I need a swift kick in the butt!
Sober Soldier
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
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I need a swift kick in the butt!
Hi everyone!
I'm back.
Again.
Because I've been doing some drinking.
I'm done trying to find meaning behind my urges. In my last Hey-I'm-back post I said that I believed that the only reason I had to drink was because I was holding onto my past. Although I feel like I still tend to associate the desire to drink with my past (holding on to my old partying days), everything in my life is going in the direction I want it to. So I definitely don't see a void to fulfill. I love the way my life is going right now, why should I want to turn back?
The other thing is most times I drink I don't drink enough to be really hungover the next day. I stop myself, but still wake up disappointed with myself for going near the stuff at all.
The only logical solution I can think of is that I need to soldier up, buckle down, and just resist the urges, and not worry about any deeper meaning behind them. I need to stop backing down like a coward everytime that AV runs its mouth inside my head.
I just need to not drink. Ever. Period.
I'm back.
Again.
Because I've been doing some drinking.
I'm done trying to find meaning behind my urges. In my last Hey-I'm-back post I said that I believed that the only reason I had to drink was because I was holding onto my past. Although I feel like I still tend to associate the desire to drink with my past (holding on to my old partying days), everything in my life is going in the direction I want it to. So I definitely don't see a void to fulfill. I love the way my life is going right now, why should I want to turn back?
The other thing is most times I drink I don't drink enough to be really hungover the next day. I stop myself, but still wake up disappointed with myself for going near the stuff at all.
The only logical solution I can think of is that I need to soldier up, buckle down, and just resist the urges, and not worry about any deeper meaning behind them. I need to stop backing down like a coward everytime that AV runs its mouth inside my head.
I just need to not drink. Ever. Period.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back MNS. I found that it was impossible for me to "outthink" my addiction too. I also gave up on trying to find out "why" I was alcoholic...because in a roundabout way I wanted to know "why" in the hope that I could then fix the problem and return to drinking like a regular person.
The logical solution you suggest was what finally worked for me too. Accepting that I was an alcoholic and doing everything in my power to move forward without alcohol. I also had to accept that simply "not drinking" is not the solution - it's certainly part of it...but I needed to find healthy ways to deal with life. Because there will be bad days and stress and all the things that we ran away to a bottle and hid from, we now need to deal with them upfront.
It's definitely worth the effort though, I hope you can find a way to move forward and do stick around here for support.
The logical solution you suggest was what finally worked for me too. Accepting that I was an alcoholic and doing everything in my power to move forward without alcohol. I also had to accept that simply "not drinking" is not the solution - it's certainly part of it...but I needed to find healthy ways to deal with life. Because there will be bad days and stress and all the things that we ran away to a bottle and hid from, we now need to deal with them upfront.
It's definitely worth the effort though, I hope you can find a way to move forward and do stick around here for support.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
mns,
have you checked out the AVRT and Rational Recovery threads in the "secular connections" forum? that might be right up your alley. read up on the Big Plan. the entire concept there is to make up your mind to never ever drink again and then to never change your mind.
have you checked out the AVRT and Rational Recovery threads in the "secular connections" forum? that might be right up your alley. read up on the Big Plan. the entire concept there is to make up your mind to never ever drink again and then to never change your mind.
Sober Soldier
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Join Date: Nov 2014
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Indeed Scott! I may even start an accountability thread for myself to really stay focused. But I actually took a major step in reducing the amount of stress in my schedule. Because I am now making enough money doing what I love, I handed in my resignation from my last night shift job I've worked since high school/college. So I now can work on a normal schedule all week and not feel like I'm playing catchup on sleep all the time. I already feel like a huge poundage has been lifted from my shoulders!
Fini, a number if people have suggested that to me. I think I'm finally gonna give those a read. Thanks!
Fini, a number if people have suggested that to me. I think I'm finally gonna give those a read. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: baltimore, maryland
Posts: 463
Mns, The most important thing is that you are BACK. Some never make it back because they got tired of trying. This is a heavyweight bout.....don't give up. Beat that "AV" back to it's corner and keep it there. It will always be in the ring , just keep it on the ropes. I convinced myself that I am "allergic" to alcohol. If I was allergic to bee stings I surely wouldn't want to be around bees! Best Wishes..
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Mns, I can think of few if any benefits of drinking but that never stopped me. Those opioid receptors in my brain sure as anything resulted in my craving alcohol. Once I finally accepted that, taking drinking off the table and out of my life became the obvious decision.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Finding meaning behind your urges is a great place to start. Knowing your triggers...and WHY you feel the urge to drink. Is it boredom, loneliness, stress, pain, grief, wanting to escape,wanting to feel numb. Then having a plan in place when those triggers come up. Seems they can pop up at any time. Don't give up. Being sober is having serenity in your life.
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Thanks BBQBOY! And don't worry. I may keep slipping up but I sure as hell am never giving up.
Thank you so much for the kind words SoberLeigh!
I agree Saskia, drinking is doing nothing to further my career or my life. That's why I'm going to just accept that urges are going to come up here and my only two choices will be to give in or stand firm.
Thank you teatreeoil! I have come to find that there are no specific triggers for me. I rewound the point that I drank again over and over and I cannot connect the dots. Things will be going great and all of the sudden that old AV is whispering in my ear again. I could say stress, but avoiding stress as a trigger is impossible if I want to acheive anything in life. And I've become much better at dealing with it. But don't worry, giving up has never been an option for me, not with sobriety and not in life.
I'm going to give AVRT and Rational Recovery a read.
Thank you so much for the kind words SoberLeigh!
I agree Saskia, drinking is doing nothing to further my career or my life. That's why I'm going to just accept that urges are going to come up here and my only two choices will be to give in or stand firm.
Thank you teatreeoil! I have come to find that there are no specific triggers for me. I rewound the point that I drank again over and over and I cannot connect the dots. Things will be going great and all of the sudden that old AV is whispering in my ear again. I could say stress, but avoiding stress as a trigger is impossible if I want to acheive anything in life. And I've become much better at dealing with it. But don't worry, giving up has never been an option for me, not with sobriety and not in life.
I'm going to give AVRT and Rational Recovery a read.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
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Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by mns1 
Drinking is doing nothing to further my career or my life. That's why I'm going to just accept that urges are going to come up here and my only two choices will be to give in or stand firm.
I'm going to give AVRT and Rational Recovery a read.
I'm going to give AVRT and Rational Recovery a read.
Here is a link for you. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
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Glad to see you mns. 
I never knew specifically why I drank either. Things would be going good & then out of the blue I'd start up again. Self sabotage that makes no sense. It was so good to finally get free and stop imagining that it could ever be fun again. You can do it.
I never knew specifically why I drank either. Things would be going good & then out of the blue I'd start up again. Self sabotage that makes no sense. It was so good to finally get free and stop imagining that it could ever be fun again. You can do it.
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Originally Posted by Fly N Buy
I just( choose to ) need to not drink. Ever(Today)Period(Comma)
I found this simpler and easier after trying many, many times.............
I found this simpler and easier after trying many, many times.............
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Originally Posted by soberwolf
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