Berrybean

I actually did it by e-mail because I'm 50% deaf (both ears) so the phone and nerves combined are a bit of a nightmare. I have hearing aids but they get feedback if something (like a phone) is held close, and hands free didn't appeal for such a personal conversation.

Hope you get on okay with contacting - did you find the number okay?

BB x

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Tenspeedblender!!

tenspeedblender

thanks everyone!

elevatorecovery

Tenspeedblender,

Thank you for sharing. I'm in sort of a similar situation except i'm 34 and spent most of my adult life stoned. It's like, is it even worth trying? Won't i just be more miserable sober? are some negative thoughts that haunt me.

Thanks Beccybean for the perspective on rock bottoms. In many ways my life is still "good" - lots of people still love me, glad to hear you (tenspeed) have friends who are calling you. i know what it's like to be miserable and not show it or want to show it... it can be awkward to say the least

Part of my struggle is i have way too high expectations for myself, i think i should be some kind of millionaire or saint, and the discouragement around that is so oppressive that I feel I would be better off taking a step back and setting smaller goals, to set myself up for success.

Finding tiny things I can do to feel good now is what I'm focusing on... that includes reading and posting on supportive forums and websites, cleaning, eating, praying and reading in the morning, finding social groups/meetups related to my interests... but only in moderation because otherwise it's like I am trying to be perfect again, and when i do it's only a matter of time before i need to binge on my substance.

Joy is the ultimate goal for me so I am practicing letting go of other goals besides those that are aligned with me actually being happy. If I can do that, then I guess I'm a winner in some way.

Thanks everyone,

Andy

least

Welcome to the family. SR helped me get sober for good. I hope we can help you do the same.

SportsFan15

I can imagine that would be difficult, especially with such a significant conversation. ....to be honest I've not decided to call yet, but am keeping it in mind. I'm the type that needs to let something simmer until my spirit says yes. I'm glad you told us about it because knowing the hotline is there provides reassurance.

SoberInCLE

Hope you are doing well. I echo those who say alcohol causes massive anxiety. It really does! Depression too. The great news is that even after a few weeks to months a lot of those symptoms improved for me.