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Look up weekender thread October 2 Pt. 2

Old 10-06-2015, 10:08 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Ruby's houses made me think of this poem we studied in high school.

Harlem
-Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?
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Old 10-06-2015, 10:16 AM
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hm. Note to self. *Check on the time-change date.* Like it matters. The only clocks I use are my computer and my iPhone.

Cripes. I have to change ISPs. Mine will be out of business on Nov 6. I've put this off just about as long as is possible - they told us six months ago.

I went for a tour of a new church yesterday. They were really nice, but I still have my reservations about church. I'm pretty alone in life, though, so I think I need somewhere I can be of service with face-to-face live humans. Not that I don't really like my interweb pals. What was that line from the movie? I need people with skin. So I think I'll go on Sunday and see what it's all about. Two minutes from my house, medium size congregation.
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Old 10-06-2015, 10:44 AM
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...holds the key
 
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Sounds good Bimini. Sometimes I wish I didn't have so much interaction with people with skin. I find myself pulling away when people start depending on me too much. Need to work on that I suppose.

Eating lunch on the patio. It's beautiful today even though its sunny!

Don't think I mentioned this but I've asked mr brynn to move out. The timing sucks because I'm unemployed and starting school in January but I can't ignore the writing on the wall any longer. Anyway....thanks to my late husband I'll be ok financially if I can find a part time job and be somewhat frugal.
The guilt is what's eating at me most though. He's already blaming his drinking again on me dumping him when he needs me most. Although I'm pretty sure he was drinking before I ever dumped him. And as long as he's drinking he's got to have his coke chaser. Found that when I came home this weekend. Yay.

Yes Melina....keep smiling!
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Old 10-06-2015, 10:57 AM
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Oh, Brynn, good for you! I know that congratulations on a decision like that seems weird but it's so hard and so necessary. Absolutely don't fall for his feel sorry for me, I'm drinking because you're kicking me out, crap. You know him well enough to know he was using and drinking even before then. You'll be just fine once he's out. Now if only I could muster the courage and resolve you did. Way to go!

Bimini, it's so hard picking a new or any church. We just switched and I still feel guilty. The other church had far too few people. And three other kids. The new one had tons of kids and actual Sunday school. The only problem is it's not in my neighborhood. Check it out.

Lunch break. I brought chicken and noodles but have a taste for salad so one of the guts is picking one up for me.

Melina, those houses are just east and just west of the Dan Ryan. My great grandparents house is close to the lake in South Shore.
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Old 10-06-2015, 11:09 AM
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You are not the cause of his drinking Brynn. You said before he did his IP that you weren't very confident. He cannot put that on you

Ruby, hopefully with a $16,000 sale price someone will give it a new lease of life (or are you expecting it to be demolished and replaced)

Well done for reacting like grown up LB, when things like that happened to me when I was drinking (and let's face it minor annoyances are a fact of life) I would always use it as an excuse for a booze filled pity party

Good luck with the phone hunt Melina

Ditto for finding a new ISP Bim

Kind of a damp squib of a day here in several ways. Lousy weather plus I had to spend some of my time consoling Dizzee at work (she has dismal taste in men - I don't know where she finds them) She is 30 yrs old and gets through half a dozen totally unsuitable men annually. On the plus side it meant that she was to upset to make tea (she makes the worst tea ever - I haven't the heart to tell her)
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Old 10-06-2015, 11:10 AM
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brynn - hugs, it's a tough decision you made but you have to do what is in your best interest, sending you good vibes and love...

I don't have many people with skin in my life - just one really... but I am able to focus on myself and the many things I neglected over the years.. I still have a long way to go but I am surely keeping busy...

I've been wanting to GET out of this house for a while, among the plethora of reasons this just happened... I was out raking dirt/mud and decided to come in for a water.... as I came around to the front a new neighbor came out of the house with her two little ones,.. I hear, I'm gonna kill you followed by what the F is wrong with you, don't effin argue with me ETC. The little guy looked to be about 4 years old tops. And the older one (maybe 6) got a bit as well... And it was probably heard about a block away... NICE eh?

I made a salad and some meat with peppers and onions and brown rice earlier - my midday snack in a couple hours. The wife just had a revelation and told me that people who live longer healthier lives don't consume animal fat. Yeah, I already knew that... I also discovered that coconut oil is just as unhealthy as pure animal fat -
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Old 10-06-2015, 11:24 AM
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a quick funny for the day...
I poured the queen a cup of coffee in her 'college' mug. She refused to drink out of that mug - I don't like that mug. Why? They gave me a B- in one of my classes. So I'm not drinking out of it. She sure showed them

Hopefully she gets all 'As' in the next courses. Can't imagine what she'll do next...
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Old 10-06-2015, 11:30 AM
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...holds the key
 
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Thanks for the support y'all. And Ruby...this would've been much harder if kids were involved.

Sao....I feel a kindred spirit with Dizzee. She probably finds her men in bars like the rest of us. Blah! (and her tea making plight made me smile)

Brain....I've never cooked with coconut oil but I use it on my hair ....it's all the rage for hair and skin care. Try it on your 'do' ....maybe you'll live longer and you won't waste a perfectly good tub of oil!
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Old 10-06-2015, 11:30 AM
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You can take my animal fat and coconut oil away from me over my dead body, Mrs LB.

Yeah, so, church. So many things going through my head. I've tried this before and it has never gone well. Most people at churches are families. No family here. I usually get the sad/pitying looks from people and that just rubs me the wrong way. All the churches have some part of their doctrine as marriage being the goal. Well, been there done that too. Churches are patriarchal. No way around that. I'm already talking myself out of it. I've been doing online research and I don't know if it's really for me.

So. Many. Rules.

Alcoholics hate rules.

That's why they're alkies, right? I'm really conflicted right now. Will someone please yank me out of my damn head?
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Old 10-06-2015, 11:33 AM
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p.s. Sorry, brynn I stepped all over your story about Mr brynn. I'm glad you have the ability to take care of yourself financially. Wanna go to this patriarchal church with me?
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Old 10-06-2015, 11:39 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
You can take my animal fat and coconut oil away from me over my dead body, Mrs LB.

Yeah, so, church. So many things going through my head. I've tried this before and it has never gone well. Most people at churches are families. No family here. I usually get the sad/pitying looks from people and that just rubs me the wrong way. All the churches have some part of their doctrine as marriage being the goal. Well, been there done that too. Churches are patriarchal. No way around that. I'm already talking myself out of it. I've been doing online research and I don't know if it's really for me.
I can't help here, bb. I would say and think every single thing you said.
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Old 10-06-2015, 12:09 PM
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No worries bim! Yeah...I'll go with you for moral support. Can we get ice cream after?
Listen....don't talk yourself out of it before you've ever even gone. You don't have to make a lifelong commitment. Just go and get a feel for the kind of people that are there and the kind of outreach they do. I dare you
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Old 10-06-2015, 01:19 PM
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.
Be it picking a Church; going to Family Reunions; or eating Ice Cream, I subscribe to the Ben & Jerry's Philosophy on their Bumper Sticker:

~ If It's Not Fun, Why Do It? ~

Fun, to me, in this context means 'positive'. Uplifting. Get something out of it you can use. Not necessarily 'ha ha', Knee-slappin' fun. Listening right now to a Techno Re-Mix of 'Jammin' by Bob Marley. Instant good mood, given that I'm trying to get my uncooperative Printer to print my updated Annuity Docs to sign.

In other News, I've shed all kinda crapola in Sobriety I was doing 'just because' prior. I'm focusing on The Good Stuff. Even if there's less of 'it'. Got my Stereo tweaked after much detailed work, and the preferred Amp is now running sa_wheet!

In the classic Words of Sweet Brown: 'Ain't nobody got time for that'!

- 'Ain't Nobody Got Time For That' ~ Sweet Brown ~ 42 secs -
.
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Old 10-06-2015, 02:28 PM
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Bim, not everyone at church is a family. Even if people who have families are there, not everyone is there with a partner. And I don't know what church you attend but marriage might be mentioned in passing but I've never seen it as the end goal of any service. I dunno what I'm getting at other than if you want to attend church, go and if one church doesn't work, try another one. Like AA meetings, each church has its own flavor and vibe.

Brynn, guess I'm in your shoes. Mr. Ruby decided that he's moving in with his sponsor in an attempt to string sober days together. He is out of town for work a lot. I'm pretty sure he stays sober while he's gone. Comes home and is out the door. So anyway, solidarity. Although Mr. Ruby will probably come back home at some point.

I'm at work, at my desk. But heading out soon. See you all later.
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Old 10-06-2015, 02:32 PM
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Bless you and hubs, Ruby. Desperate measures.
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Old 10-06-2015, 02:36 PM
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Originally Posted by MesaMan View Post
.


In other News, I've shed all kinda crapola in Sobriety I was doing 'just because' prior.

- 'Ain't Nobody Got Time For That' ~ Sweet Brown ~ 42 secs -
.
What a great metaphor for the USA. I wish you were running in 2016 Mesa
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Old 10-06-2015, 02:39 PM
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Thanks, Ruby.

Wow on him moving in with his sponsor. That's pretty encouraging, isn't it? I know he has struggled a lot. His sponsor must see willingness.
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Old 10-06-2015, 03:50 PM
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Originally Posted by brynn View Post
Sounds good Bimini. Sometimes I wish I didn't have so much interaction with people with skin. I find myself pulling away when people start depending on me too much. Need to work on that I suppose.

Eating lunch on the patio. It's beautiful today even though its sunny!

Don't think I mentioned this but I've asked mr brynn to move out. The timing sucks because I'm unemployed and starting school in January but I can't ignore the writing on the wall any longer. Anyway....thanks to my late husband I'll be ok financially if I can find a part time job and be somewhat frugal.
The guilt is what's eating at me most though. He's already blaming his drinking again on me dumping him when he needs me most. Although I'm pretty sure he was drinking before I ever dumped him. And as long as he's drinking he's got to have his coke chaser. Found that when I came home this weekend. Yay.

Yes Melina....keep smiling!
Don't let him guilt you, emtional manipulation is pathetic.
I just had some one do it to me when I ended our little romance and I wouldn't even listen, they're grown men

Speaking of which, I have a date tonight.
And another one over the weekend, a whole weekend date.
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Old 10-06-2015, 04:23 PM
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Church?

About 40 years ago, when I started college(stop laughing!) I took up with a nice Irish Catholic girl. A lifelong love of architecture was birthed by that connection and being able to visit beautiful churches and cathedrals. My father and I had quite the religious experience in Leipzig, Germany on a business trip. We got to visit a few churches/cathedrals where Protestantism began. For Dad it was as significant as a trip to Jerusalem. For me, it was the same experience as visiting F.L. Wright's Taliesin West. An intense experience in spaces devoted to uplifting human beings.

As such, whenever I get to feeling the need for inspiration, I go to a cathedral. Or a monastery. The "feeling" is what I need. I liken it to being deep in the woods with only myself and my thoughts.
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Old 10-06-2015, 05:01 PM
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Bravo, Brynn. Best decision, even though I'm sure it's hard for you.
And Ruby! I honestly think this is excellent news. I pray that your husband can get clean and sober. But at least you will have peace at your home in the meantime.
I plan to have peach crisp for dinner. It is in the oven as we speak.
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