anything to help with cravings?
 

i have been drinking for over a decade, beginning at 15, now im 27. it has always been 'controlled', only drinking at set hours during the night, never in the daytime. i hadnt had blackouts etc. i was unhappy, certainly but with no hangovers and no daytime drinking, i continued rather than face the pain of quitting.
but in this past month, just like that, everything is spiralling out of control. i am getting drunker than ever before just by drinking more in one sitting than i ever have in the past. i have had a few blackouts. i am waking later and later and its affecting my children (aged just 8, 6 and 4) who get their own breakfast and juice in the morning before quietly playing until i awaken. i attempted to take my own life last week by way of an overdose while drunk. this overdose was simply due to the stresses of drinking/pain of quitting.
my other half is fantastic (he doesnt realize my drinking is a major problem) but i know at some point, especially if my drinking continues becoming more excessive as it has in the last month, he will leave. who wouldnt? my children will be taken from me. this has to stop.
so, next monday (5th october) i plan on quitting and just seeing it through regardless of the suffering i may feel. however, i need some aids in order to succeed. i dont have a doctor and dont really want medication anyway. i hear many people basically saying do whatever you want, just stay happy/content, eat what you like, do what you enjoy etc.
i have tried all that and all it means for me is that i have a great day doing all the things i love, eating whatever i like without worrying and then giving in and drinking at night.
the only place i drink is in my living room after 9pm. how do i avoid that? my partner goes to bed early to be up early for work so i cant stay in the bedroom. all i have every night is an empty living room, a computer and an immense craving. i cannot go out, i cannot go to another room as someone is sleeping in every room other than the kitchen, i cannot have a bath as it is so noisy it wakes everyone and i cannot sleep (it just doesnt happen). i can read, do a jigsaw, play a game, but i keep clock watching and eventually i drink, even as late as 1pm. i am utterly alone with my cravings.
i am desperate here. can anyone help?

Sorry for your struggles. Anybody who is sober had to go through the same cravings. They may drive us crazy, but unless you are physically dependent, they are just thoughts. Thoughts can't make you drink. Only you can make yourself drink by picking up.

I don't advise putting quitting off until the 5th. It isn't going to get any easier, and the resolve you have this very moment may fade. Quit today. Right now.

Perhaps it is time to tell your husband about your problem. Support is important. And get rid of all the alcohol in your house. You can only give into your cravings if there is something to drink. With an alcohol-free home, you can't drink.

I have started going to bed early (8:30-9pm). Even if I have a hard time falling asleep, it is easier than staying up and obsessing about alcohol. Hard candies and sleepy time tea before bed have also helped.

i completely understand what you are saying regarding my resolve disappearing by the 5th, but i have tried many times to quit just like that and it hasnt worked at all. i never made it past the second day. i read that having a date in mind and knowing its coming, preparing yourself for it, can work for some people so i am trying that this time.
my partner is aware of exactly how much i drink and how drunk i get every night, but he views it as 'she is just having fun. if she likes being drunk and she isnt hurting anyone, what is the harm?' he puts off worrying about my health, thinking 'it will never happen' as i usually do also. he has said a few times that i am not an alcoholic. but having never touched a drop himself and having grown up with a heavy drinking father, it is difficult for him to see what is healthy or not.

Welcome back stephmadam.

Most of us ( me included ) reached a point when our drinking became uncontrollable, even though we were able to seemingly control it at one point in our lives. It's a natural progression of alcoholism and it only gets worseunfortunately, you can really never regain "control" anymore.

As carl said, cravings are merely thoughts...albeit powerful ones. You have a choice as to how you react to them...and not drinking is always an option. I see a large number of things that you "cannot" do during that time at night. What you most likely need to do is make a list of things you CAN do. A good start, which you've already made, is to come here on SR. It's quiet and you wont disturb anyone, and you'll be surrounded by literally hundreds of people who completely understand what you are going through. You could join the class of September thread or one of the many weekly/daily sober threads. You could also read about many of the self-paced sobriety plans like AVRT in the secular forums. There is a long list of books about sobriety and self help that you could obtain too.

You say you don't have a doctor but can you register with one?

That's the only way that has worked for me.

They prescribed librium for 7 days which just chilled me out, no cravings whatsover.

Then prescribed acamprasate for up to a year which again deals with cravings. I've had some but they've been passing thoughts rather than "sit on your hands to stop yourself pouring a drink". If you've tried other ways before why not try something new? My children are 5 & 7 so I can relate to life with kids. But I am 23 days sober today and can amazingly say that I'm coping, I don't feel a massive void in my life, I think alot of that is down to the meds. I've been poisoning myself for years with alcohol so I was not opposed to taking something for the right reason.

Think about it....

If you're in the UK you can self refer to addaction.

Welcome aboard Stephmadam.

Like the others are saying, we have all had to deal with those voices, negotiating with our AV and then finally being able to control them and not drink. They are just thoughts, nothing more. You can get past the thoughts, but you've got to dig deep and want to wake up tomorrow sober more than anything. This disease is progressive and will get worse if you don't make some adjustments in your life.

I like the idea of making a list of things you CAN do during your alone time at night. I also found it useful to create a list to remind myself why I had to succeed in being sober. My top priorities and driving force on my list were my kids. I didn't want them to have to suffer due to my choices. Finally I woke up and choose not to drink any more, I chose to suffer through the tough withdrawals, through the tough thoughts, through the uncertainty of re-defining my life without alcohol in it... and you know what, it was the best decision I have ever made. You can do it too.

When I first started this journey, I was on SR constantly at night. I joined the monthly class and was as active as I needed to be to keep my mind occupied.

Are there any hobbies you could start? Anything to get you past the cravings.

You have the power to quit. Lean on us as much as you can to help you not drink.

Early in Sobriety I exercised after work, ate dinner, hung out with the family and went to bed when they did. I, like you drank heavily when they went to sleep. So I joined them. No reason for me to stay up and try to not drink,.

I'm 32, three kids too. Small apartment in the city. Used to drink a lot at night.

Firstly, I'd suggest you make sure your partner understands that you WANT to quit. If he isn't a drinker, as you mentioned, keeping alcohol out of the house should be a bit easier. Start with that.

I'm not sure what your drink of choice is but I started buying 12 packs of seltzer water in cans (it's important that they are in cans). I probably down 4 to 5 cans a night, but it definitely helps with the sensation of having something in my hands and something to drink (plus it's really just water, so I'm super hydrated!)

If your routine at night was to drink, you need to make a new routine for yourself.

Keep busy! Take the money you would have spent on alcohol and buy a computer or video game you'd enjoy. There are TONS out there for every interest. Or binge watch a TV show on Netflix/Hulu. There are a lot of free apps you can use to do some stretching or yoga quietly in your living room.

Lastly, set a bedtime routine and stick with it. Make some tea, grab a book, and read for 20 minutes or more. You may find that sleep will start to come, slowly but surely.

Hello & Welcome

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

Sweets and chocolate - I'm eating some now.

Hi Stephmadam,
I agree with the others about the date. Having a date in the future doesn't do any good. Preparing yourself doesn't do any good. Been there done that. EVERY Monday morning I was gonna quit! It IS HARD to quit, but you just have to go through it.
Then done is done. And you never have to do it again......Yes there will be cravings, but you have to ride them out......and things get better, cravings get less, and you notice suddenly your life is AWESOME! Your children will be delighted to have a sober Mom!

I was a 5 pm after work drinker, and had a drink the moment I walked in the door! I think I was grabbing a drink before I took my coat off sometimes....YUK! :headbange

What helped me in the early stages was to make some fancy non alcoholic drink and a small snack when I got home from work.
That helped tremendously.....I still do that. I use club soda as the base and mix sparkling juice or regular juice. Or iced tea, or regular tea.
Handful of nuts, some crackers, and the takes the urgency away.

And come here, post questions, share your success......

You CAN do this!

Hi Stephmadam
I'm not sure if you've already mentioned, but can you think of anything that might be driving the dramatic increase in your drinking, to the point of multiple blackouts in one month? Usually solo, lonely, heavy drinking is being driven by something emotional/psychological. Maybe if you can address the causes, you can more effectively find a solution to the craving...

Exercise (of any sort) will help a bit. It'd be a distraction; help you feel good at the time; and help you sleep better. This might just be playing some silly-mad games with the kids; races around or to the park; or crazy dancing competitions with them.

Have you checked out your local support groups? AA has been helpful beyond belief for me - and there are usually some women only meetings if you'd prefer that initially.

I feel your pain. Definitely glad you found this place for sure...I am 11 days sober now and Im loosing the urge and cravings slowly day by day.. you just have to make it out of hell week and stay strong. read and post here as much as you can, there is tons of support and understanding people. You're not a lone Steph. Msg anytime, I usually stay up late so.

Keep your head up.

Dru -