I'm extremely anxious and nervous
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
it'll get better.... hang in there, go exercise, go for a short walk a few times a day, get some herbal tea.....
part of what's happening is your body and mind are reacting to the lack of your addictive substance... and that's elevating your sense of anxiety.
it gets better!!!
part of what's happening is your body and mind are reacting to the lack of your addictive substance... and that's elevating your sense of anxiety.
it gets better!!!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 302
Now that I am no longer taking hard classes I feel like I have some breathing room. I am mentally drained for the day by all this, but no where near as bad as I would be if I still had all of this math homework that I couldn't really piece together.
I can now start to focus on my 3 classes, which should be easier, not to mention more enjoyable and relaxing for me. One class is an art history class and the teacher is very passionate about it. Another one has a lot of reading and writing but the reading is based off of some novels, not school textbook literature. And the last one is a philosophy class.
Now that I've had some time to think, I feel like these are good choices for what I'm dealing with right now. I may also have more time to put towards myself and recovery as well. They don't set me back much on my education route either. I may have to take a couple summer courses at some point, but I should have more focus and a level attitude by then.
I thank you all here at SR once again, I'm very thankful for this forum.
I can now start to focus on my 3 classes, which should be easier, not to mention more enjoyable and relaxing for me. One class is an art history class and the teacher is very passionate about it. Another one has a lot of reading and writing but the reading is based off of some novels, not school textbook literature. And the last one is a philosophy class.
Now that I've had some time to think, I feel like these are good choices for what I'm dealing with right now. I may also have more time to put towards myself and recovery as well. They don't set me back much on my education route either. I may have to take a couple summer courses at some point, but I should have more focus and a level attitude by then.
I thank you all here at SR once again, I'm very thankful for this forum.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi soberish, you have a wonderful opportunity laying at your feet right now. Allow me to provide some context. I am exactly twice your age, and I can only wish that I had the awareness that excess drinking could actually cause problems in my life. So, being the slow learner that I am, I can only look back and dream about how much different my life would be if had I only applied myself earlier in life. I only started to get my act together in my early 30's and still didn't completely commit to living like a true adult until recently. I can't get those years back, nobody can who drinks it away. So, I applaud you for your efforts and appreciate your struggles but you can do it. Plenty of support for you here that is for sure. Keep us posted. Is the pot and alcohol something you use to control anxiety?
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 302
I'm in my mid to late twenties so I'm very close to early 30's as well. I have also wasted some years away going through what some call the "young rebellious years", but those "young rebellious years" started for me when I was just 13 years old. Not what you would typically call "young rebellious years", sounds more like "child problematic years" for me. And now that I'm getting closer to my 30's it's not "young rebellious years" anyways, its more just this problem that I've stretched out for way too long already.
What I'm trying to say is, what I've been going through is typical for some for a few years maybe around the late teens early twenties, but I am not that typical person "going through a phase". I'm a grown adult now that is trying to use drugs and build a life for myself at the same time. I need to quit trying to do both.
I repeat, I need to quit trying to do both.
When I stopped smoking and drinking years ago, I used to think that maybe I was using to cover up an underlying anxiety or depression issue. I used to really worry about this because 6 months passed and I still felt bad. I used to wonder, what came first? The chicken or the egg?
But after I stopped using for a good solid stretch of time, I was fine. No anxiety, no depression, just good old pure happiness. I am thankful that I at least know I can get back to being normal if I just give it time.
It's time for me to stop for good this time around.
What I'm trying to say is, what I've been going through is typical for some for a few years maybe around the late teens early twenties, but I am not that typical person "going through a phase". I'm a grown adult now that is trying to use drugs and build a life for myself at the same time. I need to quit trying to do both.
I repeat, I need to quit trying to do both.
When I stopped smoking and drinking years ago, I used to think that maybe I was using to cover up an underlying anxiety or depression issue. I used to really worry about this because 6 months passed and I still felt bad. I used to wonder, what came first? The chicken or the egg?
But after I stopped using for a good solid stretch of time, I was fine. No anxiety, no depression, just good old pure happiness. I am thankful that I at least know I can get back to being normal if I just give it time.
It's time for me to stop for good this time around.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I read your first post, and then saw you joined in 2012 so I'm not quite twice as old as you are currently, but close enough. I stand by my statement that you can salvage a long quality life that awaits you. Good for you in recognizing it and taking some action.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Most of our anxieties are caused by trying to control things that are not possible to control. For example, going over and over past events - whether it was something in our childhood, or something we said to someone last week. These often turn into resentments as the story gradually gets exaggerated in our head - we add in a 'he looked at me this way' here, and a 'he always does that' there. We also spend a lot of time projecting about the future. I personally have been able to convince myself that I have the power to know whole conversations that may or may not ever take place. And, if I let myself, I can get so convinced of this super-power of mine that I can even form a whole shiny new fear or resentment completely based on what I have projected that they would say or do or think IF that ever happened. Insanity maybe- but not uncommon.
Anyway - all this stuff can overcrowd our mind so there's no room left for dealing with the here and now, which actually is the only thing that at any point we CAN do anything about. This is why many of us find that meditation to get back in the moment is very useful. Anna posted something very useful yesterday with regards to this (you may have already seen it - but here it is, just in case you want to give it a go...)
' Tip for an Anxiety Attack
I came across this online today and am filing it away for future use.
A great tip to help with an anxiety attack:
-Look around you.
-Find 5 things you can See
-Find 4 things you can Touch
-Find 3 things you can Hear
-Find 2 things you can Smell
- Find 1 thing you can Taste
This is called Grounding. It can help you when you feel like you have lost all control of your surroundings.
__________________'
Mostly, I personally have learnt how to deal with all this stuff by working the 12-step program and attending meetings and listening to other alcoholics through AA. (Plus reading on here of course). I have only been sober a short while compared with many on here (just over 18 months), but can honestly say that my life has completely changed for the better thanks to AA. Before I thought AA was just about getting sober, but I soon realised that it's actually about how to Live Sober. How to recover. How to deal with resentments; fear; anxiety, etc. and find serenity and peace with myself. I'm a big fan of AA as you can probably tell (lol). But I know it's not for everyone, and I'm sure that others can and will tell you how they have learned to deal with this stuff that alcohol or drugs were a crutch for in the past.
Just keep sober. My personal opinion is that you're doing great. Starting a new course in a new place would test anyone. Let alone in the first week sober. (But maybe swimming instead of running to give your shins and joints less impact and a chance to recover a little today?
)
Take care.
Anyway - all this stuff can overcrowd our mind so there's no room left for dealing with the here and now, which actually is the only thing that at any point we CAN do anything about. This is why many of us find that meditation to get back in the moment is very useful. Anna posted something very useful yesterday with regards to this (you may have already seen it - but here it is, just in case you want to give it a go...)
' Tip for an Anxiety Attack
I came across this online today and am filing it away for future use.
A great tip to help with an anxiety attack:
-Look around you.
-Find 5 things you can See
-Find 4 things you can Touch
-Find 3 things you can Hear
-Find 2 things you can Smell
- Find 1 thing you can Taste
This is called Grounding. It can help you when you feel like you have lost all control of your surroundings.
__________________'
Mostly, I personally have learnt how to deal with all this stuff by working the 12-step program and attending meetings and listening to other alcoholics through AA. (Plus reading on here of course). I have only been sober a short while compared with many on here (just over 18 months), but can honestly say that my life has completely changed for the better thanks to AA. Before I thought AA was just about getting sober, but I soon realised that it's actually about how to Live Sober. How to recover. How to deal with resentments; fear; anxiety, etc. and find serenity and peace with myself. I'm a big fan of AA as you can probably tell (lol). But I know it's not for everyone, and I'm sure that others can and will tell you how they have learned to deal with this stuff that alcohol or drugs were a crutch for in the past.
Just keep sober. My personal opinion is that you're doing great. Starting a new course in a new place would test anyone. Let alone in the first week sober. (But maybe swimming instead of running to give your shins and joints less impact and a chance to recover a little today?
) Take care.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
"After I posted this, I immediately threw my workout gear on and ran outside my door and kept going until I couldn't any more, then I stopped and caught my breath and did it again. It really helped by my shin started to really hurt again. I don't think I can run for 2 or 3 days, but maybe I can do some other form of exercise. No pain no gain I suppose. "
The first thing I thought of when I read this part was, "Run Forest, Run". >>>grin<<<
3 days is great. I also had a lot of anxiety and fogginess my first few days, but then I noticed it slowly started to go away and I had longer periods of anxiety free time and a clearer head. For a few days, I even found it hard to concentrate on a TV program. Hang in there. Every day that goes by will get better and better. Give yourself a break. You are doing awesome!
The first thing I thought of when I read this part was, "Run Forest, Run". >>>grin<<<
3 days is great. I also had a lot of anxiety and fogginess my first few days, but then I noticed it slowly started to go away and I had longer periods of anxiety free time and a clearer head. For a few days, I even found it hard to concentrate on a TV program. Hang in there. Every day that goes by will get better and better. Give yourself a break. You are doing awesome!
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
After I posted this, I immediately threw my workout gear on and ran outside my door and kept going until I couldn't any more, then I stopped and caught my breath and did it again. It really helped by my shin started to really hurt again. I don't think I can run for 2 or 3 days, but maybe I can do some other form of exercise. No pain no gain I suppose.
I've done this more than once after drinking hard all weekend. So mad at myself it was my punishment.
I've done this more than once after drinking hard all weekend. So mad at myself it was my punishment.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 302
Beckybean, I really like your anxiety tactic, I actually tried it while I was reading through your post and it really takes the focus off of your thoughts. As for swimming, I'm not a big swimmer and its starting to get colder now so I think I may need to find something else.
Rar, I've had the problem of not being able to concentrate on a TV show or movie before, I'm glad its not that bad this time around. I used to smoke all day every day as much weed as I could. This past year and a half wasnt nearly as bad as that so I think the repercussions are a bit light than my last time. They are still bad though, I woke up feeling nervous again right now. I'm realizing that my mornings are the worst for some reason.
Rar, I've had the problem of not being able to concentrate on a TV show or movie before, I'm glad its not that bad this time around. I used to smoke all day every day as much weed as I could. This past year and a half wasnt nearly as bad as that so I think the repercussions are a bit light than my last time. They are still bad though, I woke up feeling nervous again right now. I'm realizing that my mornings are the worst for some reason.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Originally Posted by Soberish 
I've been through this before and it has taken me some time to get back to normal. I just finished reading most of the material the instructor is going to cover however I am back to feeling shakey, I almost literally can feel my hands shaking while I try to read through my material.
I'm a nervous wreck right now, but on the positive note my academic counselor got back to me about math tutoring so I will check it out. My instructor said the tutors don't specifically help with this math however, but hopefully they do. I must hope for the best.
My classmate hasn't responded to my text yet, and class is in 45 minutes so who knows. I guess I'll try and ask someone else if they can study today and check out the tutoring. I can't just roll over and let everything pass me by, I must try my best to move forward even with all this shakiness.
I like the checklist idea, it feels good to scribble things off. I'm sure the school has some student medical center but I don't think anyone can really get my mind back to normal, I think it just takes time.
Anyhow, heading to class, I'll message back later because I feel that I'm really going to need it.
I'm a nervous wreck right now, but on the positive note my academic counselor got back to me about math tutoring so I will check it out. My instructor said the tutors don't specifically help with this math however, but hopefully they do. I must hope for the best.
My classmate hasn't responded to my text yet, and class is in 45 minutes so who knows. I guess I'll try and ask someone else if they can study today and check out the tutoring. I can't just roll over and let everything pass me by, I must try my best to move forward even with all this shakiness.
I like the checklist idea, it feels good to scribble things off. I'm sure the school has some student medical center but I don't think anyone can really get my mind back to normal, I think it just takes time.
Anyhow, heading to class, I'll message back later because I feel that I'm really going to need it.
Hi..Just checking in this morning to say hi and see how you are doing...My best friend and matron of honor struggles with anxiety and panic attacks. She is HIGHLY intelligent and her mon/dad are too...well, her dad is sort of like a creative genious and was the personnel director for the state they lived in.
Anyway, she was an ICU nurse for 10 years...she is brilliant and competent, responsible and extremely creative. You should see her house. From what I have read in your posts you remind me of there...bright, competent...
You remind me of her. Extremely bright! She does get panic attacks though, and sometimes the only thing that works for her is to take a bath. She is not into working out, so she doesn't do that. She and I were roommates in college The first time she had a panic attack was when a moth got in her house and she freaked out in a very major way, so I had to go and catch the moth and get it out of there for her...that was the first time I saw a panic attack and I had so much compassion for her on that because she felt sort of embarrassed about it all. Like I say, she is extremely bright.
You can get through this...come and post as much as you need to, 'k...
Someone is always here...
Also, there are these herbal teas out there called Relaxing tea by traditional medicinals and something called Tension Tamer. You can usually find them in the health food section.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
It would probably set your mind at ease to just not worry too much about your wife. She will likely be alright and has a lot of good people to take of her, support her and help her out, and who are protective of her.. Like I say, good people who have no guile. Maybe you haven't destroyed her as much as you think. She might be worried sick about you...Yes, there has likely been some collateral damage done and if you work the steps it addresses those things.
Please take care.
Please take care.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 302
Originally Posted by teatreeoil007
Soberish!
Hi..Just checking in this morning to say hi and see how you are doing...My best friend and matron of honor struggles with anxiety and panic attacks. She is HIGHLY intelligent and her mon/dad are too...well, her dad is sort of like a creative genious and was the personnel director for the state they lived in.
Anyway, she was an ICU nurse for 10 years...she is brilliant and competent, responsible and extremely creative. You should see her house. From what I have read in your posts you remind me of there...bright, competent...
You remind me of her. Extremely bright! She does get panic attacks though, and sometimes the only thing that works for her is to take a bath. She is not into working out, so she doesn't do that. She and I were roommates in college The first time she had a panic attack was when a moth got in her house and she freaked out in a very major way, so I had to go and catch the moth and get it out of there for her...that was the first time I saw a panic attack and I had so much compassion for her on that because she felt sort of embarrassed about it all. Like I say, she is extremely bright.
You can get through this...come and post as much as you need to, 'k...
Someone is always here...
Also, there are these herbal teas out there called Relaxing tea by traditional medicinals and something called Tension Tamer. You can usually find them in the health food section.
Hi..Just checking in this morning to say hi and see how you are doing...My best friend and matron of honor struggles with anxiety and panic attacks. She is HIGHLY intelligent and her mon/dad are too...well, her dad is sort of like a creative genious and was the personnel director for the state they lived in.
Anyway, she was an ICU nurse for 10 years...she is brilliant and competent, responsible and extremely creative. You should see her house. From what I have read in your posts you remind me of there...bright, competent...
You remind me of her. Extremely bright! She does get panic attacks though, and sometimes the only thing that works for her is to take a bath. She is not into working out, so she doesn't do that. She and I were roommates in college The first time she had a panic attack was when a moth got in her house and she freaked out in a very major way, so I had to go and catch the moth and get it out of there for her...that was the first time I saw a panic attack and I had so much compassion for her on that because she felt sort of embarrassed about it all. Like I say, she is extremely bright.
You can get through this...come and post as much as you need to, 'k...
Someone is always here...
Also, there are these herbal teas out there called Relaxing tea by traditional medicinals and something called Tension Tamer. You can usually find them in the health food section.
That's very kind of you to say that I remind you of your best friend. She sounds like a nice and caring person, I think you have to be when you are a nurse.
I'm doing OK today now that I took some action to relieve myself of a schedule that was too stressful. I'm still not 100 percent though because I still woke up with that awful feeling in my gut, and not to mention I was somewhat worrying off and on today about how stressful my next quarter was going to be. I shouldn't worry about something so far ahead I know, I kept having to change my train of thought away from that.
I'll have to give those teas a try. Do you find them to work for their intended purpose of relaxation?
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Originally Posted by Soberish
I've been through this before and it has taken me some time to get back to normal. I just finished reading most of the material the instructor is going to cover however I am back to feeling shakey, I almost literally can feel my hands shaking while I try to read through my material.
I'm a nervous wreck right now, but on the positive note my academic counselor got back to me about math tutoring so I will check it out. My instructor said the tutors don't specifically help with this math however, but hopefully they do. I must hope for the best.
My classmate hasn't responded to my text yet, and class is in 45 minutes so who knows. I guess I'll try and ask someone else if they can study today and check out the tutoring. I can't just roll over and let everything pass me by, I must try my best to move forward even with all this shakiness.
I like the checklist idea, it feels good to scribble things off. I'm sure the school has some student medical center but I don't think anyone can really get my mind back to normal, I think it just takes time.
Anyhow, heading to class, I'll message back later because I feel that I'm really going to need it.
I'm a nervous wreck right now, but on the positive note my academic counselor got back to me about math tutoring so I will check it out. My instructor said the tutors don't specifically help with this math however, but hopefully they do. I must hope for the best.
My classmate hasn't responded to my text yet, and class is in 45 minutes so who knows. I guess I'll try and ask someone else if they can study today and check out the tutoring. I can't just roll over and let everything pass me by, I must try my best to move forward even with all this shakiness.
I like the checklist idea, it feels good to scribble things off. I'm sure the school has some student medical center but I don't think anyone can really get my mind back to normal, I think it just takes time.
Anyhow, heading to class, I'll message back later because I feel that I'm really going to need it.
We've got your back....
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Hey Soberish! Worrying about next quarter is not on your priority checklist. Work the list, your gonna do fine. !
Also, I wouldnt take it personal if someone doesn't want to be in a study group. In college I did better on my own, some people are just like that.
Also, I wouldnt take it personal if someone doesn't want to be in a study group. In college I did better on my own, some people are just like that.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Originally Posted by Soberish
That's very kind of you to say that I remind you of your best friend. She sounds like a nice and caring person, I think you have to be when you are a nurse.
I'm doing OK today now that I took some action to relieve myself of a schedule that was too stressful. I'm still not 100 percent though because I still woke up with that awful feeling in my gut, and not to mention I was somewhat worrying off and on today about how stressful my next quarter was going to be. I shouldn't worry about something so far ahead I know, I kept having to change my train of thought away from that.
I'll have to give those teas a try. Do you find them to work for their intended purpose of relaxation?
My friend Susan is just amazing...so creative...she is very happy in her new job now; never been happier, in fact, which nice to see her take that kind of turn at this stage of her life!
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
From Soberish: I'll have to give those teas a try. Do you find them to work for their intended purpose of relaxation?
Yes - I drink the Tension Tamer teas. I don't drink it as often anymore, but for me they work well, particularly in my early days of sobriety.
Yes - I drink the Tension Tamer teas. I don't drink it as often anymore, but for me they work well, particularly in my early days of sobriety.
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Posts: 302
I realize projecting too far ahead is bad. I just have this thought that comes into my mind about where I will stand for the next quarter. Will my mind be clear enough to get through the tougher classes? It doesn't matter at this point I know, I just feel I need to take every step possible before that time comes to make sure I can do it next quarter.
I'm due for a store run sometime this weekend so I plan to pick some up some tea.
On another note, I've been meaning to reflect on all the positives that have fallen into place, because I think they outweigh all the negatives I've been dealing with, so here goes:
-I finally made it to a great school directly because of all my persistent efforts to get good grades.
-I finally got out of my mothers house and am living on my own, also directly because of my strive to get to a good college with a great financial aid program.
-I have given up drinking and smoking with a solid 8 days now, something I have not done in about 2 years.
-I have managed to somehow pull myself together to get through the first two weeks of school and a new environment even though I don't feel 100% and constantly question whether I even belong in this school.
-I took action to relieve myself of a schedule that would have been twice as hard as it should be with all this brain fog I'm dealing with.
-I've figured out how to get to my campus and classes without GPS or a map
-Today I received two $500 scholarships for no given reason at all other than I am being congratulated/rewarded for my high GPA and projected future success at my new campus (this was a huge shocker that I found out when I checked my email today)
-And lastly, my emotional stability has already come a long way since I titled this thread 5 days ago
These are all great things and I believe they do outweigh all the negatives, but I still don't feel as good about them as I should. I wrote some more stuff down here but it was just going in the negative direction so I erased it because this is supposed to be a positive reflection.
Thanks again SR, you have all been a great foundation for me during my rough patches.
I'm due for a store run sometime this weekend so I plan to pick some up some tea.
On another note, I've been meaning to reflect on all the positives that have fallen into place, because I think they outweigh all the negatives I've been dealing with, so here goes:
-I finally made it to a great school directly because of all my persistent efforts to get good grades.
-I finally got out of my mothers house and am living on my own, also directly because of my strive to get to a good college with a great financial aid program.
-I have given up drinking and smoking with a solid 8 days now, something I have not done in about 2 years.
-I have managed to somehow pull myself together to get through the first two weeks of school and a new environment even though I don't feel 100% and constantly question whether I even belong in this school.
-I took action to relieve myself of a schedule that would have been twice as hard as it should be with all this brain fog I'm dealing with.
-I've figured out how to get to my campus and classes without GPS or a map
-Today I received two $500 scholarships for no given reason at all other than I am being congratulated/rewarded for my high GPA and projected future success at my new campus (this was a huge shocker that I found out when I checked my email today)
-And lastly, my emotional stability has already come a long way since I titled this thread 5 days ago
These are all great things and I believe they do outweigh all the negatives, but I still don't feel as good about them as I should. I wrote some more stuff down here but it was just going in the negative direction so I erased it because this is supposed to be a positive reflection.
Thanks again SR, you have all been a great foundation for me during my rough patches.
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