Needing day one.
 

I'm needing support from a friend and I think this team likely has that friend power (please...I need support). Thank you so much for reading and considering your thoughts.

My short story is that alcohol does in fact impact my life negatively. I can stop the quantity that I drink. I just can't stop going for the drink. I have never blacked out to my knowledge and I have never thrown up from drinking. It has not impacted my work/life to this point. As I went to AA meetings this month and read the big book, I definitely see that the large audience of alcoholics is/was facing a different challenge than I am. At least my experience doesn't fall in line closely with their experience.

I lust for that very relaxed feeling that is found after 3 drinks. Usually I take that to six drinks, no more than 8 drinks. This is very clear to me that it is affecting my daily life. How do I grab ahold of myself and stop? I made it a week dry and after learning more about alcoholism through AA and the big book, I felt maybe I was not an alcoholic. I was actually extremely confident on day 7. Then, I take the dive again (drink) and I'm back in the same lost cycle of drinking every day.

I can tell you this. I felt good. Really good on day 7 without alcohol. Where do I fall? Are there folks facing my challenge? How should I pull myself up and beat this?

Hi :)

I was the same at AA meetings; some of the stories were horrifying and I'd think, well, I never got drunk and stole a bus and ended up in a police cell. I just had a few drinks and watched TV.

The fact is though, that I couldn't go more than two days without drinking. I'm an alcoholic. I spent at least £300 a month on booze, I lost jobs, I alienated my family etc.

Your story doesn't have to match the stories of others. If alcohol is a problem for you, then the best thing to do is to stop before it gets worse.

Welcome to SR :D

PS I've just remembered, I did actually get drunk and steal a JCB digger in Germany once. Bad idea.

Welcome to SR MyNewStart!

I agree with Carver. It is how the Alcohol effects you, no matter how much you drink.

Alcoholism is not a state it is a continuum. We all have exactly the same problem the only difference is where in the progession we find ourself. The bum living under the bridge is no more an alcoholic than the church lady who drinks a little too much wine a little to often

At the begining is a strugle to accept you are an alcoholic...
But once you accept it is easier.
You know you can not have one... cos starts the cycle!!!
All over again the suffering, the do it do not do it...... on and on!

It gets easier and is actualy true.
Start making changes in your rutine.
Avoid situations at the begining.
Once you are over the fence you realize is possible to live sober!

You might fall but you learn fron it!
And you get used to drink soft drinks and at the end it does not bother you.

You can do it...
Come to SR and we all will help you.
Any time you are destressed... shout it out on internet we understan what you go through...
So the best is keep away .... joing gym... clubs....sports...art....
Anything that keeps you occupied.

There is a bettter life be strong and you will over the fence...
If you can have a better life... why don't you!
Free yourself... is posible!!!

Big hug XO

The only way to stay sober is to believe that you can't drink. At least for me, it's hard enough not to drink and I know that I am an alcoholic. If I believed that I could responsibly drink, I wouldn't make it more than a few days. This is a forum for alcoholic and addicts. You must know that you won't get many replies stating that it's possible to responsibly drink.

I'm the exact same type of drinker you are. For me it was a good 15 year progression. No dui, lost job, people I have told were surprised, and some didn't think I had a problem. My awakening, if you will, was when I couldn't take a day or two off when I usually was able to abstain. The way I look at it is I drank just about every night and woke up usually with some type of hangover... Sometimes pretty mild and sometimes a whole day one. But I have a problem and it needs addressing. The fact that I'm on day 19 and I still think about drinking also tells me I have a problem. Better for you to address the issue now than wait until it gets worse

Posting here every day helped me get a handle on my problem MyNewStart. Read around and get some ideas on the plans others are using :)

D

Right there with ya. Drank heavily for 10 years, Im on day 12 and im feeling a LOT better... I am slowly coming to the realization that I cant just have one. After one its spiral dragon. lol

stay tough.

Dru -

I drank like you did/do for a long time. Every night I'd have three beers. Maybe more on the weekend. But 3. That went on for about 3 years. Then I increased my drinking. More and more, on and on. My anxiety increased. I started having panic attacks and my world shrank until I sat at home drinking when I wasn't working.

I never got a DUI. I've never been arrested. But I was killing myself with my consumption. You may not identify with all of what you read or hear in AA, but look at what you have in common, not what you don't. You can't go without and when you do go without, you think about drinking. MIR is right, it's a continuum, not a state. If you continue, it will likely get worse. Is that something you want to risk? None of us needs alcohol to survive in the way we need food and water. Read around for tips and to find someone you can identify with.

One day at a time worked for me in the beginning, make it to bedtime and that's another day chalked off.

Plan new activities, if you want to feel relaxed then find other alternatives that do that, take alcohol off the table and create a lifestyle without it!!

You can do this!! :)

Having a plan is a must in my book bud

Oh! To me that sounds like you drink a lot!
At the end of my drinking it was one bottle of wine a week, at the height of my drinking it was 3-5 bottles of wine a week.
No DUI, no jail, my business is really good, I get good grades at university, finances are fine.....
But I have a serious alcohol problem, I've been trying for 10 months to string 30 days together sober- no success.
Its only one bottle a week, sometimes one bottle over two weeks, but its the fact that I can't stop.
I know I'll end up in a very bad place if I don't stay away from alcohol

I'm glad you posted here for support.

Don't worry too much about the term alcoholic. You said alcohol negatively affects your life and that says it all. You can do this. Make a plan to stop drinking and how you will work on your recovery and we're here to support you.

We cannot define our own problems based on how we view others.

By posting here it is a real concern of yours. And it should be. As Ruby said, and others, it never gets better or easier the longer you continue to drink. If you are having trouble stopping for just a week or more, then you should seriously consider giving it up completely. Many people continue to drink more and more without even realizing it. Then one day they wake and it occurs to them they drink twice what they did a year ago. And the longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes.
It happens.

Do you have faith in God or your Higher Power?

For me that was a big part of stopping and staying stopped.

Hi MyNewStart -- I can relate, my drinking was a lot like yours. I also was confused in AA because I heard stories that seemed so much worse than mine. But I stuck with it anyway, because I did feel better sober, and I wanted to stay sober. As time goes on, I focus less on the differences with other AA members and more on the similarities. It's clear to me now that I do have the same problem, and that it's a continuum .... if I were to keep drinking, I'm convinced I would start to experience the more serious problems I hear about in AA. I look on this as my chance to get out, before more painful and damaging things happen.

That voice that you hear on day 7 that tells you that you can moderate.... That's the voice that leads us all into the same vicious cycle over and over. It's a big evil lie.

You'll find lots of support here. Glad you are posting.

It sounds to me that what was missing was the the acceptance that you are an alcoholic. Sometimes when we listen to the horror stories its important to listen for the similarities more than the differences. Where there ended up was different to you - but the reasons for heading there would, more than likely, be pretty much the same. Our AV's work pretty hard to convince us that we're fine to carry on drinking. I struggled to learn which was my own thoughts and what was the AV talking to me - until I realised that pretty much any time anything came through my head that suggested taking a drink - THAT was the AV.

It might also be worth trying different meetings where you may have more in common with the people there. (There are lots of meetings held in one hall in Cambridge - the difference between the different meetings are vast. Both in people who attend, and the health of the sobriety in the room for the meetings.)

Good luck :)