D122y

There are some people that seem a little wacky....especially the ones that speak the most....?

I Googled it and it came up...basically...yes...many have other issues...depression...bi polar...etc...

Makes sense I guess....

As a person searching for guidance in sobriety, I have to pay close attention to who I get advice from...

I got the impression that a few people in today's meeting were long time members...but we're coming off a recent drinking session...

This kind of scared me...



Thoughts....

Dee74

You could say the same for SR...but I wouldn't

There's a great reservoir of knowledge wisdom and common sense in any community - all we have to do is develop our ability to sort the wheat from the chaff.

I would look past the surface too...some of my best teachers did not look like teachers. I myself have cerebral palsy so I know very well that you can't always judge a book by the cover.

If this home group seems like a blow out to you, why not try another d122y?

D

FreeOwl

Look for the trends that will be useful to your sobriety, learn what you can, take the support that you can, let go the rest....

AA, SMART, celebrate, SR.... They all will have imperfect people because; people.

Saskia

I tried various meetings and the one that I hadn't expected to be a good match for me turned out to be the most valuable :-).

esinger

Meetings for people with a dysfunction are bound to have dysfunctional people in them. When I went to meetings, I found the people who talked the least usually said the most.

D122y

The f2f is emotional....I teared up today when a young man celebrated his 1 year of sobriety...

He was happy, but we all could see he has major sadness issues or something...

Happy day, but it got me thinking about posting this thread....

For some reason, folks that routinely post here seem so....thought out...the magic of the back space key...

The flow of public speaking...going against a 4 minute clock...has to cause some random thoughts...f bombs....crazy eyes....etc...

Nonetheless...I really do get it...I get AA...and I Def. Get SR.

happyandfree

As in any support group, you take what you need and leave the rest. Wacko's are everywhere,.

Ruby2

I attend meetings where there are a bunch of people living in a recovery house. There are also a bunch of people like me. There are also a few mentally ill people too. What I've discovered is that almost always, there's a diamond somewhere in the dirt pile if I listen.

And honestly, I make my living being able to speak off the cuff, in public but to string coherent thoughts together in a meeting? Forget it. I think I'm too self conscious. But I still share what I can.

The important part is going and listening.

Upwardspiral

D122y, I have a hard time without my backspace key too! I've only spoken up at a couple of smaller meetings and when I can't see the words coming out of me I get lost quickly.

Some people in AA share beautifully but, yeah, some are hard to follow or even make me feel crappy. Ultimately I like being in that room feeling things with people, in the flesh, for better or worse. And I usually find I have more in common with everyone in the room than I could've imagined when I first walked in.

sleepie

I think you made a very useful observation and if I had done as well I'd maybe gone back.
Knowledge is power.
Pay attention who you listen to.

Roxyblues

Focus on positives and what you take from and add to the meetings.

Austin4Wyo

latest-1.jpg


To our OP, if you're seeking division, you'll find it. I have found it more challenging, but far more useful and rewarding, to seek similarity through acceptance. Stuff like assuming they've been drinking...what brings you to such a damning conclusion?

You sound an awful lot like me when I wasn't ready. I could always find a reason to disregard others. Its all rooted in my ego, and until my ego made an exit because I kicked it's arse (I'm British tonight ) out, I would spend time focused on others instead of myself. It didn't keep me sober. Recovery, wildly enough, is a job that requires me to focus on MY stuff, and accept others, just as they accept my pasty, white, sick, ego-centric carcass.

None of us are perfect. Progress, not perfection.

D122y

...and that is why I post my thoughts...

Alcoholism...like many actions we do...is a selfish act....

Arguably...therapy is selfish....working out...selfish...etc.

Who am I to judge? Venting. I labeled...many old timers....on what I heard from...4 or so people...out of over 50 people...

Bottom line...the meeting today frustrated me...but....it wasn't about me...or was it.?.

I'm a work in progress....I'm damaged and healing....but I'm sober for life.

Alcohol is poisen.

FreeOwl

alcoholism is selfish, self centered, and focused on the ALCOHOLIC self....

therapy is self-improvement, positive, self-expansion and focused on the inner Self - the one who has the real opportunity to be of service to others and to contribute to the flow in positive ways....

the meeting probably wasn't about you.

your frustration probably was.

RogerD

Hi,

Not every meeting's going to be great. Go to different ones. I'm really new at going to meetings but I think they help me. One constant I have found is everyone I have met is empathetic to my alcoholism. They understand my struggle. I can see it in their face when they come up to me after meetings. That in itself is very nice.

MIRecovery

I look for people that have what I want. Long term sobriety, comfortable in their own skins, serenity, and enjoying life. The rest I don't pay much attention to unless I think I can help

Roxyblues

That is the key. We all have a common bond and the exact same problem. EXACTLY THE SAME.

I went to meetings off and on for more than 20 years and every time they read how it works and stated "if you want what we have and are willing to go to any extent to get it . . ." I would think to myself "I don't want what anyone has here."

Alcoholics are egomaniacs with inferiority complexes and my disease will look for the differences by focusing on the outside and judging others. My disease looks for the differences to tell me I am not that bad.

Some of the best and most real messages comes from those that I may not even consider talking to in normal life. Accepting and helping those less fortunate may be the best gift I am ever given.

I sit in meetings daily with all walks of life ranging from very famous musicians and actors, professionals such as my myself to street people.

I find that when I listen to the message I suffer from the exact same malady. When truthful with myself, I am not exactly a model of mental health either. Having degrees, fancy cars, a big house and a gorgeous family does not make one immune from being absolutely insane when it comes to alcoholism.

Bird615

In meetings, I have a habit of looking for the thing(s) in a person's comment that I might have in common with them, or that I can at least try to have some understanding of where they're coming from. I also try to find some sort of value in whatever a person is saying and sometimes the value I find is an opportunity to practice patience or tolerance or compassion. Humility, as in step 7, to me, is reminding myself that I am no better or worse than anyone else.

Mind you, I don't always find these things easy to do, especially outside of meetings and even more so at home, but when I can remember, it saves me a lot of my own self-created grief.

FreeOwl

That's the way to do it... Right there

Fly N Buy

As the program is solely about evoking a spiritual awakening (cause we were asleep) to give us what the journal of the first 100 had - recovery from the insanity of alcoholism, I learned to always consider the second tradition when I share in meetings and when I listen to others.

Sometimes, as you stated - what we hear has nothing at all to do with us. The God of my understanding makes it clear to me that I will be witness to much that has nothing at all to do with me........

First part of 2nd tradition - For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority, a loving God as he may express Himself in our group conscience.

Withing 90 days in the rooms, I had it all figured out. Around six months I began to comprehend maybe not. Today at 15 months I can see I know very little. But, I am so very thankful I don't have to figure it all out today..........

D122y - your words here speak volumes = Do indeed echo progress to me!!!
Well Done!

Who am I to judge? Venting. I labeled...many old timers....on what I heard from...4 or so people...out of over 50 people...

Bottom line...the meeting today frustrated me...but....it wasn't about me...or was it.?.

I'm a work in progress....I'm damaged and healing....but I'm sober for life.

let's all keep coming back
And yea, thank goodness for the backspace and edit!!