dunkelheit

I tried to get into the US again because I wanted to buy a plane ticket to California...well I'm not allowed into the country. I became suspicious the last time I went on a trial run to New York state because the border guard told me the secondary search was non-random.

I have no criminal record, no charges were ever laid against me, but I was arrested many times for what I've done as a result of my mental disorder.

I feel like such trash right now. My semi-socialist country doesn't want to provide resources to help me, and the US considers me a security risk. Not only did I lose my dream job, but now I can't even travel to conferences related to my field if they take place in the US. Why did I even bother with university if I'm just going to end up on disability anyway?

sva777

Well if you have no record they should let you in, right? Could you check with your embassy about what the problem is and how you can fix it? Maybe you do have a record and just don't realize it. Mistakes do happen so try and fix it.

Good luck

Anna

It looks like you're from Canada, as I am. What kind of resources do you need that you can't get? Are you talking about health or mental health resources?

What reason do the customs people give you when they don't allow you to cross the border?

dunkelheit

Canadian and American law enforcement have an agreement regarding sharing police records. You're guilty until proven innocent if trying to cross the border. All I want to do is go to a conference, and come right back home.

TroyW

Is that law in place that still allows US border guards the right you ban you for 5 years at their own discretion, with no chance of appeal?

I know it was in place years ago, but unsure if it still is.

Dee74

are you still living in the woods dunkleheit?

D

dunkelheit

I've just been brushed off as an incurable case for the past 12 years. There's one program in place at CAMH that has been recommended to me by several doctors, however that would mean devoting all my time and energy into the therapy for 1 year.

They won't let me through because I'm unstable. I was arrested a few weeks ago for assaulting my ex and police officers. I highly doubt I can get a doctor to vouch for me within a couple weeks, considering my history. I wasted so much money already even trying. Screw it all.

dunkelheit

For now. What does that have to do with anything?

dunkelheit

I believe this rule is still in effect. It was a concern of mine while I was researching border crossing.

I can get into any country. I've been to South America, and Cuba within the past year and a half, but the US is another story.

Anna

What I hear from you is that there is a program( and CAMH is excellent), but that you don't want to invest the time and energy that the program would expect.

And, it's not surprising that there are consequences for assaulting your ex girlfriend and police officers. Maybe it's time to give the CAMH program a chance.

ScottFromWI

I think you have some issues far more important than going to a conference Dunkel. Have you stopped drinking yet?

dunkelheit

I'm a hetero female. The CAMH program has a long waitlist. After all, 25-50% of the people in prison have my problem. I'm predisposed to violent crimes. You guys don't want me in your society. I'm either in the hospital, prison, or dead.

dunkelheit

I don't even know why I'm here, or why I still care about life.

Jtf7

I hope you gett he help you need. You are lucky that you are a woman, because if you were male with the issues you face, you would probably be incarcerated.

By the way, what field are you in that requires you to travel so much?

dunkelheit

True. I specialized in bat research. I spent the past year and a half studying bats. I've held them in hand. I've had a bat tattoo since 2010. Bats were my dream. I messed up.

Dee74

Honestly? going to conferences, crossing international borders, and living in the woods seems like a major type of dissonance to me.

Like Scott said I really feel you have more pressing problems than this conference issue.

I'm not trying to annoy you or pick a fight.
I'm genuinely concerned for you.

D

dunkelheit

I grew up here, in the forest. I left because the loneliness is crushing out here. If I hear a human voice at all in a day, that is more than what I experience most days, which is why I leave the tv on 24/7.

My lives are dissonance, constantly. I'm living two lives, and one is dying. In the death throes of my career right now.

Mags1

Hi dunkelheit, we've got bats in the 'closed down pub' across the road. They're very much protected here. You can't get rid of them if you get them in your lofts or outer houses. (Which is good because a lot of townies come to villages then dislike what it brings).

Sounds a very interesting pursuit to study, dunkelheit.

I hope you can find some peace so as to pursue your dream.

Ruby2

I don't know how old you are but really, a year out of your life to do the CAMH program is a drop in the bucket and at the end, you can resume your career. If you don't do the program you lose your career. It's an investment in yourself. Why not get on the waiting list?

Jtf7

I actually also have a bat tattoo, what a coincidence.

Are you on medication?