SoberLeigh

I am so proud of you, Arbor.

Onward, my friend - into a healthy, happy and satisfyingly sober future.

Hawkeye13

I could not think in terms of "forever" either at first.

So I promised myself 1 year, no drinking no matter what.

At the end of the year, I felt so much better and was so happy sober
I just extended my "contract with myself".

You'll be amazed what even six months of real recovery / sobriety will do for you and for your attitude towards "losing booze".

You may not even care much anymore.

ccam1973

A lot of good advise here Arbor. I can't look at it forever either. But I know this, I'm way happier now that I'm not drinking than I was for the 21+ years I spent in a bottle.

I still choose to be sober one day at a time... but the more days that add up, the more I can see myself being sober for the long haul.

For a person with this addiction, absolutely nothing good, rewarding or beneficial will ever come from taking one more drink.

You've got a lot of supporters here. Lean on us as much as you need.

jezza

Hi Arbor.... I've been where you are so many times. I thought the same, this is my life & will never stop until the drink kills me. Believe me, I have the willpower of a lemming!!! I would like to say I reached rock bottom but rock bottom is very different for all of us.. Mine was the withdrawal & some other things, I really could not handle it anymore... I was so ill on my last withdrawal that I couldn't drink & once it passed I thought to myself I havn't had a drink for 4 days.. OK I was sick but I didn't drink!! that started the ball rolling & I'm happy to say I am still clean & plan to stay clean... Please remember, you're not alone, most of us have been there... Be strong & keep posting. You'll be surprised how much it helps.

Arbor

I was sober roughly nine months. I lost it in June after we had our second child. Anyone that has a baby can relate to the stress and shear amount of work and responsibility it takes.

I saw the gaps in my plan, but didn't care and drank anyway. I felt drinking was my one and only flaw as a person so why not? No ones perfect.

I also see now how important it was for me to let my family know. My parents, in laws, siblings. My family is my rock. The single most important and influential force in my life. I was always very afraid to have that conversation. I didn't want to hurt anyone with my problem. It really came down to the wire for me yesterday. Maybe someone out there is looking out for me I dunno. Very grateful to have come this far in the two years I've known I'm alcoholic.

SoberLeigh

I am going to enjoy watching the rest of your journey, Arbor; it is going to be amazing.

VikingGF

I think maybe you have to look at it as, "What am I giving up?" Is beer really making your life better? Isn't everything that happens while you're drinking a lie? It's not making you funnier, smarter or happier. It sucks away your health, money, memory and family. While drinking, we can't connect to people, we can't solve problems or learn new things. It's not relaxing- it's tranquilizing. It stops everything, and increases anxiety and self-loathing. Alcohol is a lie, it's best you have decided to leave it behind. But think of what you are GAINING, not what you are losing. Because you are losing nothing!!

Best to you- you can do this thing.

fini

great step, Arbor, to tell in person.
that took guts!

what's your plan about how to move on now?

Arbor

What's up fini? Thanks for reaching out.

Right now I'm just taking it day by day. My last drink was over the weekend. Gonna give myself a week to dry out and start feeling better mentally and physically before I jump into any therapy. I'd like to go back to AA. Went to one meeting a month or so ago and really connected with a few folks. Also searched for therapists in my area. Hopefully I can land one that accepts my insurance.

The big thing now is that my family has my back. There's no where to hide now.

SnoozyQ

I'm so glad you let your Mum know , that's a huge move.

Believe me , you can do this all that lays ahead is grief sadness & feelings of failure . The sooner you stop the healthier your body & brain and logical thinking will be.

None of us drinkers can think normally or rationally with a toxic brain. , I'm so proud of you for confiding in Mum . That took a lot of courage .

You deserve peace xxxx :-)

thomas11

Arbor, sounds like its been quite the tug of war with alcohol. Certainly not unusual, many of us have been there or are there now. Glad you have additional support and taking it a day at a time. We believe in you. I wish you the best.

Dee74

What if this is exactly what your inner addict wants you to do Arbor?

wait until you feel better so that you can rationalise that you weren't that bad, or that your level of effort is fine as it is, or you won't have to change things as much as you thought?

Don't wait arbor - hunt this thing down and beat it.

D

Boxer

Wow, that just struck a chord... It couldn't be more true.

Arbor

I thought someone might call me out on that statement Dee. You might be right. I've thought of that. It's just the way I felt today when I wrote that. Things change day by day each and every day. It's not like I'm not doing anything. Getting lots of support through my family at the moment.

fini

it's because things and feelings change day by day that a stick-to-plan-and-routine-and-such are a good thing to put in place.

Bellamiaa

Agree!!

Arbor

Okay. Specifics? If I get an urge or a change of thought that suggests drinking I make a call. I call a family member or choose from the list of cell phone numbers I got from AA members last time I went. I also check in here everyday no matter what to stay focussed. This is all new additional support I've never had before. It's very powerful.

Nows not the time to feel overwhelmed with feeling like I'm not doing enough.

letitgo

Sounds like a solid plan to me.

fini

that sounds great, Arbor. reaching out and using the people who are a support.

Arbor

What are some of the other things you did fini early on?