Stay sober here!!! Weekender September 25
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Ken, I know where you are coming from. My son is gay. He came out to me on his 13th birthday. I do not want him to be seen as anything other than who he is - a smart, funny, kind kid. But I fear he will be labeled as gay first, then the rest of it. It's not right. But we are all labeled in some way. I'm now alcoholic Marty. I hate that. I'm still me. Just like I was when I was drinking. Same person. Probably better. But I can almost hear peoples' judgement. I'm somehow different and set apart now. I try not to let it get to me. I just drive on. Someday I'll be surrounded by people who don't know my history and see me as I am. That will be nice.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Tetra 
It is funny how things work out. My mother is freaking out, between being executor of my Grandmother's will, and my sister's legal and financial affairs now that she has left her husband.
This week we found out that when my father's father died 15 years ago,he left behind a sum of money to be divided between his children and grandchildren. His children are left the bulk of it naturally, but when it is divided out accordingto his wishes, there will certainly be enough for me to buy a return ticket to Philly to see my brother, and enough to have a jolly old time
I don't know why my uncle left it 15 years to tell us. Anyway, my dad and I couldn't believe it when we heard. Dear old Grandfather had a hard life. His eldest brother joined the IRA on active service and the whole family were marked as nationalist sympatherisers. When the Black and Tan soldiers came to the village they always harassed the family as his eldest brother was a wanted man. On one of their visits to the village, their house was burned down and my Grandfather (who was very young at the time) had to go and live with his aunt. Then they were afraid that the soldiers would burn down that cottage too.
Everyone says I look like my Grandfather. We have some of the same mannerisms and we (and my dad) are quite reserved. You should see the cottage where my father was reared. My Grandfather was certainly a hard working man, and I kind of wish that he had kept his money and spent it on himself. He did however ensure that all his children got a good education.
He did a nice thing.
This week we found out that when my father's father died 15 years ago,he left behind a sum of money to be divided between his children and grandchildren. His children are left the bulk of it naturally, but when it is divided out accordingto his wishes, there will certainly be enough for me to buy a return ticket to Philly to see my brother, and enough to have a jolly old time
I don't know why my uncle left it 15 years to tell us. Anyway, my dad and I couldn't believe it when we heard. Dear old Grandfather had a hard life. His eldest brother joined the IRA on active service and the whole family were marked as nationalist sympatherisers. When the Black and Tan soldiers came to the village they always harassed the family as his eldest brother was a wanted man. On one of their visits to the village, their house was burned down and my Grandfather (who was very young at the time) had to go and live with his aunt. Then they were afraid that the soldiers would burn down that cottage too.
Everyone says I look like my Grandfather. We have some of the same mannerisms and we (and my dad) are quite reserved. You should see the cottage where my father was reared. My Grandfather was certainly a hard working man, and I kind of wish that he had kept his money and spent it on himself. He did however ensure that all his children got a good education.
He did a nice thing.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Originally Posted by MLD51
Ken, I know where you are coming from. My son is gay. He came out to me on his 13th birthday. I do not want him to be seen as anything other than who he is - a smart, funny, kind kid. But I fear he will be labeled as gay first, then the rest of it. It's not right. But we are all labeled in some way. I'm now alcoholic Marty. I hate that. I'm still me. Just like I was when I was drinking. Same person. Probably better. But I can almost hear peoples' judgement. I'm somehow different and set apart now. I try not to let it get to me. I just drive on. Someday I'll be surrounded by people who don't know my history and see me as I am. That will be nice.
let people see what they see. It's not a factor... well... lets not let it be a factor.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
all showered up and smelling pretty
Weasey, Not that it's any consolation, but my ex-wife used to spend time with a friend. Just a friend. I was secure with myself so I didn't let it bother me too much. They got married not too long after the divorce. So forgive this gal, especially since you don't know HIM - I assume. Men can be funny about things like that. Most men are whacked.
Hi midnight - How have you been?
Midton - stay close and post if anything at all is bothering you. Especially if you feel like you 'need' a drink.
Weasey, Not that it's any consolation, but my ex-wife used to spend time with a friend. Just a friend. I was secure with myself so I didn't let it bother me too much. They got married not too long after the divorce. So forgive this gal, especially since you don't know HIM - I assume. Men can be funny about things like that. Most men are whacked.
Hi midnight - How have you been?
Midton - stay close and post if anything at all is bothering you. Especially if you feel like you 'need' a drink.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
"Most men are whacked."No comment. But, see, I'm kind of a jealous person. I am of the firm belief that there is good reason to doubt when your SO has a close friend that falls in their wheelhouse of sexual attraction. Whoa.. It would be sucky for me to be involved with someone who is bi. But, once again - single here - since forever. I suppose it could be argued that these two things might be related.
Behan, have fun on your motorway/ferry trip. I really hope the President of China isn't coming to that part of the world.
Take pictures!
I think I'm out for the night! bi!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
That is a great post Weasel.
It really made me think. I used to describe myself as an alcoholic but my therapist pointed out that I am a recovering alcoholic and there is a difference. Actually at the meeting tonight, most of us stood up and said "my name is x and I am an alcoholic" but I noted a few people skipped over the alcoholic part.
I have now accepted it and come to terms with it.
But in the big scheme of things, these labels don't matter.
I used to despise myself for being what I am but my best friend pointed out that it doesn't matter. All I did was use alcohol as a crutch because I could not cope with my social anxiety. At the end of it all, I am Tetra, loving daughter, sister, cousin, niece and extremely loyal friend. And I'm okay with that.
It really made me think. I used to describe myself as an alcoholic but my therapist pointed out that I am a recovering alcoholic and there is a difference. Actually at the meeting tonight, most of us stood up and said "my name is x and I am an alcoholic" but I noted a few people skipped over the alcoholic part.
I have now accepted it and come to terms with it.
But in the big scheme of things, these labels don't matter.
I used to despise myself for being what I am but my best friend pointed out that it doesn't matter. All I did was use alcohol as a crutch because I could not cope with my social anxiety. At the end of it all, I am Tetra, loving daughter, sister, cousin, niece and extremely loyal friend. And I'm okay with that.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Oh, Brain, you just HAD to mention lactose intolerance, didn't you? Little Miss Ruby has been complaining of stomach aches and headaches, not coincidentally beginning with the start of school. Husband wants to believe it's lactose intolerance and not anxiety. I got many calls from the teacher last year about tummy ache and headache. Daughter supposed to go to doctor tomorrow and is now crying because she doesn't want shots. Sigh.
But whether she goes, I don't know because Mr. Ruby is supposed to take her and I've just learned he's taken money out of his checking account so I don't know he'll be in any great shape to take her. I'm not happy. I wanted to go to an AA meeting tonight but without the I won't say bad words here to watch kids, I can't go.
But whether she goes, I don't know because Mr. Ruby is supposed to take her and I've just learned he's taken money out of his checking account so I don't know he'll be in any great shape to take her. I'm not happy. I wanted to go to an AA meeting tonight but without the I won't say bad words here to watch kids, I can't go.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Originally Posted by Weasel1966
Awesome midton! Welcome! What's your plan this weekend?
No plans for Sunday but Sunday has seldom been a day of high-cravings or drinking as I'm usually trying to recover from my weekend excesses.
As for tonight(Friday), I finish work around 8:30. I usually go shopping for the following weeks groceries. The supermarket obviously has wine but I will be ok. I'm promising myself.
Thanks for asking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Sorry to hear about that Ruby. As silly as it sounds, it would better if it was lactose issue rather than school anxiety. I had school anxiety as a little one. Spent time in hospital for it - they thought I had an ulcer...
did all the GI tests etc... I was just a frightened nervous kid.
did all the GI tests etc... I was just a frightened nervous kid.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Hi all - catching up here, been a busy coupla weeks.
My truck has been back in action so I spent last weekend kicking the tires and testing it out through the mountains and hills. Of course it's been raining so that didn't help my stress levels as I feverishly monitored the "check engine" light while driving through the mudslides and downpours. Tuesday I came across a downed tree in the middle of the road while going straight up a hill in the rain, crazy stuff! Driving sober means I can rest easy though.
In any case, things are settling down and I'm getting back to normal. Need some fun, and my dad's coming to visit next weekend - looking forward to kicking around town with the old man. He's a good traveler and fluent in Spanish so he'll be a happy camper.
Hoping for some sun, we've had nothing but rain the last 2 weeks. Wet, wet, wet. 'Tis the season. Flowers are enjoying it but the nighttime temps are a bit chilly these days so I'm losing a few of the less-hearty species on the terrace. Picked up a new table for the terrace as well, going to paint it this weekend!
Ahhh, the thing we can get done in sobriety. Good to be here, thanks for the thread and nice to see everyone per usual!
My truck has been back in action so I spent last weekend kicking the tires and testing it out through the mountains and hills. Of course it's been raining so that didn't help my stress levels as I feverishly monitored the "check engine" light while driving through the mudslides and downpours. Tuesday I came across a downed tree in the middle of the road while going straight up a hill in the rain, crazy stuff! Driving sober means I can rest easy though.
In any case, things are settling down and I'm getting back to normal. Need some fun, and my dad's coming to visit next weekend - looking forward to kicking around town with the old man. He's a good traveler and fluent in Spanish so he'll be a happy camper.
Hoping for some sun, we've had nothing but rain the last 2 weeks. Wet, wet, wet. 'Tis the season. Flowers are enjoying it but the nighttime temps are a bit chilly these days so I'm losing a few of the less-hearty species on the terrace. Picked up a new table for the terrace as well, going to paint it this weekend!
Ahhh, the thing we can get done in sobriety. Good to be here, thanks for the thread and nice to see everyone per usual!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Hi, W'enders,
Tomorrow is Friday -- yay!
Marty, I hope that your friend's situation gets better soon. You're a good person for being on his side. And remember this about your own reflections: A few bad chapters does not mean your story is over.
Saoutchik's photos remind me of the buildings back at my university. The soulless era of architecture, I guess.
A member of my extended family just left, having brought a cabinet to my home. It was something my father -- a devoted collector and tinkerer -- had purchased and restored for me. He completed it just before his unexpected death 16 months ago. It's taken a while for it to get to my home and I feel a level of comfort finally having it here with me. I have to set up the shelves inside and hope to get a photo here once I'm finished. I miss Dad so greatly.
Elsewhere on the Newcomers Forum, I see a fellow journeyer is asking us to keep her in thoughts and prayers in a sorrowful time. I hope I'm not exceeding the boundaries if I ask fellow journeyers to keep our dear Aellyce in our hearts.
Tomorrow is Friday -- yay!
Marty, I hope that your friend's situation gets better soon. You're a good person for being on his side. And remember this about your own reflections: A few bad chapters does not mean your story is over.
Saoutchik's photos remind me of the buildings back at my university. The soulless era of architecture, I guess.
A member of my extended family just left, having brought a cabinet to my home. It was something my father -- a devoted collector and tinkerer -- had purchased and restored for me. He completed it just before his unexpected death 16 months ago. It's taken a while for it to get to my home and I feel a level of comfort finally having it here with me. I have to set up the shelves inside and hope to get a photo here once I'm finished. I miss Dad so greatly.
Elsewhere on the Newcomers Forum, I see a fellow journeyer is asking us to keep her in thoughts and prayers in a sorrowful time. I hope I'm not exceeding the boundaries if I ask fellow journeyers to keep our dear Aellyce in our hearts.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Good to see you bigS!
Thanks for the heads up, Venecia.
Reading everything still and could comment on all of it but I'm afraid it would all just come out as rambling. However...I will say this. I'm beginning to fully understand why people choose to live in seclusion. Life shouldn't be this full of diversions and nonsense and external stressors and just 'stuff'.
Hugs to everyone who needs one tonight
Thanks for the heads up, Venecia.
Reading everything still and could comment on all of it but I'm afraid it would all just come out as rambling. However...I will say this. I'm beginning to fully understand why people choose to live in seclusion. Life shouldn't be this full of diversions and nonsense and external stressors and just 'stuff'.
Hugs to everyone who needs one tonight
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
Yeah, I know what you mean, brynn. I don't want to live in seclusion but I get tired of all the nonsense that people have to offer, whether we like it or not. It's part of the reason why I've gotten really private about myself in my old age. I don't want to discuss my personal life with too many. I don't want to deal with it. I can't go to AA cause of my job, bUT i don want the label anyway. I think im just chicken. ..but I do like the anonymity of this site. Sometimes I evev get paranoid here. I should get a job at Starbucks and then I wouldn't care. That would be nice.
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