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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 2
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First time poster and literally terrified that if i start a thread, it means I have a problem. Probably a sign. I tried to quit after a rough weekend of college football games and pre-game, post-game and post-post-game drinks. It ended with me waking up with me confused, AGAIN, my stuff all over my apartment and me trying to regroup and figure out my life.
I lasted a whole 4 days before I gave in, went to the bar and still have half a beer left. I know that at least 4 people know I have a problem, but I have not told anyone.
I want a change but I have no idea how to tell my wife-to-be, or my family. I almost feel guilty because I have been given so much in life, but still manage to risk everything for my best friend Jack Daniels.
I have told my family about cancer that was trying to kill me that I knew I would beat, but I still have no idea how to bring up this disease that is trying to do the same.
I lasted a whole 4 days before I gave in, went to the bar and still have half a beer left. I know that at least 4 people know I have a problem, but I have not told anyone.
I want a change but I have no idea how to tell my wife-to-be, or my family. I almost feel guilty because I have been given so much in life, but still manage to risk everything for my best friend Jack Daniels.
I have told my family about cancer that was trying to kill me that I knew I would beat, but I still have no idea how to bring up this disease that is trying to do the same.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi Ofre 
First thing to do is breathe
This is a great community, full of support and good ideas.
My suggestion is to focus on the not drinking part first...all the other stuff, telling your loved ones...that can wait a little longer, if you like - don;t let that be an obstacle to change
D
First thing to do is breathe
This is a great community, full of support and good ideas.
My suggestion is to focus on the not drinking part first...all the other stuff, telling your loved ones...that can wait a little longer, if you like - don;t let that be an obstacle to change
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 223
Welcome to SR! You've taken a step posting here, maybe this is a place to start talking about it, since telling family is scary and difficult. It took a long time for me to talk openly with my family and admit I had a problem. As you distance yourself from the alcohol it gets easier to talk about.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi Ofre09.
Welcome to the Sober Recovery site - you will get lots of support and advice on here if you decide to stick around and work on getting sober.
You sound like you've still got some denial going on there about whether or not you're an alcoholic, even though you know your drinking is problematic. I'd suggest having a crack at the questions on here... Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You? Twelve questions only you can answer. Many people obsess about the numbers of drinks consumed, or number of weeks (thinking only people who drink daily can be alcoholic). It's more about the impact that alcohol has on us and our lives, and the fact that we tend to 'use' alcohol like a drug that offers relief and changes how we feel (about ourselves; others; and our lives), rather than enjoy it as a beverage like your average normie might.
I wouldn't let obsessing about how to / whether to tell people about your problem distract you from the bigger issue, which is deciding and learning how to get sober and stay sober. Once you are more secure about stuff in your own mind, and can reassure them that you're ready to take certain steps to deal with the issue, and what some of those might be; then you can talk to them.
There are some great threads on the board about developing your own sobriety plan. There are 'slippery people' and 'slippery places' as well as 'slippery times' for all of us (and those are personal to us). Your sobriety plan, if you choose to give waving goodbye to your false friend JD, should look at those slippery things - a bit like a risk assessment - and consider all the things that you can put in place to prevent a slip. Some of these things might be big (detox centres etc) some might be small (taking an alternate route so you don't walk past, or go in, your favourite pub).
Welcome to the Sober Recovery site - you will get lots of support and advice on here if you decide to stick around and work on getting sober.
You sound like you've still got some denial going on there about whether or not you're an alcoholic, even though you know your drinking is problematic. I'd suggest having a crack at the questions on here... Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You? Twelve questions only you can answer. Many people obsess about the numbers of drinks consumed, or number of weeks (thinking only people who drink daily can be alcoholic). It's more about the impact that alcohol has on us and our lives, and the fact that we tend to 'use' alcohol like a drug that offers relief and changes how we feel (about ourselves; others; and our lives), rather than enjoy it as a beverage like your average normie might.
I wouldn't let obsessing about how to / whether to tell people about your problem distract you from the bigger issue, which is deciding and learning how to get sober and stay sober. Once you are more secure about stuff in your own mind, and can reassure them that you're ready to take certain steps to deal with the issue, and what some of those might be; then you can talk to them.
There are some great threads on the board about developing your own sobriety plan. There are 'slippery people' and 'slippery places' as well as 'slippery times' for all of us (and those are personal to us). Your sobriety plan, if you choose to give waving goodbye to your false friend JD, should look at those slippery things - a bit like a risk assessment - and consider all the things that you can put in place to prevent a slip. Some of these things might be big (detox centres etc) some might be small (taking an alternate route so you don't walk past, or go in, your favourite pub).
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,578
Hi Ofre -- welcome and congratulations on taking the step of posting. You'll find lots of support here.
I agree with the others ... the first step is focusing on your plan, what steps you'll take and changes you'll make to support your sobriety.
I too worried about how and when to tell the important people in my life. That all worked itself out with time.
Welcome, and I hope you keep posting!
I agree with the others ... the first step is focusing on your plan, what steps you'll take and changes you'll make to support your sobriety.
I too worried about how and when to tell the important people in my life. That all worked itself out with time.
Welcome, and I hope you keep posting!
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