Having a rough time
 

Hi All. I'm on Day 11 today. I've been having bad cravings all afternoon. I read that they only last 20 minutes, but that doesn't seem to be the case today. It's not anxiety, but a true craving for a drink. I've tried all sorts of things - vacuuming, clothes washing, reading SR, walking the dog and now trying to watch a movie. All I can think about it having a beer. Hubby just got home from work and just grabbed a beer, heading up to the shower. He will drink the rest of the evening. Right now I'm sipping on seltzer water while Hubby is drinking and it's not very satisfying. :(

No matter how long they last, remember that cravings are simply feelings. They only exist as thoughts inside your head and they will go away. You have 100% control over how you react to them.

Also remember that you are on day 11. That's a great accomplishment but still very, very early in sobriety. These feelings will subside both in intensity and regularity over time.

Read some posts and write here, join the chatroom read a book, take a nap...lots of things you could do. Also make sure you aren't hungry....hunger pains can feel a lot like cravings too.

As Scott said, cravings are just feelings and they don't control you. You can feel them and let them go. Getting through the cravings without acting on them is the best way to lessen their impact on you.

Can you find something to do so that you're not watching your husband drink all evening? Hang in there, it will get better.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

Congrats on day 11 you can do try these links they really work

Have you told him you are trying to quit?

Remember how crummy you're going to feel tomorrow if you cave in today.

Green tea used to help me stave off the craving.

Hang in there!

Both links were very helpful Soberwolf. I'm trying to feel my feelings and have identified them as merely feeling sorry for myself. I woke up feeling sorry for myself.

Let me back up - I was diagnosed as a diabetic last year. My treatment is diet and exercise. Last night I made a dish I love and haven't eaten in well over a year. I thought I would try it and I ate only a moderate portion, but my blood sugar skyrocketed. I had to 'walk it off'. Needless to say, I won't be eating that again anytime soon. So, this morning, I'm thinking about all the things I can't eat, then I'm thinking about not being able to drink. As it got closer to dinner, I'm serving Hubby the leftovers of last night's dinner, while I have a salad. Meanwhile, he's drinking until dinner is ready. Yup - I'm having a pity party and I feel like crying.

Rar, it's so hard when your spouse is still drinking but you can get through it. I was going to suggest ice cream for the craving but if you're watching your sugar, that won't help. Do you have any sugar free candy around? Maybe it would help. Or drink a diet soda?

Hang in there.

Yes, I have. However, I have not asked him to avoid drinking in front of me. I feel at our ages, it's not fair to put the same restrictions on his life that I have to have in mine.

Not much to add other than I'm rooting for you. Imagine how positive you'll feel once you get through this period.

Is he an alcoholic? Does he know it is hard for you, and that it is potentially life threatening if you relapse bc of the diabetes? Can he move his drinking into a garage, or basement, or just in the other room where you dont have to see it?

Maybe I am just lucky that my wife offered to quit with me- although she hardly drinks so its not really quitting for her...

Thank you Ruby. Diabetes is a disease of carbohydrate intolerance and sugar is a carb. Lots of things can be sugar free, but they contain carbs. I think tomorrow I will buy some sugar free candy and maybe a couple diet sodas to see if they help. Also, there is low carb ice cream. I might be able to get away with 1/2 cup.

Stevia has a soda that is actually pretty good IMO. Im not sure if that fits into your diet or not.

There are a lot of cool things to do with salads, but I understand your frustration at not being able to eat what you love. I have a few food intolerance that really hinders what I can eat and it sucks sometimes watch others eat what I cant have. But it gets easier over time because what other choice do you have?

That is so rough with beer being right there. I've been pondering the drink too. More than normal. I think what happens to me is I start to entertain it....as opposed to observing it and quickly letting it go by. When the desire sticks around longer, I know its not a craving. Its the obsession...and for me those are very different things. I am a bit down and lonely right now. No one would know, or care, if I drank..except for me. I know that I will be lonely and down with alcohol, or without, so why risk it? I think about tomorrow and waking up feeling good. I play the tape through to the end. What if tonight isn't the only night? How will I handle the hangover? I will miss hot yoga, which I love more than drinking.

I know in order to stay sober I have to do just that. Sometimes its hard. I won't drink tonight. I can't. I hope you can stay strong.

I wonder sometimes if he is an alcoholic as well, or if he is just a habit drinker. He drinks a lot, but seems to be able to stop, where I can't. In the last 3 days he's consumed over 40 beers. However, tonight he limited it to 5 because he has to work tomorrow. Hard to say.

Regarding the diabetes, I actually had good readings when I drank. It seems ones liver is so busy processing the alcohol, it doesn't have time to get to the carbs. After I quit, my glucose increased, so I have to watch my carbs even more carefully.

I don't eat sugar either or any processed food. Its a once in a while (and that means a few times a year) thing. Its hard. But I find that if I eat lots of lean/quality protein and plenty of healthy fat (like avocados/nuts/good oils) I crave sugar far less. Be sure and add a lot of protein to that salad...eggs are great too. I'm sure you're doing this. But I've found when I'm really cutting fat for example, my sugar cravings go way up. Good fats are good and don't make me fat. I have to remember that.

Rar
Sorry to hear you're having a rough day, but this too shall pass? Yes?
It sounds like the AV has really latched onto the "have to" , depriving yourself point of view. Maybe try combating those thoughts and feelings with a more pro-rar stance. You choose to not drink because of all the reasons that make for a better , healthier, and yes even eventually a happier Rar.
The present is the only time we can act , the idea of controlling 'now' helped me when building sober muscle. And sometimes the nows come closer together and too often for comfort, but they can be dealt with, you got this . Keep making good choices , because you want to, not just because you 'have to'(that's the AV)
Wish you well

11 days is an awesome accomplishment, great start ! :c011:

Many quit with a drinking loved one or spouse under the same roof. It can be done, sounds like you are determined - good for you.

Have you ever considered an outside support group of some sort?? It helped / helps me to be face to face with others in recovery along with SR.

You're not alone - lot's of us old drunks on here to help each other!

Keep coming back, welcome

Try to focus on the reasons why you've quit and all the good things it will bring into your life.

Thanks Everyone. :c017: I'm over my selfish pity party, More importantly, I'm over my craving thanks to all of you. I need to work more on handling my cravings. I like the links Soberwolf sent and will study them more in depth tonight. Thank you all again. I appreciate all of you. :)