My doctor says I'm schizophrenic lol
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: united states
Posts: 44
Originally Posted by dunkelheit 
I'm having trouble following replies on here. I'm reading them, and it helps.
I've pretty much been in bed for the past 3 days. Just no reason to get up, except to buy smokes. This is probably the worst depression I've ever had. I feel as though someone died, but it's myself.
I've pretty much been in bed for the past 3 days. Just no reason to get up, except to buy smokes. This is probably the worst depression I've ever had. I feel as though someone died, but it's myself.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: united states
Posts: 44
my mom came over today because i was so depressed and she made me start taking my lexapro again.. i've been on, prozac, cymbalta, seroquel, zyprexa, latuda, not all at once but all at some point or another this year. i hated taking my pills because i just didn't like the concept of being "fake-happy," i wanted to feel happy without having to take anything. yet oddly enough i had no problem drowning myself in alcohol and illegal drugs.
i think what i hated most is if i forgot to take them one morning before work or at night before i fell asleep i would just feel HORRIBLE, ten times worse than anything else and then i would turn to alcohol and it would just turn me into a nutjob. it makes me scared taking anything again but i'm hoping it keeps me off the drinking for at least a week, that's my goal, just make it one week. make it thru one weekend alcohol-free and go from there.
i think what i hated most is if i forgot to take them one morning before work or at night before i fell asleep i would just feel HORRIBLE, ten times worse than anything else and then i would turn to alcohol and it would just turn me into a nutjob. it makes me scared taking anything again but i'm hoping it keeps me off the drinking for at least a week, that's my goal, just make it one week. make it thru one weekend alcohol-free and go from there.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
That would be a great start, tenspeed, alcohol only makes everything worse. I don't think you're the only person who has resisted taking medication in the past but been okay with 'recreational drugs'. Good start and welcome to SR :-)
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
dunkelheit, your last post sounds very similar to where I was about one year ago... I was just so exhausted from fighting, but I never gave up.
The lack of sleep causes havoc on our brains... my voices even ran through my head when I tried to sleep it was horrible. Someone said psychosis can be caused by lack of sleep... this is true and it can be caused by substance abuse including alcohol, stress, depression and abruptly stopping some medications. That is what the doctors thought I had... but it was schizophrenia, bipolar and depression.. there could have been some psychosis as well.
It took my doctors along time to get my diagnosis right. When the one doctor did, I was prescribed the right medication after a couple of different ones.
When my family would watch TV, I would pretend to watch it, but just looked at it and stared and never got the story line or what was going on at all.
Depression and my other illnesses made me like you are today, just wanting to hid in bed... not sleeping. The only thing that made me sleep was a sleeping pill and it was a great relief because the voices would stop and it seemed SO peaceful. I only got one per week... doctors don't like to prescribe them when people are depressed, or so I am told.
Now, I just take one medicine for depression, sleep, anxiety and to make sure the voices don't come back, no more sleeping pills or no over the counter sleeping aid. I don't have any voices anymore, something I never thought I would have again come back and that is peace in my brain. Quietness... I love stillness and no noise, I don't even listen to music or news in my vehicle or at home anymore... because I just like quiet.
You will have this same thing dunkelheit... peace, one of the most beautiful things a person with voices in there head can every have back. I NEVER take this for granted anymore and NEVER want to pick up a drink again. I LOVE working on my recovery each and every day... it takes time, but enjoy the progress. Little steps as I say, even washing a few dishes what like the end of the world for me, now it just come natural to just do them. Only a select few people will really understand that sentence. :-) Many people just don't understand the severity of mental illness... and how debilitating it can be.
I have three children and the days were horrible. I wanted it to be night time first thing is the morning. That is how bad my life was. I didn't even cry, the pain seems so bad. But, yet I never gave up.
Now, I am SO excited to wake up and start my drama-free, peaceful days. I SO what this for you dunkelheit... I am truly emphatic and my heart hurts for you and anyone else that is going through this illness or any other illness. There is something to be said for... "you will never know how important your health is until you don't have it anymore. "
I just want you to believe in yourself and that recovery does happen to those that keep hope and follow the medication schedule and give it time to work. This means no alcohol while you are taking it. If it doesn't work, don't quit abruptly go back to the doctor first and make the decision together as to what the next step is.
Even after you take the medication it sometimes takes awhile to work... this last medication took a full 8 weeks to work... and I knew instantly it was the right one for me. Only after that I did get my motivation and the real Candace back.
I have been thinking of you... and hoping you are getting through the night and the day. Stay close to SR... there are so many people that truly care about you. I am one of them.
The lack of sleep causes havoc on our brains... my voices even ran through my head when I tried to sleep it was horrible. Someone said psychosis can be caused by lack of sleep... this is true and it can be caused by substance abuse including alcohol, stress, depression and abruptly stopping some medications. That is what the doctors thought I had... but it was schizophrenia, bipolar and depression.. there could have been some psychosis as well.
It took my doctors along time to get my diagnosis right. When the one doctor did, I was prescribed the right medication after a couple of different ones.
When my family would watch TV, I would pretend to watch it, but just looked at it and stared and never got the story line or what was going on at all.
Depression and my other illnesses made me like you are today, just wanting to hid in bed... not sleeping. The only thing that made me sleep was a sleeping pill and it was a great relief because the voices would stop and it seemed SO peaceful. I only got one per week... doctors don't like to prescribe them when people are depressed, or so I am told.
Now, I just take one medicine for depression, sleep, anxiety and to make sure the voices don't come back, no more sleeping pills or no over the counter sleeping aid. I don't have any voices anymore, something I never thought I would have again come back and that is peace in my brain. Quietness... I love stillness and no noise, I don't even listen to music or news in my vehicle or at home anymore... because I just like quiet.
You will have this same thing dunkelheit... peace, one of the most beautiful things a person with voices in there head can every have back. I NEVER take this for granted anymore and NEVER want to pick up a drink again. I LOVE working on my recovery each and every day... it takes time, but enjoy the progress. Little steps as I say, even washing a few dishes what like the end of the world for me, now it just come natural to just do them. Only a select few people will really understand that sentence. :-) Many people just don't understand the severity of mental illness... and how debilitating it can be.
I have three children and the days were horrible. I wanted it to be night time first thing is the morning. That is how bad my life was. I didn't even cry, the pain seems so bad. But, yet I never gave up.
Now, I am SO excited to wake up and start my drama-free, peaceful days. I SO what this for you dunkelheit... I am truly emphatic and my heart hurts for you and anyone else that is going through this illness or any other illness. There is something to be said for... "you will never know how important your health is until you don't have it anymore. "
I just want you to believe in yourself and that recovery does happen to those that keep hope and follow the medication schedule and give it time to work. This means no alcohol while you are taking it. If it doesn't work, don't quit abruptly go back to the doctor first and make the decision together as to what the next step is.
Even after you take the medication it sometimes takes awhile to work... this last medication took a full 8 weeks to work... and I knew instantly it was the right one for me. Only after that I did get my motivation and the real Candace back.
I have been thinking of you... and hoping you are getting through the night and the day. Stay close to SR... there are so many people that truly care about you. I am one of them.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Originally Posted by dunkelheit
I'm having trouble following replies on here. I'm reading them, and it helps.
I've pretty much been in bed for the past 3 days. Just no reason to get up, except to buy smokes. This is probably the worst depression I've ever had. I feel as though someone died, but it's myself.
I've pretty much been in bed for the past 3 days. Just no reason to get up, except to buy smokes. This is probably the worst depression I've ever had. I feel as though someone died, but it's myself.
As long as reading the replies helps, that's the main thing.
By sharing and writing how you feel, it helps others as well as yourself.
I hope you're having a better day Hun , keep posting
Xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey Dunkel
I take Seroquil for sleep (50mg a night). When I'm in the midst of a PTSD episode (which can have a lot of the symptoms you describe...dissociation, hallucinations, flashbacks) I take a much a higher dose. There is a time release type that one takes at night in order to have a more gradual release throughout the day. I guarantee, you'll sleep. Like any drug it is not without it's side effects but it is well worth it. Don't know if that's what your dr will prescribe but if so give it a try. Severe sleep deprivation can cause all kinds of huge issues. Hang in there.
I take Seroquil for sleep (50mg a night). When I'm in the midst of a PTSD episode (which can have a lot of the symptoms you describe...dissociation, hallucinations, flashbacks) I take a much a higher dose. There is a time release type that one takes at night in order to have a more gradual release throughout the day. I guarantee, you'll sleep. Like any drug it is not without it's side effects but it is well worth it. Don't know if that's what your dr will prescribe but if so give it a try. Severe sleep deprivation can cause all kinds of huge issues. Hang in there.
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