Why is this so hard?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 2
Why is this so hard?
I'm new here, and I'm hoping this can help. I'm struggling with, well, with why stopping drinking is do difficult. I am an accomplished athlete--I've run a handful of 1/2 marathons (drinking during training the whole time) and I still train regularly. I have a good job--one I love, but doesn't pay what I love. I work with kids and I feel like a hypocrite.
I began this habit of drinking about 8-9 years ago or so. It was a means to relax at the end of the day. I worked as a server and I gave myself one drink and a shower to get over the stress of my shift. Yet, it has morphed into a daily activity-and most definitely more than one drink! I am disappointed in how I've let it go so far. Normal people don't behave this way.
I've been looking up all means of assistance. I'm too embarrassed to go to meetings-that would feel like an ultimate defeat. I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm struggling.
Thanks for reading.
I began this habit of drinking about 8-9 years ago or so. It was a means to relax at the end of the day. I worked as a server and I gave myself one drink and a shower to get over the stress of my shift. Yet, it has morphed into a daily activity-and most definitely more than one drink! I am disappointed in how I've let it go so far. Normal people don't behave this way.
I've been looking up all means of assistance. I'm too embarrassed to go to meetings-that would feel like an ultimate defeat. I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm struggling.
Thanks for reading.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR lakeside and thanks for sharing. For most of us our drinking started out innocently/moderately as well. And in most cases it turned into something far worse. First off, congratulations on making the decision to seek help now and consider yourself lucky to have done so while you still have your health, job and other things many lost due to alcohol.
Also - don't beat yourself up as not being "normal". Alcoholism is not an indicator of defeat or does not somehow make you a lesser person. If anything, your choice to seek help and get better proves that you are a strong and thoughtful person.
Why is it so hard? There's probalby no definitive answer to that....it simply is. It's a powerful drug and it takes time to get used to not having it in our system, as well as time to figure out healthy ways to relax and face life. Sounds like you already have one good outlet in your running. On the sobriety front you will most likely need to have a sobriety plan of some kind, whether it be meeting based or self-paced will be up to you to determine.
Hope you can stick around and join the support and camaraderie of the SR community.
Also - don't beat yourself up as not being "normal". Alcoholism is not an indicator of defeat or does not somehow make you a lesser person. If anything, your choice to seek help and get better proves that you are a strong and thoughtful person.
Why is it so hard? There's probalby no definitive answer to that....it simply is. It's a powerful drug and it takes time to get used to not having it in our system, as well as time to figure out healthy ways to relax and face life. Sounds like you already have one good outlet in your running. On the sobriety front you will most likely need to have a sobriety plan of some kind, whether it be meeting based or self-paced will be up to you to determine.
Hope you can stick around and join the support and camaraderie of the SR community.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
I don't go to in person meetings, but have begun attending the chat meetings here on Tuesday and Friday evenings. They are in the chart room called "Meeting Room" at 9pm est. I have found that as well as normal chat and the message boards to be extremely helpful.
Quitting is very difficult. I am on day 17 and can honestly say the struggle has been worth it. I still have a ways to go, but feel better about myself and the choice to quit slowly killing myself.
Good luck!!
Quitting is very difficult. I am on day 17 and can honestly say the struggle has been worth it. I still have a ways to go, but feel better about myself and the choice to quit slowly killing myself.
Good luck!!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Some might say that the struggle is directly proportional to the degree of the problem.
That you can't quit is a sure sign that you need to. Seeking support to see that through is not defeat. To keep drinking, is.
That you can't quit is a sure sign that you need to. Seeking support to see that through is not defeat. To keep drinking, is.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 2
Thanks, all. I've picked up some books to read too. Honestly, my biggest motivation is vanity (combined with health). I've put on about 35-40lbs over the last 9 years, despite my running. Up until April 2014, my weight would still go down during training, but as I get older, I'm not seeing such results. I'm going through old pics from my college days, and I'm hoping that will give me a push in the right direction too.
Doggonecarl, if you don't mind, I'm going to use this, "Seeking support to see that through is not defeat. To keep drinking, is." I appreciate the honesty of this statement.
Doggonecarl, if you don't mind, I'm going to use this, "Seeking support to see that through is not defeat. To keep drinking, is." I appreciate the honesty of this statement.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,908
Welcome to SR, Lakeside716. Alcohol did defeat me truly and completely whether I wanted to admit it or not. Good news is I don't have to fight that battle today as long as I don't take that first drink.
There's a ton of great support and wisdom to be found here. I highly suggest joining and actively participating in the Class of September 2015 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are also in early recovery.
There's a ton of great support and wisdom to be found here. I highly suggest joining and actively participating in the Class of September 2015 thread found on this same forum. It's a great way to learn from and help others who are also in early recovery.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
Some might say that the struggle is directly proportional to the degree of the problem.
That you can't quit is a sure sign that you need to. Seeking support to see that through is not defeat. To keep drinking, is.
That you can't quit is a sure sign that you need to. Seeking support to see that through is not defeat. To keep drinking, is.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
Welcome Lakeside!
It is hard to stop drinking, no question about that. But, you can do it. I think many of us feel overwhelmed with thoughts of 'How did I let this happen?', but don't beat on yourself. Just focus on what you can do to change the situation. There is lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
It is hard to stop drinking, no question about that. But, you can do it. I think many of us feel overwhelmed with thoughts of 'How did I let this happen?', but don't beat on yourself. Just focus on what you can do to change the situation. There is lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
