blah blah...get used to it..it gets better each day. Certain food and drinks helped me. Cliff Bars are amazing. Lots of fluids. Eat when you crave. I ate every 2 hours.
For me it was a good 2 to 3 months. Now at 5 months...feeling like a brand new man.
It has been 20 years since I've been this clean. Cheerish each sober day.
Alcohol is poisen.
But, now you will feel all messed up for a while...anxiety, fog, stress..blah blah...get used to it..it gets better each day. Certain food and drinks helped me. Cliff Bars are amazing. Lots of fluids. Eat when you crave. I ate every 2 hours.
For me it was a good 2 to 3 months. Now at 5 months...feeling like a brand new man.
It has been 20 years since I've been this clean. Cheerish each sober day.
Alcohol is poisen.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Crimzone, stevepearce, sydneyman. Any other newbies out there who are finishing their first week of sobriety. May I make a suggestion? You are all in the same boat. I presume you are all aware of the Class of October 2015 thread. Use it. Stay in touch with each other. Send a PM or two to your classmates. There is nothing like an unsolicited PM of support to steel your resolve to stay sober.
I am 2+ years sober and I still connect with those sober classmates of mine from August 2013. As much support as you may receive from SR members, there is no bond like the bond between those who got sober at the same time.
Support each other. Lean on each other. It helps.
Good luck to all of you.
I am 2+ years sober and I still connect with those sober classmates of mine from August 2013. As much support as you may receive from SR members, there is no bond like the bond between those who got sober at the same time.
Support each other. Lean on each other. It helps.
Good luck to all of you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20
Doing great! I'm over a week, not sure what day now. The physical symptoms are improving vastly every day. My insides are still inflamed, but I'm eating a good clean diet and taking all the usual supplements (kudzu, B-complex, milk thistle, etc.). I bought an online plan for recovery that sends an email every day and comes with a hypnosis MP3 and a very good workbook.
My plan also includes two SMART Recovery meetings weekly and 15 minutes daily with the SMART workbook. I worked my way back up to walking 10,000 steps a day (iPhones come with a free app that measures it) and taking time for meal prep so there are always cut-up fruits, veggies, and proteins around. Last week in SMART we did an exercise in taking a moment when the trigger/urge comes and deciding what to do instead. We all came up with alternatives -- I did it earlier in the week when a phone call triggered me (jacuzzi, online meditation) and then yesterday I got another urge. (One wouldn't hurt...goes the thinking...) So I was up to 7,000 steps that day and decided to finish my 10,000 with another 3,000 in the park. Well, a half hour later after looking at picnickers, sea lions and boats, the urge had passed. I happily went home, had a healthy dinner and went to bed.
This morning is another SMART meeting. It's a great group filled with all kinds of creative misfits -- just my kinda people! I think my success this time is due to my age and physical condition trumping any desire to drink. I feel so much better and am becoming productive again I don't think I can ever go back. I also lost five lbs already without trying.
One thing I did on Day 1 was take a picture of myself and my classic drunk-person apt (food in bed, no sheets on bed, clothing strewn all over living room, all cabinets open, detritus on every countertop, every single dish in sink...you get the picture). There will be an after pic.
My plan also includes two SMART Recovery meetings weekly and 15 minutes daily with the SMART workbook. I worked my way back up to walking 10,000 steps a day (iPhones come with a free app that measures it) and taking time for meal prep so there are always cut-up fruits, veggies, and proteins around. Last week in SMART we did an exercise in taking a moment when the trigger/urge comes and deciding what to do instead. We all came up with alternatives -- I did it earlier in the week when a phone call triggered me (jacuzzi, online meditation) and then yesterday I got another urge. (One wouldn't hurt...goes the thinking...) So I was up to 7,000 steps that day and decided to finish my 10,000 with another 3,000 in the park. Well, a half hour later after looking at picnickers, sea lions and boats, the urge had passed. I happily went home, had a healthy dinner and went to bed.
This morning is another SMART meeting. It's a great group filled with all kinds of creative misfits -- just my kinda people! I think my success this time is due to my age and physical condition trumping any desire to drink. I feel so much better and am becoming productive again I don't think I can ever go back. I also lost five lbs already without trying.
One thing I did on Day 1 was take a picture of myself and my classic drunk-person apt (food in bed, no sheets on bed, clothing strewn all over living room, all cabinets open, detritus on every countertop, every single dish in sink...you get the picture). There will be an after pic.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Crimezone
I really love your thread!! One thing I noticed in your posts is you seem to understand that getting and staying sober requires patience, being good to yourself and having a daily plan on continuing to remain sober. They say alcoholism is progressive, but so is sobriety and you seem to know it. Anybody that is struggling to get sober should read your posts. Very inspirational and very positive. Thanks
I really love your thread!! One thing I noticed in your posts is you seem to understand that getting and staying sober requires patience, being good to yourself and having a daily plan on continuing to remain sober. They say alcoholism is progressive, but so is sobriety and you seem to know it. Anybody that is struggling to get sober should read your posts. Very inspirational and very positive. Thanks
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 20
Well, I've tried many times, and due to my age and physical decrepitude, I really really want to do it this time and get healthy and slim again. Also SMART is perfect for me, and I found the right meeting. I've been drinking heavily for 40 years straight, and I won't have many, if any chances going forward. Today we talked about activity and thought alternatives to address the urges or habitual behavior.
It's amazing how much sharper I am, AlTHOUGH, I did just find a saran-wrapped half watermelon in the cabinet, not the fridge. LOL. Guess I'm not all that sharp.
I was just at the farmer's market across from me. It's really HOT here today. I saw the Chart House sign on the corner -- happy hour 12-4! Oooooooo! So let's say I go. I'll be the only person under 70 there. (All the geezers are sitting around trying to figure out their iPhones.) Hmmm, that is a habit, not an urge or want. Went home to my air conditioner instead.
It's amazing how much sharper I am, AlTHOUGH, I did just find a saran-wrapped half watermelon in the cabinet, not the fridge. LOL. Guess I'm not all that sharp.
I was just at the farmer's market across from me. It's really HOT here today. I saw the Chart House sign on the corner -- happy hour 12-4! Oooooooo! So let's say I go. I'll be the only person under 70 there. (All the geezers are sitting around trying to figure out their iPhones.) Hmmm, that is a habit, not an urge or want. Went home to my air conditioner instead.
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