jryan19982

I slipped up last night so im off to AA hung over.

I dont know why i drank. It was a good day, i wasnt sad, upset, mad, depressed etc. But now im pretty mad, sad, depressed, at my poor decision making.

Anyways ill catch you guys on the flip side. Hope everyone is well and hope everyone had a happy sober friday and arent hung over like me. Ugh. Im sorry guys.

sva777

Why did you decide to drink and how much? You will be okay, use it as a learning experience on what not to do.

Saskia

JRyan, I found that sometimes I could sail through the tough stuff but then when the quiet hit I slipped. I took that to mean that I wasn't completely dealing with my deep down alcoholic thinking and/or hadn't yet accepted that I absolutely can't drink.

Good that you decided to go to a meeting today!

48heath

SLIP. Sobriety loses it's priority

doggonecarl

I think the answer was in your previous thread, where you said at the end of your post:

"...why does it take so long to realize that a problem exists and to fix it? I am having a tough go of it this week again, and these are the thoughts that are running through my head. "

All leading to a relapse.

CaseyW

Glad you're back. Wishing you the best today.

Remember you don't have to take that first drink ]no matter what, and as long as you don't take the first you don't have to worry about the second or third or eighth drink that will probably follow.

SoberLeigh

Do you go to AA regularly? Being proactive with our recovery is critical.

Soberwolf

Good time to revise a plan

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...SMA12-4474.pdf

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Hevyn

I never knew why I tempted fate either, jryan - but you were quick to acknowledge your mistake. Hope the meeting goes well.

Dee74

Welcome back jryan

do you have a sponsor?

D

jryan19982

No I dont have a sponsor. I just cant get into the while AA thing. I dont know why. Maybe my brain chemistry is still off, but hearing stories of horror doesnt match what has happened to me. And I guess that is GOOD thing, but Im not sure how people will react if I tell them my less than average story.

I will think more about getting one next time I go. I plan on attending one this weekend as my wife is out of town and I have the kids the whole week so I dont have the time to attend one.

But one of my kids is getting up at 5 am nowadays, so that right there deters me from drinking because I would hate to get up at 5 am hungover.

I have done well since my last slip up. But back to the tired, groggy, not quite there feeling again which will probably last the first week again. But Im feeling good about my revised plan, and of course my family is supportive.

breath

AA is great if you keep it in a perspective that works for you. So many reject it because they take an "all or nothing" approach, and with that perspective towards anything - being absolute, just doesn't work. Use anything as an example. I like my local grocery, but maybe not the long line or the guy working produce; that's a nice road, except when school lets out...nothing except our Higher Power is perfect, that includes AA. It is just another of the multiple components of my wonderful recovery plan.

When a relapse occurs we must be both reflective on what we did not change that allowed us to drink again; and what we will change to prevent us from picking up again.

In my early recovery I had a mantra that I would repeat constantly in my head, my journal, my meditations, conversations, shares in AA... "DRINKING IS NOT AN OPTION". I still use it, but in a different context, it is my declaration that I can STAY SOBER, my plan works, if I choose to work it; and if I don't, I acknowledge that and WORK IT !

MIRecovery

Do you have a sponsor?

jryan19982

I do not, no.

MIRecovery

Might be something to consider. Going to meetings helps working the steps is critical

Michael66

Is there something different you can try JRyan?

Good luck. I think many of us had to find all the ways of not staying sober before finding the way of staying sober.

CaliButterfly

It's ok if you don't relate to AA. It's a great avenue for many people, but not all can get into it. I'm one of those people, and there are alternative methods to sobriety. The one that worked for me is AVRT (Alcoholic Voice Recognition Technique) as explained on the Rational Recovery website. It's individual-based, not requiring meetings or the admission of powerlessness. For me, it gave back my power over my AV that controlled my impulse to drink. I took the free crash course (which takes about a half hour online), and have ordered the follow up book. I'm on day 7, and have no desire to drink or even the temptation. It's not my first attempt at sobriety (I was sober for a year in late 2012 - 2013), but my first time trying an approach different than the AA route. It feels different this time, and only time will tell if this will be the type of program that sticks, but I refuse to give up. Keep trying until you find what works for you.

tursiops999

I have had similar struggles with AA, but I think it's just my AV talking at me. I really didn't experience many of the horror stories I hear (yet) -- i.e. I never drank in the morning, never had a DUI, and still had some semblance of control in that most days I stopped at 3/4 bottle of wine and one painkiller. But on careful reflection -- I know that I was addicted and headed for trouble, because this illness progresses over time. Now I treat those "I don't belong" thoughts as my AV, and a sign that I need to work more actively on my recovery. When I actively do the work, I find peace and contentment, and don't miss drinking.

I'm not intending to push AA -- there are other routes to recovery, and may you find the one that works for you. I just wanted to share that AA can work well, even if one doesn't relate to the horror stories.

thomas11

You came here and posted your mistake and then attended an AA meeting. I believe those go in the "positives" column. You could have kept quiet and no one would be the wiser, so good for you on taking some action. Hopefully you can learn something from it. Even if it is the tiniest little thing.

Soberwolf

Best wishes Jryan excellent time to revise your plan