Relationship Making Sobriety Hard
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: London
Posts: 170
Relationship Making Sobriety Hard
Anyone ever got into a relationship with an 
addiction, then sobered up and realised that maybe the relationship was no good? Even though the other persons done nothing wrong?
Is it selfish to leave them after they put up with the addict you, I think it is, but im not happy and think remaining could be a threat to me being sober and clean in the future.
Any similar experiences?
Or advice? Thanks!
addiction, then sobered up and realised that maybe the relationship was no good? Even though the other persons done nothing wrong?Is it selfish to leave them after they put up with the addict you, I think it is, but im not happy and think remaining could be a threat to me being sober and clean in the future.
Any similar experiences?
Or advice? Thanks!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I know it's not the same thing, but I purchased a vacation/time share when I was drunk. What was I thinking? One of the stupidest things I'd done.
I was easy prey at the time. Sober I would have laughed at them.
So now that you are sober, you see there is a different perspective and how your values adjust.
Heartache now or heartache later followed by a long process of trying to figure things out. Do what's best for you. And if being in this relationship threatens your ability to stay sober... "at all costs" and "do whatever it takes" come to mind.
Good luck.
I was easy prey at the time. Sober I would have laughed at them.
So now that you are sober, you see there is a different perspective and how your values adjust.
Heartache now or heartache later followed by a long process of trying to figure things out. Do what's best for you. And if being in this relationship threatens your ability to stay sober... "at all costs" and "do whatever it takes" come to mind.
Good luck.
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
I have somewhat the opposite situation . So I guess you could say . I'm the bad one 
I sobered up , my partner has been trying . More on then off , & I felt like kicking him to the curb many times . We met drinking , he has almost caused me to relapse a few times . In my 2 years of sobriety . Dealing with an alcoholic every day is hard on the other side . It drains all of your emotions , you stop caring .
I know both sides . My family got sick of me too . It's not fair - Not at all . Just try hard to understand - how hard it was for them to see you go through it . It brakes them apart . Instead of fighting it give them space only thing you can do .
Mine is giving me my space , he will stay away so I can breath & not deal with it everyday . It's getting better ....Patience
I sobered up , my partner has been trying . More on then off , & I felt like kicking him to the curb many times . We met drinking , he has almost caused me to relapse a few times . In my 2 years of sobriety . Dealing with an alcoholic every day is hard on the other side . It drains all of your emotions , you stop caring .I know both sides . My family got sick of me too . It's not fair - Not at all . Just try hard to understand - how hard it was for them to see you go through it . It brakes them apart . Instead of fighting it give them space only thing you can do .
Mine is giving me my space , he will stay away so I can breath & not deal with it everyday . It's getting better ....Patience
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: St Paul
Posts: 10
No it's not selfish at all. Though I would advise to be respectful and honest and considerate of their feelings. That is the risk we take when we start a relationship and if you come to realize it's not so good it would be unfair to continue.
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