OfEpiphany

49 days in, I want some beer dude. Everything to me is sooooo pointless, like I cannot for the life of me pick up any hobbies. I can't stand another hike, the same path i've hiked a thousand times. Jogging, exercise, food, eating the same crap. Over and over and over again. I can't relate to anyone, I don't have anything to say...

Nothing man, nothing sounds appealing to me, it never did, and it never will...

..Last year when I turned 27, I told myself that my 27th year will not be the same; I will not have repeated the same cycle of booze and bad decisions like my previous year.

I wouldn't say it was a complete failure. I drank a handful of times, which was a lot better than drinking every weekend. Now that I'm 49 days into my 28th year, I told myself that I wouldn't drink at all this year. But today, a nice sunny Saturday, I can't help but think about dulling my senses for the day.

I wrote a couple books; one has been out for over a year, the other I just recently finished. Am I allowed to post the titles here?

Soberwolf

49 days is fantastic I'm 33 & it was sunny where I was too drinking isn't the answer bud here's some useful links

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

As for books check these links

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rituality.html

The Book Club - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

IOAA2

Hi and good on your 49 days.

Stopping drinking and recovery are separate processes. Recovery can’t come without stopping drinking if you’re an alcoholic.
Recovery is a long lasting process in which we work on changing the person who was drinking or a miserable life continues, I call it a dry drunk, acting and reacting the same as when we were drinking.
The changes we make are individual like fears we live with, control issues, emotional triggers, negative thinking and on and on.

Alcoholism is progressive and always waiting for our guard to be down and will grab us in a heartbeat.

BE WELL

D122y

ask dee if you can post the titles of your books here....

It sounds like you are not ready to quit....

I can't relate...I am ready to quit...

Did you read this....?

AA BB, Bill.s Story,.pg. 13, para. 2

D122y

It negative effects are progressing....

I couldn't take it anymore at 50...that is why the are so many oldies in AA...the youngster s can power through the withdrawal s...

D122y

First off though...awesome on 49 days...it is all mindwork now....

doggonecarl

Over and over and over again...probably describes the drinking that brought you here. Why don't you see drinking as pointless as the sober activities you are engaged in.

Forty nine days is great, but still early in recovery. Stick it out. Remember your promise: "I told myself that I wouldn't drink at all this year."

Don't let yourself down.

teatreeoil007

You are young...and wise to look at your drinking and other issues as you are now. You sound very down...and it could be depression, so a visit to the Dr. might be good. I've been told it is not usual to feel a void in your life when you give up a substance. Maybe the trick is to find ways to substitute alcohol with things you may enjoy that are much more healthy. Wishing you the best.

sugarbear1

You do sound very down. I know for me, when I stopped drinking, things didn't get bright and rosy at once, it took time. I had to re-learn how to live without drinking. I drank when I was down and I drank when I was feeling good.

Today, I feel great most of the time and have a life I never thought possible, only because I stopped drinking. Unfortunately, I began to stop drinking around the age of 25, and like you, I didn't stop....fast forward 25 years in the future, and needless to say, I had to rebuild my life at the age of 50. I am doing it now, 4+ years sober and finally feeling comfortable in my own skin.

I hope you can stop and stay stopped now. Things can and do get worse for many of us, if we make it alive.

I wish you well on your sober journey!

scaredikklegoth

I'm also 28 and I got liver pain for the first time recently and that's what scared me into stopping. I have major depression (chemical adn situational unfortunately) and it is one of the worst things for making you drink. 'Everything is crap and pointless, just like life, so **** it, why not get hammered?' I've had this argument with myself so many times and, when I'm really low, it feels impossible not to give in. But, it's gonna kill me. It kills millions of people every year and it's so insidious.

49 days is amazing, I'm only on Day 5! You can keep going. I also think perhaps looking into depression treatment might help you so that everything doesn't seem quite so crap as it does now.

Good luck ^_^

entropy1964

Congrats on 49 days. You're young and have lots of life and youth to create a new life, and a new perspective on that life.

Day to day life is, well, sometimes repetitive. Boring? I don't know....that's perspective and judgment. I often feel dissatisfied. But I realize that is because I need to take action and create 'life' in my life. And guess what? Sometimes life is just boring. For me that's ok. I'm 50 and have had LOTS of excitement, drama and intrigue in my life. Marriages, widowed, kid, tech job, lots of global travel....LOTS of drinking. But altering my state of my does not make what I'm doing any less boring, it simply changes my perspective and understanding....and now just gives me drama and pain to mull over so I guess that 's not boring. But it is toxic....and deadly.

I'm rambling. Beer won't help. Trust me on that one. Don't wait until you're 50 to figure that out

Dee74

I used to ask myself what the point was too...I never knew the answer then.

I do now - the point is the decisions you make right now can influence your future for years to come.

The point is that you matter.

The point is you chart your own course - so it makes sense to make good decisions.

I drank for 20 years - it took me a lot longer than 49 days to feel good, but I believed the folks here who said things would get better if I stayed sober and continued working on myself and who I wanted to be.

They were right

We all have low points especially in early recovery, but there's no answers back the way we came.

Have faith - things are going to be OK.

D

ps PM me on the books and why you want to list the titles here.

Rar

Hang in there OfEpiphany. 49 days is great. Read posts and the helpful links. Post often, Educate yourself as much as you can. Do anything - just don't drink. Drinking is not going to help anything. You will feel worse, not only physically, but emotionally because you will have disappointed yourself. We're here for you.

OfEpiphany

Thanks for the replies. I'll take your guys' word for it and be patient for now. I tell myself that a year from now, I'll be glad that I didn't cave in. And from what you guys are saying, even though I feel pessimistic about things, I believe you.

I think things will get better not because one person says it does, but I've noticed the trend that many of you say it does, even if it feels grim at the start of it.

Rar

YAY! Be sure to post, though if you feel the need.

advbike

Dude, you are awesome! Great post. Honest and open. You have a great attitude. I only wish I could have quit earlier.. it took me years.. every year repeating the same bad patterns, making the same New year's resolutions.. only to fail 30 or 60 days in.

In AA they emphasize 90 days.. there's a reason for that. You will begin to experience a shift in your thinking by then, and realize more benefits. Fewer cravings. You're more than halfway there at this point. I sincerely hope you can make it and begin to experience the joy of sobriety.

MIRecovery

Unfortunately it is up to us to rebuild a sober life. There is a whole world of sober activites out there and it is up to you to find ones you enjoy because no one can do it for you.

If what you are doing isn't working it is time to try something else.

For me I developed a large social network through AA. Today I had a great day. A couple of months ago one of my buddies moved about 60 miles away. So this morning 4 of us had a booze cruise without the booze. We met him at a meeting, talked to some wonderful new people, and went out to a great lunch.

My life today is rich and full but it took work to find it

Soberwolf

thomas11

Some solid words of advice right there. Hang in there. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Congratulations on writing books. How about tackling a third book? Do yourself a HUGE favor, don't drink, it will make everything worse. You know that. right?

Nonsensical

This is a cognitive bias known as the availability heuristic - the tendency to give heavier weight to thoughts/feelings because of their relative availability. i.e. You were bored when you wrote your post - therefore you believe you will always be bored.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Availability_heuristic

You might also want to read about impact bias.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impact_bias

If you're so inclined, google "anhedonia and addiction". You'll find some explanations as to why nothing seems thrilling in early sobriety.

It gets better.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.