mechanicpsyco

Had been doing pretty well for months and had started drinking, just a little at a time. Wife and I had a spat and I ended up asleep in a company truck at 3am.
Scared the hell out of me. this could of ended up so much worse, I could of killed someone.
I have learned one thing from all of this, I cant drink at all, not even a little bit, when I do I have no control, I really cant stop.
Had the talk with the wife and she has agreed I cant be trusted when I am drinking.
Thanks for listening to me rant!!

Soberwolf

Good time to revise a plan my friend

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Maffers

You and me both. It took enough times of thinking I could handle the rocket fuel and thought, hey I'm not drunk, I'm in control. You know the lies we tell ourselves that hey we can handle it. That if I have a little bit, know one the wiser. Cept it creeps in and that little bit turns into more and more yet we still feel we got a handle on it, yet alcohol has taken over. I'm truly convinced of once our frontal cortex is effected by it we revert to our lizard brain. Numbs us and dumbs us down till all we crave is that next hit of the sauce.

Hevyn

Yes, mechanic - that's what we finally have to admit. I wasted so many years insisting I could still have some control. Every time it was in my system it led to disaster and danger. Once I accepted that willpower was useless against it, I was able to move forward. Sounds like you're there. Glad to hear it. You can do this.

Dee74

welcome back MP - I agree a plan is essential for success, man.

D

Fly N Buy

Not long ago I could have written this - Highlights sounds like my codes I used;

Had been doing pretty well for months = drinking, but nothing too bad happened. Sometimes I didn't even drink all that much. Maybe I really can moderate - that's a relief. Just need to make sure my wife doesn't find out.......

Wife and I had a spat and I ended up asleep in a company truck at 3am = My wife got angry because I was drinking - which I should not be, got drunk and yelled back.

Scared the hell out of me. this could of ended up so much worse, I could of killed someone = once again, the pattern repeats and likely, predictable consequences are evident. Dodged another bullet - wow!

Had the talk with the wife and she has agreed I cant be trusted when I am drinking = was highly remorseful again and decided that this time will be different and I swear off alcohol for good! I manipulate my wife to believe I really will be different, heck I think I even believe it! Tell my wife that's it, never again. In my mind I'm thinking.........well at least till the holidays maybe. Man, I really need to slow down.

I am not trying to be harsh, just saying you are not alone and all of us have gone through this progression of alcoholism to varying degrees.

For me, I had to accept I was indeed an alcoholic and had to seek outside help. I could not simply will my alcoholism away, and frankly I don't need to do this alone. There is SR and other methods of face to face support.

I simply need to have the willingness to recognize it was time to change - time to grow up......

keep coming back, friend

Anna

I think it's so frightening to lose control, which I did when I was drinking, and to have to admit it, in order to heal.

You'll find lots of support here.