How should I read the Big Book?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 521
Read in the back about the spiritual experience. For some it does happen in 5 mins... but, for most it takes years of help and direction of thought and tongue and foot in order to align ourselves enough to have a spiritual awakening.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by buk1000 
Just start in and set it down when you start to lose interest.
I got a copy and started on page 1. I was expecting to just read a few pages. I couldn't put it down.
I got a copy and started on page 1. I was expecting to just read a few pages. I couldn't put it down.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I view it as a text book. Some of it is theory and some instructions. As Dee says start on page 1 and keep going. At least for me the BB while extremely useful was not enough to keep me sober. For that I needed meetings, a sponsor, and working the steps
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by TroyW
Beccy,
No, no... it doesn't say view anyone with fear and resentment. The complete opposite actually. It's when you're doing your personal inventory, you're supposed to write down individual, cause, and effect. Many times in the effect column you'll note you feel fear and / or resentment towards that person for whatever reason (eg. boss is a jerk, and might fire me).
The book says that person is "spiritually sick" as well, and instead you should look towards them with compassion, sympathy and tolerance. All I meant was reading that type of thing doesn't help me personally, because that's simply the way society here works. It's very communal living, very non-judgemental, everyone views this as OUR community, so it's very seldom people here get looked at with fear / resentment. They just don't do that here -- it's second nature not to for everyone.
That's all I meant.
No, no... it doesn't say view anyone with fear and resentment. The complete opposite actually. It's when you're doing your personal inventory, you're supposed to write down individual, cause, and effect. Many times in the effect column you'll note you feel fear and / or resentment towards that person for whatever reason (eg. boss is a jerk, and might fire me).
The book says that person is "spiritually sick" as well, and instead you should look towards them with compassion, sympathy and tolerance. All I meant was reading that type of thing doesn't help me personally, because that's simply the way society here works. It's very communal living, very non-judgemental, everyone views this as OUR community, so it's very seldom people here get looked at with fear / resentment. They just don't do that here -- it's second nature not to for everyone.
That's all I meant.
reading didnt help mefor crap either.
took others explaining then putting it into action for results to happen.
and it wasnt automatic. results didnt happen overnight. that took T.I.M.E.
we are looking at our past resentment and fi ding out what caused them
troy, if ya want to learn exactly what the big book is talking about without misconceptions
go to big book study meetings.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
I first read it when someone gave me a copy in detox.
I read all the stories first just looking for something I could identify with it. Then I moved on to the rest of it, and it was with meetings and a sponsor that I could really start understanding and using it to help me.
I still go to weekly Big Book study meetings and pretty much always hear something new and useful to me from my fellow members.
I read all the stories first just looking for something I could identify with it. Then I moved on to the rest of it, and it was with meetings and a sponsor that I could really start understanding and using it to help me.
I still go to weekly Big Book study meetings and pretty much always hear something new and useful to me from my fellow members.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by Saliena
Read in the back about the spiritual experience. For some it does happen in 5 mins... but, for most it takes years of help and direction of thought and tongue and foot in order to align ourselves enough to have a spiritual awakening.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by Beccybean
Just out of interest - why the reluctance to get a sponsor or go to live meetings?
And my job is such that it could be detrimental to go public. Probably not as bad as I think, but possibly. I don't trust that people always keep things anonymous.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by SportsFan15
It's several reasons, one admittedly being anxiety. But more importantly two things: codependency and the type of job I have. I likely need to be in a codependency group as well. And I fear latching on to people in unhealthy ways.....generally caretaking them.
And my job is such that it could be detrimental to go public. Probably not as bad as I think, but possibly. I don't trust that people always keep things anonymous.
And my job is such that it could be detrimental to go public. Probably not as bad as I think, but possibly. I don't trust that people always keep things anonymous.
I'm a teacher. I've met lots of people in the rooms social workers; lawyers; nurses; surgeons; lecturers; business owners; mothers - all of whom might have the same worry. But ultimately, it's our alcoholic behaviour, not the meeting that keeps us sober, that will lead to our public demise. I do remember feeling the same - scurrying into meetings with that sense of embarrassment. I couldn't understand how the smokers standing around outside couldn't be worried they'd get spotted. But at the end of the day, there's little scandal in someone working on their recovery. (Wish I could say the same about some of my old drunk antics :o ) As far as sharing in the rooms - I don't tend to share anything that could be too damaging to an open forum. My shares tend to be recovery focused. The more personal stuff is just between me and my sponsor - and as she's the only person I've ever, ever told most of that stuff to, then I'd soon know she'd blabbed if any of it got out. But she's been sober and sponsoring for years and years now. She's unshockable and certainly no gossip, and I trust her to keep my secrets much more than I trust my old drunk self not to keep making more of the blasted things. So, I keep going and stay sober, and in the rooms I've learned to trust and be trustworthy- which in itself is a blessing.
Good luck with your personal journey.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Colchester, England
Posts: 104
SportsFan - if you're worried about the anonymity, look for closed meetings, as those are limited to problem drinkers and those with a desire to stop drinking. It's not a guarantee that anonymity won't be broken outside the rooms, but you won't run into lookie-loos, at least.
I've also heard of meetings that aren't listed, for people such as doctors, lawyers, airline pilots, who have to be especially careful that their anonymity isn't broken. You could try your local AA helpline to see if they know of any in the local area, or can put you in touch with someone that can.
I totally get the anxiety thing...going into my very first meeting was one of the scaries things I'd ever done. But I had to face the fear, as my life depended on it. I hope you won't let your fears stop you from saving yours. It's a killer disease.
I've also heard of meetings that aren't listed, for people such as doctors, lawyers, airline pilots, who have to be especially careful that their anonymity isn't broken. You could try your local AA helpline to see if they know of any in the local area, or can put you in touch with someone that can.
I totally get the anxiety thing...going into my very first meeting was one of the scaries things I'd ever done. But I had to face the fear, as my life depended on it. I hope you won't let your fears stop you from saving yours. It's a killer disease.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by Beccybean
I think one of the good things in AA is that the boundaries have already been drawn very clearly, so all the help that we give and receive is of a pre-agreed nature. I went along to CoDa a few times this year though to find out more about CoDependency. They have borrowed the same meeting and steps format from AA.
I'm a teacher. I've met lots of people in the rooms social workers; lawyers; nurses; surgeons; lecturers; business owners; mothers - all of whom might have the same worry. But ultimately, it's our alcoholic behaviour, not the meeting that keeps us sober, that will lead to our public demise. I do remember feeling the same - scurrying into meetings with that sense of embarrassment. I couldn't understand how the smokers standing around outside couldn't be worried they'd get spotted. But at the end of the day, there's little scandal in someone working on their recovery. (Wish I could say the same about some of my old drunk antics :o ) As far as sharing in the rooms - I don't tend to share anything that could be too damaging to an open forum. My shares tend to be recovery focused. The more personal stuff is just between me and my sponsor - and as she's the only person I've ever, ever told most of that stuff to, then I'd soon know she'd blabbed if any of it got out. But she's been sober and sponsoring for years and years now. She's unshockable and certainly no gossip, and I trust her to keep my secrets much more than I trust my old drunk self not to keep making more of the blasted things. So, I keep going and stay sober, and in the rooms I've learned to trust and be trustworthy- which in itself is a blessing.
Good luck with your personal journey.
I'm a teacher. I've met lots of people in the rooms social workers; lawyers; nurses; surgeons; lecturers; business owners; mothers - all of whom might have the same worry. But ultimately, it's our alcoholic behaviour, not the meeting that keeps us sober, that will lead to our public demise. I do remember feeling the same - scurrying into meetings with that sense of embarrassment. I couldn't understand how the smokers standing around outside couldn't be worried they'd get spotted. But at the end of the day, there's little scandal in someone working on their recovery. (Wish I could say the same about some of my old drunk antics :o ) As far as sharing in the rooms - I don't tend to share anything that could be too damaging to an open forum. My shares tend to be recovery focused. The more personal stuff is just between me and my sponsor - and as she's the only person I've ever, ever told most of that stuff to, then I'd soon know she'd blabbed if any of it got out. But she's been sober and sponsoring for years and years now. She's unshockable and certainly no gossip, and I trust her to keep my secrets much more than I trust my old drunk self not to keep making more of the blasted things. So, I keep going and stay sober, and in the rooms I've learned to trust and be trustworthy- which in itself is a blessing.
Good luck with your personal journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by PurpleDan
I totally get the anxiety thing...going into my very first meeting was one of the scaries things I'd ever done. But I had to face the fear, as my life depended on it. I hope you won't let your fears stop you from saving yours. It's a killer disease.
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