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Hi all, I'm back again after about a month or so.

I had planned to quit smoking pot which led to me attempting to quit drinking as well. Everything was good for about a week maybe and then I went to a concert that I had tickets for for a couple of months. Looking back, I should have just not went to that concert but if I relapsed there then I probably would have relapsed some other time. This just led to me going back to my old habits which is why I havent posted here since then.

As I mentioned before, I wanted to quit again because I was going to be transferring schools and moving to a new area. Well it didn't happen so here I am in a new place and as soon as I moved I started to feel that mild depressed feeling. Fast forward through my first 5 days and it got worse. The classes I started were pretty difficult and they go by way faster than my last school. I couldn't concentrate very well, hell it was hard enough trying to find my classes on a large campus let alone be able to do the material.

The downward spiral continued and before I knew it I was already behind in my classes. Every time I would sit down to study, I couldnt because my mind was racing about all my other worries and I just couldnt get anything done. I literally wanted to cry, and still do at times. I talked to my academic counselor about switching one of my courses to an easier one and she said that was a good idea for my first quarter, so thats what I did. This gave me a little relief but I'm still struggling to cope with everything.

I probably don't have much time to be posting here on the forums but I dont have many people to talk to out here about what I'm going through. Sure I've called my mom up and my girlfriend too but they can only help so much because they don't have addictive tendencies. I'm just looking for some support here from you guys.

I have started to taper off of the weed by only taking a hit a day which has helped. My mom told me to start working out because she knows it helps me, so I went for a run outside yesterday.

Please anybody who has been through moving to a new place, starting a new school, or just quitting using, please give me some support here. I just woke up and I was completely sweaty, and I've been through this before but now I'm also in a different environment on top of that. I feel completely "shell shocked" and I need to know I am not alone.

Thank you for reading and I may not be able to post back until later today.

Yes, I moved to a new school/city and I can tell you at first it really increases the sense of loneliness/depresssion/isolation. I would definitely follow the recommendations to start exercising and get involved in some type of activity. This way you can meet new people and focus on something positive. Set a goal for the day or week and try to stick to it.

Here's some useful links http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

Building a plan to stay clean or sober is a must in my book

Your school should have some form of help, counseling perhaps, for substance abuse.

I made a major geographical move in my first week of recovery, and it worked really well for me.

If you are motivated you will be able to do this. And, as someone suggested, try your school counsellor as a help.

I moved around about every three years growing up due to my dad's occupation.

Definitely difficult, but you can get clean and sober even when faced with obstacles.

I can pretty much guarantee that everyone here at SR has faced their own obstacles and demons. I know I have and drinking only fueled those fires.

You've got to dig deep and come up with a plan. Figure out what you want out of your tomorrow and start building the platform today. Not drinking will ease your anxiety over time and allow you to focus on what you want to accomplish.

Lean on us as much as you need.

Hi Soberish

Yes I know how you're feeling. Not caused by the same exact circumstances, but that feeling that you're just barely above water and there's no one there to pull you out but you. I don't know your back story, are you an alcoholic? If so, well, you've probably read that continuing to drink will definitely make matters worse. I would think there are on campus recovery groups, support groups etc. You could meet like minded students and maybe get some support focusing on your studies as well. I know at the UC I went to they had a student health center that had all kinds of low cost to no cost support...therapy as well as medical drs etc. I would really reach out to whatever is available on campus.

Soberish,

Welcome back.

Have you looked into any sober student groups on campus? Some schools have them now - counselor would be a good place to inquire as would probably any NA or AA meeting in a college town.

The groups I am referring to function as an extension of NA /AA plus they organize sober social activities (rare in a college town!).

Be strong,

Jim

I don't think you'll find a lot of people here who advocate tapering. It makes it pretty hard to finally cut the cord.

Many years ago, I found that moving away from my home town had the (at the time) unintended effect of getting me to stop smoking pot because I lost all of my pot network and suppliers.

I don't know if you're in a place where it's legal, or if you're of legal age, but if you don't hang with other smokers and don't have a local supplier, it's a lot easier to avoid. Just don't go looking for it again.

On the other hand, I'm in no position to diagnose, but it sounds like you might want to talk to someone about anxiety (especially a psychiatrist) instead of trying to treat it yourself with pot.

Instead of viewing the change of scenery as a bad thing, try to embrace the good parts about it. You have a fresh start. Good luck!

Welcome back Soberish!! :)

Hang in there. It's better to deal with stuff not hungover. Might be tough but with a pounding head and fuzziness it's tougher. So hang in there.

Thank you all very much. Yesterday turned out to not be as bad as I thought it would, the morning (when I posted) ended up being the worst of my day. I didn't smoke any pot or drink any alcohol at all, so I've officially got 1 day under my belt and I hope to make today day 2.

It's weird because yesterday ended up being my best day out here, I believe partly because I worked out (which I haven't done in a few weeks) and because I posted here. Like I said I dont have many people to talk to about how I'm feeling and I found letting it all out on here to be very helpful.

I'm not sure if my campus has some sort of sober club as mentioned here, but I'm not sure if I would want to put myself out there like that. I would however like to join some sort of club on campus to get me into some type of activity. I plan to do this when I get the time for it, right now I'm still trying to catch up on homework because I joined a new class late and like I said I havent been able to concentrate much this whole week so I fell behind.

I didn't really anticipate the move to make me feel isolated, and I'm not really sure why. It seems perfectly normal that this would happen, and it seems so after reading through everyones posts. Now that I have a day under my belt I am hoping to not smoke or drink any more, because like Dee's put it before, it just keeps you on the hamster wheel. I dont have a pot connection here and I have no plans to find one, this is supposed to be a new start for me and I plan to use this opportunity to my advantage. As mentioned here, I really do feel like I'm stuggling to stay above the water with the new school and unfamiliar environment. Yesterday I pulled myself back up to the surface and it feels good.

I do realize that one good day doesn't mean its going to be great from here on out but its a start. I plan to post here when my schedule permits me to do so because the support here is great. Thanks again for all the replies, it's great to know I'm not alone.

There is only one time to quit and that is now. I have no doubt what you say is true but our addiction will do it's best to convince us we can't quit because of blah blah blah. Life is always hard and if we quit tomorrow we never quit because tomorrow never comes.

I couldn't do it in my own. When I had the willingness to get professional help, go to AA, get a sponsor, and work the steps my life started to turn around.

Most schools have professional help and AA but you have to go to them they will not come to you.

If you really want to get and stay sober do what needs to be done

If your school doesn't have anything appropriate then you could check on meetup.com.

I think posting here on BAD days definitely helps. For one thing, there is the support of all the great members. But, also, on a good day, you can look back at when things seemed terrible and recall how those feelings passed. That gives me strength for tomorrow.

Hey, I was thrown out of my house at one month sober, had to move 200 miles away and quit my job. It's been hell but it doesn't mean you have to drink/smoke weed.

Getting exercise and mixing with new people will do much more to help you settle and feel better :)

Some great advice here Soberish :)

I hope you do find ways to make time for your recovery - whether it's here or somewhere else, because recovery's about as fundamental as you can get in terms of importance.

you will get back what you put into your recovery - so give it all you have :)
thinking like that is losing the battle before we start.
Relapse is not inevitable :)

What do you think you need to do to have a recovery plan that will avoid relapses and keep you sober?

D

Tomorrow never comes, that's the very truth I've been going through for too long now. Quitting has been in the back of my mind for the past year and a half maybe, but it's funny how it hasn't came yet. I mean, I've had some attempts at quitting but it just doesn't stick like it did a few years back, and even then I guess it never really stuck cause here I am again.

I always look at that time in my life and refer to it because its a time when I had my priorities straight, and I genuinely felt good.

The main reason I stopped smoking during this time was because my life was so off track from it and all the things I didn't address in my life. All the things I kept bottled up started to subconsciously get to me, and it hit me the hardest after one of my best friends was murdered. About 6 months after his death, the dynamics between a lot of people we used to associate with changed. I think his death along with every thing that came with it really started to get to me subconsciously because every time I would try and smoke I would get very paranoid and anxious to the point where I was literally forced to quit.

Fast forward a bit and the reason I continued not smoking pot then was because I felt my classes were getting harder every semester and I needed to be as mentally sharp as I could be. Finding a job was difficult for me around this time and I remember having this notion that no one wanted to hire me because of how I looked, or presented myself. This was something I had come to the conclusion of when I was still using, and even after I had quit, this idea still stuck with me.

One day, after being clean for months and going through what I believe was some serious PAWS, I got a job opportunity through my college. I remember going to the interview and leaving it thinking I totally messed the whole thing up and wouldn't get the job, but to my surprise I was hired. I remember thinking how great it was that I finally got a job and I hadn't felt that way in years. This ended up being one of the best things that happened to me because it allowed me to meet and talk with different people on a daily basis. It connected me to new people and really boosted my self esteem, and I didn't need drugs or alcohol to do that. This was probably the only time period in my adult life where I felt genuinely happy. And what ended up happening eventually was I just started smoking again, which led to drinking, and this was all because I felt good and took up the offer to smoke one day because I thought I could simply keep it all moderated. The biggest mistake I made was taking that offer up...

So Dee, when you ask what I think I need to do to stay sober, I guess I'm not really sure. I mean, I had it all going great last time. I was happy, I wasn't a nervous wreck anymore which allowed me to regain that spunk I always remember myself having during my adolescent years. People, and not just close friends, actually enjoyed and wanted to be around me. I had extra cash in my pocket which allowed me to save up for a car, which was unimaginable while I was smoking weed and drinking. I had my license back after two DUI's, and it was actually there to stay this time because I was clean. AND I STILL ENDED UP TAKING THAT OFFER TO SMOKE AGAIN, which ultimately led me to using on a daily basis because the high was brand new again, and it gradually put me back into this horrible state of mind I'm roller coastering through right now.

If that's not addiction then I don't know what is. I can get sober, and even hold some arbitrary amount of time being sober, but actually staying that way seems implausible.

I think if we want change we need to make changes soberish.
Not just temporary changes but real concrete permanent life changes.

It's not just a pithy slogan.

Once I accepted that my relationship with alcohol (and pot) was toxic, the only reasonable sane choice left was to build a life without those things.

this link will help you develop a action plan for your recovery to help you quit and stay quit

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

There's another phase tho, and it sounds like maybe you never touched on this much in your sober time before?

A lot of us can build the life without our drugs of choice - for a while - but we often forget phase two which is becoming happy clean and sober long-term.

That can take a while, and that's where support, and a little faith that we're doing the right thing, comes into play.

The second part of this link talks more about that long term effort.

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf

It's a lasting commitment - more akin to a marathon rather than a sprint - but it's not beyond anyone - not if you have the sincere desire for change :)

D.

I don't think I've made it to the long term phase yet. 2 to 3 years is not long term when you look at the big picture. I did gain some insight and some healthy habits through those 2 to 3 years though so I guess I'm not completely back to where I was.

I couldn't sleep last night which is why I wrote that long post. I believe it to be brutal honesty, because that's how it really feels sometimes, like I'm going to just end up back to using again even if I get X amount of time under my belt.

During my longest sober stint I mentioned above, I remember thinking to myself "Why did I even smoke and drink anyways? Life is so much better without it", and then I ended up succumbing back to it, and it literally feels like I started using again just yesterday. Crazy how time flies.

Thanks for the links Dee. I don't have time to read it all right now, but I will read it as soon as I get a chance. Today was a bit easier and I'm actually feeling kind of tired right now. Maybe these days of less sleep have caught up to me. I have 2 days under my belt, and when I wake up tomorrow I will have 3.