Soberwolf

Hi Slugger did you change your name ? I had to drop a few friends & places while I focused on my recovery having a plan helped me with this

Welcome Snuffleupagus youl find lots of support here

To all the newcomers in this thread

NestWasEmpty

Slugger I have to agree with soberwolf I too had to stay away from drinking friends . The temptation in early sobriety is a challenge in itself . I just informed them if you want to truly be my friend , come visit without alcohol . Of course some can handle it , but have a plan just in case

CaliButterfly

Early in sobriety, it helps to avoid social situations where alcohol is involved. My friends initially didn't drink around me (when I had a year of sobriety a few years back), and I didn't go to social gatherings where alcohol was served. After a few months, I was able to go to a bar on occasion, and be around people that drank. My downfall was becoming complacent and thinking I can go back to being a social drinker. BIG MISTAKE for me. Many alcoholics convince themselves that they can moderate after a period of sobriety, but that's a slippery slope, and it's common to drink more than they did before. Stay away from it at all costs in the beginning, until you feel strong enough that it doesn't cross your mind to falter. Your true friends will respect your decision.

startingover02

Welcome newcomers. I am on day 2 (again) and am determined to make things work. I also struggle with the socialising with friends thing. Lately (I did have a couple of weeks sobriety until I relapsed on Sunday) I've been meeting up with my friends who have babies/young children more; understandably they don't want to hang out in pubs. I've also been going around to people's houses; ensuring that I suggest it's 'for a cuppa' before I go or inviting them to my house for a bite as I know I don't have drink in. If I invite them during the day it's unlikely they will bring wine with them.

If I have a day out with someone I'm looking to do outdoorsy things or am heading to places where families would go like the zoo or the beach. I know alcohol won't be a temptation there. My main battle is the shops though I find it so easy to slip into grabbing a bottle of wine at the final second before the till and this really needs to stop. I need to ensure I'm writing shopping lists and going with people who know about my struggle so that I won't cave.

Slugger

Thanks all! I will try and stay away until I feel better about my situation. I just learned my youngest brother is struggling with this horrible addiction. I was asked to talk to home but I feel I need to fix me first. Is that wrong? I don't know what to do? Anyone?
When it rains it pours!

ccam1973

Slugger, welcome. I think the "fix me first" attitude is what you need to get yourself better. You're no good to anyone else, your brother included, unless you dig deep down and get to a place that you want to be. I don't feel this is a selfish attitude, but a necessary recovery mechanism.

This is a tough battle, but one that is definitely achievable with hard work and will power. You need to focus on you right now.

CaliButterfly

It is true that you can't help him until you fix yourself first. Kind of like the airplane oxygen mask.... BUT, you can talk to him and tell him that while you don't have any answers or advice, you are there to talk to him because you're going through the same thing. He could feel comforted not being alone.

thomas11

Hi Slugger, no it is not wrong. You cannot help others until you fix yourself. I personally believe that getting sober requires some selfishness, but the end does justify the means. I have had a few occasions where I had gotten into heavy drinking over a long weekend or whatever and come Sunday, Monday, and maybe even Tuesday I just kept to myself, locked myself in the house, turned the phone off and simply did whatever I had to do to heal. It was the only way I could return to life. A 2-3 day timeout is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You are doing great, and doing the right thing.

Slugger

4 days in and feeling good...
One thing that I find myself constantly thinking about is going on vacations. My wife and I vacation a lot with my oldest brother and his girlfriend. We have a great time. With or without drink. I haven't told him that I've stopped drinking and not sure what his reaction will be. Although for some reason I won't drink as much as if I would with other people. Don't understand that one.
Thanks again to all the encouraging replies. They really help.

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 4 bud

Dee74

I had to stop worrying about peoples reactions, slugger.
when's your vacation coming up?

D

Incontrol15

Good for you slugger! You're doing great.
Everything may be hard at first. Social situations, vacations, what ever. They key is to be committed to your decision and follow through. You'll be really happy you did and these situations will become easier and better.

It didn't take me all that long to say "I don't drink" proudly. I love saying. "I don't drink!" That's all. No further explanation required. If they ask I'll say because it's bad for me. No argument there! A bit of an understatement for sure.

Keep up the great work slugger.

MIRecovery

Recovery is about change and for me that meant staying away from people who drank and places where alcohol was present.

I prefer to nurture my sobriety not challenge it.

melki

I think this means they are great company and you don't need alcohol to enjoy time with them.

Good going on day 4!

leviathan

Welcome!

Bellamiaa

Maybe you can talk to your brother and you both can do this together! Good luck

Slugger

5 days in. Again feeling good. A little to good because I'm eating everything I don't normally eat. Yikes! I've gained a few pounds. But I guess thTs better than drinking! It's Friday and this will be my first weekend going into it sober. Feeling confident but still a little anxious. That may sound like an oxymoron. Thanks again to all the support.

Soberwolf

Keep up the excellent work Slugger

jryan19982

All sounds about normal to me. Some people lose weight some people gain it, some people dont have hardly any changes in weight. We are all unique.

Make sure you keep yourself busy this weekend. Weekends are the hardest time IMO to NOT drink. Get out to places that people dont drink at like the movie theatres. Although I was in one a few months ago that served you alcohol- weird. Or go hiking, biking, go to a high school football game, just do stuff, even if they arent your favorite things to do. Go to the library, to the mall... just keep busy.

I hope you and your brother are doing well.

Slugger

Thanks jryan. I am going to the movies tomorrow to see Black Mass and do plan on keeping busy. Brother is good. He realizes he has a problem. It's in our family history. But I commended him on realizing that.