Who is the biggest, most important influencer in your life of recovery?
Do your best
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Who is the biggest, most important influencer in your life of recovery?
Big shout to ArochaLB as I saw this as a test question yesterday and thought what a great question right ?
My answer is anyone & everyone involved in my recovery from the fire services ambulance services to the hospitals to the nurses & Dr's
Local drug & alcohol services in my area I made full use
To AA who helped me immensely
To my Dr's surgery
My family
To SR who saved me when I was lost at sea at 13 months sober
To Dee74, Opivotal & Anna especially thank you for everything
To all my friends you know who you are I love you all
To every single member here for helping me to see myself
And finally to ArochaLB for him & his tech team for making such a awesome question & for everything you guys do behind the scenes
My answer is anyone & everyone involved in my recovery from the fire services ambulance services to the hospitals to the nurses & Dr's
Local drug & alcohol services in my area I made full use
To AA who helped me immensely
To my Dr's surgery
My family
To SR who saved me when I was lost at sea at 13 months sober
To Dee74, Opivotal & Anna especially thank you for everything
To all my friends you know who you are I love you all
To every single member here for helping me to see myself
And finally to ArochaLB for him & his tech team for making such a awesome question & for everything you guys do behind the scenes
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
I responded to the community poll with 2 answers, the best way of putting it is my dad defined my past, and SR defined my future, both have contributed to my recovery!!
But if I was to pick 1 then it would be Team SR for the win!!
But if I was to pick 1 then it would be Team SR for the win!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Great idea, SW, to answer the "test question" 
It's a very good one for me, I feel, because it reminds me of the contrast between my younger self and the current version (not necessarily recovery-related in general, but in part it is).
When I was young, I never consciously had any sort of role model and I never identified as the kind of person who would tend to very much admire any particular person or let anyone influence me much. The sense of self as I was growing up and in my youth was very much of the hardcore individualist's, and I still retain a lot of that feature and pattern. However, I also realized as I grew older that there were quite a few people who influenced me strongly, much more strongly than I was ever aware of as a youth. I think I had a good dose of denial on this because I wanted to be independent and my own person so much and follow no one but my own heart.
Well, that "following" got seriously beaten by the things that happened during the years of my alcoholic drinking life. So, finally learned some humility, especially in early recovery. Then I started to dig deeper and discovered many things about influences and influencers...
The earliest one in my life was definitely my father, who actually remained that way till the end, except maybe most of my teen years. I had a few mentors (in schools and in other professional contexts) who had a strong and lasting impact on me and I certainly sought out mentors throughout my life, there is no way to deny that pattern in retrospect. I just did not usually perceive them much as authority figures at their time because usually the relationships and communications quickly balanced to a mutually interesting and beneficial state, but strictly speaking they were people who taught me extremely important and meaningful lessons about a variety of areas (including "ordinary" life experience).
I think I had a few years of vacuum in this sense when my drinking was at its worst and I suffered a heavy and stubborn period of existential crisis... no one to identify with, seek out as a source of comfort and wisdom. I have only fully realized recently how devastating the lack of such figures in my life was back then.
In recovery from my alcoholism and recently? SR in general for recovery and a community I felt I fit in and belonged from Day 0 of my sobriety. I want to mention one person who played a special role for me in many ways here: RobbyRobot -- yet another father/mentor figure for me in the virtual world. As general models for other things, two people from work: one is the head of one of the departments I am affiliated with at work and the other started out as a supervisor, now we are more collaborators. In many ways the therapist I have been working with since early this year, and that just seems expanding and becoming more a mutual influence like the mentors in my youth I would say. I also feel that with my good friends we are usually important influencers, again, typically mutually, and this can involve people from both my 3D and purely virtual worlds. I will say my husband (whom I only recently married) is now my best friend and that mutual influence definitely applies there, it's been over years now and he saw me both at some of my worst as an alcoholic and what came of it by now. Our yet unborn child.
Other than these, people I encounter all over the space and time spectrum in everyday reality... I really feel that I am a receptive person and I had no idea about this when I was very young!
Thanks again for the thread, SW, it's nice to review these things and acknowledge others every day. Acknowledging this, to me, expands the view of myself, the world, my connections, and emphasizes interdependence over independence -- something that has become very important for me in recent years and in my recovery.
It's a very good one for me, I feel, because it reminds me of the contrast between my younger self and the current version (not necessarily recovery-related in general, but in part it is). When I was young, I never consciously had any sort of role model and I never identified as the kind of person who would tend to very much admire any particular person or let anyone influence me much. The sense of self as I was growing up and in my youth was very much of the hardcore individualist's, and I still retain a lot of that feature and pattern. However, I also realized as I grew older that there were quite a few people who influenced me strongly, much more strongly than I was ever aware of as a youth. I think I had a good dose of denial on this because I wanted to be independent and my own person so much and follow no one but my own heart.
Well, that "following" got seriously beaten by the things that happened during the years of my alcoholic drinking life. So, finally learned some humility, especially in early recovery. Then I started to dig deeper and discovered many things about influences and influencers...
The earliest one in my life was definitely my father, who actually remained that way till the end, except maybe most of my teen years. I had a few mentors (in schools and in other professional contexts) who had a strong and lasting impact on me and I certainly sought out mentors throughout my life, there is no way to deny that pattern in retrospect. I just did not usually perceive them much as authority figures at their time because usually the relationships and communications quickly balanced to a mutually interesting and beneficial state, but strictly speaking they were people who taught me extremely important and meaningful lessons about a variety of areas (including "ordinary" life experience).
I think I had a few years of vacuum in this sense when my drinking was at its worst and I suffered a heavy and stubborn period of existential crisis... no one to identify with, seek out as a source of comfort and wisdom. I have only fully realized recently how devastating the lack of such figures in my life was back then.
In recovery from my alcoholism and recently? SR in general for recovery and a community I felt I fit in and belonged from Day 0 of my sobriety. I want to mention one person who played a special role for me in many ways here: RobbyRobot -- yet another father/mentor figure for me in the virtual world. As general models for other things, two people from work: one is the head of one of the departments I am affiliated with at work and the other started out as a supervisor, now we are more collaborators. In many ways the therapist I have been working with since early this year, and that just seems expanding and becoming more a mutual influence like the mentors in my youth I would say. I also feel that with my good friends we are usually important influencers, again, typically mutually, and this can involve people from both my 3D and purely virtual worlds. I will say my husband (whom I only recently married) is now my best friend and that mutual influence definitely applies there, it's been over years now and he saw me both at some of my worst as an alcoholic and what came of it by now. Our yet unborn child.
Other than these, people I encounter all over the space and time spectrum in everyday reality... I really feel that I am a receptive person and I had no idea about this when I was very young!
Thanks again for the thread, SW, it's nice to review these things and acknowledge others every day. Acknowledging this, to me, expands the view of myself, the world, my connections, and emphasizes interdependence over independence -- something that has become very important for me in recent years and in my recovery.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Yup. God.
I'm not very religious, but I have God to thank for making sure I experienced pure hell as a drunk. It was the only way I'd smarten up and save my life and the lives of others. Since then, most my prayers have been answered, so I do thank God a lot.
After that, it's people here. Amp and Cauliflower in my class of April and a new member to our class Stargazer I find to be inspirational. Our drunken paths were eerily similar. Casey in the class of May has also been very inspirational for me. He's a fine specimen of quit.
So many good people here. I have God to thank for making sure I became part of the awesome class of April 2015. Unbelievably grateful for that and unbelievably grateful for SR.
I'm not very religious, but I have God to thank for making sure I experienced pure hell as a drunk. It was the only way I'd smarten up and save my life and the lives of others. Since then, most my prayers have been answered, so I do thank God a lot.
After that, it's people here. Amp and Cauliflower in my class of April and a new member to our class Stargazer I find to be inspirational. Our drunken paths were eerily similar. Casey in the class of May has also been very inspirational for me. He's a fine specimen of quit.
So many good people here. I have God to thank for making sure I became part of the awesome class of April 2015. Unbelievably grateful for that and unbelievably grateful for SR.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Thanks, Wolfie. I think Arochal must have been working on some bugs when the test was posted as Alpha and I responded and then the thread disappeared.
SR has been solely instrumental in my journey as it is a private one for which there has been no similar support system in real life.
So although the entire SR world has been essential to me -- and if I started naming too many, I'd inevitably (and inadvertently) omit some important people -- there are some for whom my gratitude runs especially deep:
- Dee
- Opivotal
- My beloved SR Class of August 2013
SR has been solely instrumental in my journey as it is a private one for which there has been no similar support system in real life.
So although the entire SR world has been essential to me -- and if I started naming too many, I'd inevitably (and inadvertently) omit some important people -- there are some for whom my gratitude runs especially deep:
- Dee
- Opivotal
- My beloved SR Class of August 2013
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 737
This place has held my hand for the past 57 days, such an amazing community.
Dee and Wolfie, y'all reached out to me almost immediately when I joined. It means the world to someone when they're alone and scared. My July class, the weekend bus, 24 hour connections and the diligent folks who make it all happen non stop. Thank you all of you.
Also, AA and my nebulous idea of God resurfacing in my life.
My sober friend J, who is a year ahead of me and reminds me it's not all roses, but it's all good.
Dee and Wolfie, y'all reached out to me almost immediately when I joined. It means the world to someone when they're alone and scared. My July class, the weekend bus, 24 hour connections and the diligent folks who make it all happen non stop. Thank you all of you.
Also, AA and my nebulous idea of God resurfacing in my life.
My sober friend J, who is a year ahead of me and reminds me it's not all roses, but it's all good.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 481
Good thread. I've never really thought about it, but I'd say my partner. She's a non drinker & really encourages me. I also expect myself to be her rock & to lead the relationship - this isn't something I can do very well if I'm drinking. These things combined provide me with a lot of motivation.
Conversely, spending less time with heavy drinkers has played a big role too.
Last but definitely not least, the community here has been massive for me.
Conversely, spending less time with heavy drinkers has played a big role too.
Last but definitely not least, the community here has been massive for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: LBC, CA
Posts: 203
My girlfriend of many years. I complain and whine: "I'm a grown man! I can drink if I want to! You can't tell me what to do!"... noyah she tells me I can't drink. I respect and love her so I do my best to listen to her because I know she means well for my sober interest.
I am not religious but when I became sober the first time around I prayed to God, so I can't say God didn't help me. I will pray again this time around.
My mother. She put up and puts up with my alcoholic dad. I have seen her suffer living with him. I don't want their relationship to be my girl friend and I. All my mom wants is for me to hate the substances that has kept my dad oppressed of any aspirations in life. Little does she know about my struggles with alcohol, and I keep it that way on purpose as to not sadden her heart anymore than it has already. I just want to face her and tell her once again: I don't drink that stuff anymore.
The SR community is fundamental in viewing other circumstances and opening my eyes to a new or better perspective.
I am not religious but when I became sober the first time around I prayed to God, so I can't say God didn't help me. I will pray again this time around.
My mother. She put up and puts up with my alcoholic dad. I have seen her suffer living with him. I don't want their relationship to be my girl friend and I. All my mom wants is for me to hate the substances that has kept my dad oppressed of any aspirations in life. Little does she know about my struggles with alcohol, and I keep it that way on purpose as to not sadden her heart anymore than it has already. I just want to face her and tell her once again: I don't drink that stuff anymore.
The SR community is fundamental in viewing other circumstances and opening my eyes to a new or better perspective.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Team SR all the way with a special shout-out to Dee74, soberwolf, and Incontrol15 for making me realize early on this time how important it was to be active here and help others when I can. Giving it away allows me to keep it myself. This has made all the difference in my recovery. And of course, I love my fellow participants in the May 2015, July 2013, One Year and Under, and the 24 Hour threads. My commitment to the 24 Hour thread literally kept me sober tonight. It's not the first time that SR has done this for me.
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