Joining the real world?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 321
Joining the real world?
Lately it seems that way. It seems when I'm out, just running errands or at the gym, people speak to me and I talk to them. Strangers and just casual conversations, but very pleasant.
When I was drinking, everyday, life was a chore, a PITA usually. Whenever I had to leave the house, I would get in and get out, not noticing anything or anyone around me. Walking around in a cloud of shame that followed me everywhere. I felt like everyone knew my secret...that I was an awful person. I was always angry and anxious and people in general were just in my way.
Now, I'm aware, patient, polite, happy and I might even say I almost enjoy these tasks that used to cause me so much anxiety. I make eye contact with others, have chats and actually like it!
I'm no longer avoiding life, I think I'm living it. Sounds silly, I know....but I really noticed it tonight at the gym, then grocery store (and OMG, I was shopping at 8pm at night.........that would've NEVER happened just 2 months ago)! When I realized it, I thought about it and I also realized it's been like that for over a week or two not
I honestly believe that getting sober has changed my demeanor. I'm no longer this pathetic little woman walking around in shame, thinking I don't belong....thinking I'm not worthy enough....thinking they know my secret and they will think I'm pathetic too so better not let them notice me.
Being sober is changing my life. I miss absolutely nothing about drinking. Life is good and I want to live it!!!
Hugs to everyone!
When I was drinking, everyday, life was a chore, a PITA usually. Whenever I had to leave the house, I would get in and get out, not noticing anything or anyone around me. Walking around in a cloud of shame that followed me everywhere. I felt like everyone knew my secret...that I was an awful person. I was always angry and anxious and people in general were just in my way.
Now, I'm aware, patient, polite, happy and I might even say I almost enjoy these tasks that used to cause me so much anxiety. I make eye contact with others, have chats and actually like it!
I'm no longer avoiding life, I think I'm living it. Sounds silly, I know....but I really noticed it tonight at the gym, then grocery store (and OMG, I was shopping at 8pm at night.........that would've NEVER happened just 2 months ago)! When I realized it, I thought about it and I also realized it's been like that for over a week or two not
I honestly believe that getting sober has changed my demeanor. I'm no longer this pathetic little woman walking around in shame, thinking I don't belong....thinking I'm not worthy enough....thinking they know my secret and they will think I'm pathetic too so better not let them notice me.
Being sober is changing my life. I miss absolutely nothing about drinking. Life is good and I want to live it!!!
Hugs to everyone!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 321
Thanks everyone! Having perspective or rational thoughts hasn't been "my thing" for many years now. It got lost when pounding the wine. I truly believe towards the end (the loooooong end) of drinking, my accomplishments were a small few.....such as not waking up as hungover as usual or maybe making it out of the house for a function or errand. Thats sure something to be proud of (I actually really would pat myself on the back for that)
I think I have a new addiction now.....to being sober!
Have a great day y'all!
I think I have a new addiction now.....to being sober!
Have a great day y'all!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
