Cabash07

Hi. I have 11 days, and I'm doing the 90 meetings in 90 days, but I haven't gotten a sponsor yet. In fact, I haven't been able to share my day count yet, because I feel stupid I didn't start a long time ago, and also I see people in the rooms I used to drink with and shut down. I'm not ashamed of being an alcoholic, but something is keeping me quiet.
Anyway, it's mostly been pink cloud, so I've felt great, but I know I need to get someone and start working it. I guess I just kind of need some pressure to ask one of the people who raise their hands. I've been fortunate in that I've found a great group that I know I want to make my home group. But, I've barely done any fellowship apart from a few hellos and one brief conversation.
So, please stick the screws in and tell me to shut up and ask someone to be a sponsor. Because right now I'm telling myself it's an important person and I want to vet people more. But I think that's mostly an excuse to put it off.

Roxyblues

Ask God to direct you and pick someone.

The real relief will start to come from by having a sponsor and actually using them as much as possible.

You can so it!

Soberwolf

Your doing excellent on day 11 I asked the guy who took me to my first meeting who I still ring up for advice & how's things

Keep at it youl find someone

Berrybean

I took me months and months. Months and months of avoidable pain.
Push past the fear and ask someone.
Do you have someone in mind?

sg1970

The relief is in the Steps and a sponsors job is to show you how he/she works the steps and stays sober. What Beccy said about avoidable pain I found to be true as well. I wallowed in it for 3 months.

At your next meeting watch and listen to people very closely. My experience is that if you have similar personalities it helps. Look for someone who genuinely seems happy. Above all make sure they work the steps.

Also if it doesn't seem to be panning out don't be afraid to switch sponsors. Just make sure your motives are pure.

Congrats on 11 days! That's huge. And that pink cloud you mentioned, you don't have to get off of it.

Bubovski

I wouldn't rush it if I was you.
A gut feeling might help, but then again too much empathy can be a problem too.
When you do choose a sponsor you aren't locked in, some members make quite a few changes.
I know one highly respected AA old timer who has no sponsor, simply lots of good friends.

Fly N Buy

Glad you're here - welcome!!

Bird615

Welcome to SR!

I picked my sponsors by finding someone who seemed to have some good sobriety and stability in the program, knew and worked the steps and that I felt I could talk to.

You don't have to grab the first person you see, but at the same time don't wait an unreasonable amount of time either. It's great you've found a group you like, so I would take that to mean that you feel the same about the members. I got to know people by hanging around after the meetings and gradually started having one on one conversations with people, often by telling them if I had liked something they said during the meeting.

Put some careful thought into it and make the leap.

tomsteve

good advise given on the sponsor thing.
if them people at meetings you see that ya drank with are sober, theyre prolly pretty dam glad to see ya there.
that something keepin ya quiet is prolly one of the faces of fear. for me it was fear of what others would think of me- low self esteem.
all i had to do is get some courage.
worked pretty good as then the hand of aa was able to reach out and help me.

Cabash07

Thanks everyone for your advice. I did finally talk after the qualification today and told everyone to get on my case about getting a sponsor. As soon as the meeting ended I had a bunch of people giving me their number and telling me to text them. I don't really feel a good connection with any of the people who I spoke with, but there are a few people who have the traits I'd like, (longer term, generally cheerful demeanor, optimistic) and I think I'll just ask one of them the next time I see them. Thank you for the reminder that I'm not bonded for life with the first one I choose. It takes some of the pressure off.

Zebra1275

You can speak up and ask at the meeting, that's what I did. But don't ask for a sponsor, ask for a temporary sponsor.

It takes some of the pressure off of both of you and you can see if it works out for the two of you. And if it doesn't, your temporary sponsor will probably have a recommendation on who might be a good sponsor for you.

Cabash07

Just to follow up on this, I did end up asking someone to be my interim sponsor and he said yes. We'll be meeting Saturday. Thank you all for your help with this process.