I have plans for Christmas.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Casper, WY
Posts: 287
I'm simply indulging my thoughts this morning. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 8 and a half months since the last relapse, and I've been making a point to do some reflection every couple days. So, here's today's mumblings...
Working a golf tournament for the rescue mission today. It started at 2:00 AM for transport and setup, and won't be done till late afternoon.
Just had a chat while unloading sodas with one of the players about a couple guys who blew out of the aftercare program I'm a part of last weekend. It's also through the mission, and we lost five guys due to drinking in one fell swoop. I missed all the drama, because I really try to focus on minding my own business, but two were guys I was close with. Grieves me a lot to know they're downtown at the emergency shelter, getting soused/high/hurt/dead.
Still, I haven't had an urge or entertained a thought about drinking. I continue to reflect on what I have accomplished, what I'm working toward, and how much life has improved.
Its always helpful to remind myself...I have plans for Christmas. The way my disease works, one drink means that Christmas, no matter if its tomorrow or 364 days away, is derailed for me. Not drinking and working my program means I'll have a chance at a sane, healthy holiday.
No drinking today. I have plans for Christmas.
Working a golf tournament for the rescue mission today. It started at 2:00 AM for transport and setup, and won't be done till late afternoon.
Just had a chat while unloading sodas with one of the players about a couple guys who blew out of the aftercare program I'm a part of last weekend. It's also through the mission, and we lost five guys due to drinking in one fell swoop. I missed all the drama, because I really try to focus on minding my own business, but two were guys I was close with. Grieves me a lot to know they're downtown at the emergency shelter, getting soused/high/hurt/dead.
Still, I haven't had an urge or entertained a thought about drinking. I continue to reflect on what I have accomplished, what I'm working toward, and how much life has improved.
Its always helpful to remind myself...I have plans for Christmas. The way my disease works, one drink means that Christmas, no matter if its tomorrow or 364 days away, is derailed for me. Not drinking and working my program means I'll have a chance at a sane, healthy holiday.
No drinking today. I have plans for Christmas.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Very thoughtful and inspiring post. I like that idea--"Not today. I have plans for Christmas." It's rooted in today while acknowledging the future. Very cool.
Hope the guys who left the mission find their way back to recovery sooner rather than later.
Hope the guys who left the mission find their way back to recovery sooner rather than later.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Casper, WY
Posts: 287
Nothing specific as of yet. If I recall, December 23 will mark a year for me. I have it written down, but I don't track daily.
It's not so much a statement about Christmas as it's nice to recognize an option. Like Casey said, rooting myself in today while keeping an eye to the future.
In other news, we've established that I'm a natural with a driver, lousy with an iron, and for the low, low price of another $500 donated to the mission, I'll jump in the water hazard of your choice.
(The course has instructed me to abstain from jumping in the water hazards. Seems like a missed opportunity to me.)
It's not so much a statement about Christmas as it's nice to recognize an option. Like Casey said, rooting myself in today while keeping an eye to the future.
In other news, we've established that I'm a natural with a driver, lousy with an iron, and for the low, low price of another $500 donated to the mission, I'll jump in the water hazard of your choice.
(The course has instructed me to abstain from jumping in the water hazards. Seems like a missed opportunity to me.)
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
I love this post! What a great thought. Thank you so much for posting this.
On another note I am sorry about the guys that have faltered, I hope that they can get back at it. You are smart to mind your own business, getting involved in the drama of others has the potential to derail your own stability, but I know that hurts to see the ones you were close with fall.
Enjoy the tournament.
On another note I am sorry about the guys that have faltered, I hope that they can get back at it. You are smart to mind your own business, getting involved in the drama of others has the potential to derail your own stability, but I know that hurts to see the ones you were close with fall.
Enjoy the tournament.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Casper, WY
Posts: 287
Been rethinking on this lately, since it seems particularly poignant. I firmed up plans to make a flying run back to the hometown on the Wyoming prairie next week. My folks will roll into Denver on Christmas Eve, we'll roll out around 0500 on Christmas Day, and I'll get 30 or so hours home with the family. I'll also get to spend a few quality hours with my aunt on the ride back down on the 26th, which is a rarity for us.
I've also made the decision to visit my dad and stepmom while home, since he and I haven't had much of a relationship in the last few years. I'm from the country, and this ol' cowpuncher loves his daddy very much. I came to the conclusion the other day that if I want something to change with him, I have no one to blame but myself for not taking action. Wildly enough, when I rail about personal responsibility around here, it's a nice reminder to me to make sure I'm living it instead of just hollering about it online.
The fact remains, though, with Christmas less than a week out, I can screw it up by not being vigilant over my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual condition on a daily basis. I'm well past the stage in recovery where I think that it's as simple as not drinking. I've got to be aware of the things in life that used to make me desire an altered reality, and deal with them from the front end rather than ignore them.
I did, quietly, break it to my Mom that I'll have a year sober on the 23rd. I then implored her to enjoy that quietly and privately, rather than her usual routine of trying to commemorate things in life, good or bad. I still maintain that my best days happen when I subscribe to thinking that the person with the most sobriety is the one who got up earliest and goes to sleep the latest. I cannot pin my future success in recovery upon anything done previously, no matter how much Mom wants to make a big deal about her baby boy.
(I'm trying not to be snarky about my Mom...indeed, the changes in our relationship are insanely pronounced and headed in fantastic directions, and I want to be gracious with her praise...but...ya know...heh.)
So, it hasn't changed much. It's December 18, and I'm aware that I haven't made it to a good holiday just yet. On December 26, it'll be 366 days (leap year...wait, wait, wait, that's not right...ELECTION year! *snicker*) till I can do it again.
No drinking today. I've got plans for Christmas.
I've also made the decision to visit my dad and stepmom while home, since he and I haven't had much of a relationship in the last few years. I'm from the country, and this ol' cowpuncher loves his daddy very much. I came to the conclusion the other day that if I want something to change with him, I have no one to blame but myself for not taking action. Wildly enough, when I rail about personal responsibility around here, it's a nice reminder to me to make sure I'm living it instead of just hollering about it online.
The fact remains, though, with Christmas less than a week out, I can screw it up by not being vigilant over my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual condition on a daily basis. I'm well past the stage in recovery where I think that it's as simple as not drinking. I've got to be aware of the things in life that used to make me desire an altered reality, and deal with them from the front end rather than ignore them.
I did, quietly, break it to my Mom that I'll have a year sober on the 23rd. I then implored her to enjoy that quietly and privately, rather than her usual routine of trying to commemorate things in life, good or bad. I still maintain that my best days happen when I subscribe to thinking that the person with the most sobriety is the one who got up earliest and goes to sleep the latest. I cannot pin my future success in recovery upon anything done previously, no matter how much Mom wants to make a big deal about her baby boy.
(I'm trying not to be snarky about my Mom...indeed, the changes in our relationship are insanely pronounced and headed in fantastic directions, and I want to be gracious with her praise...but...ya know...heh.)
So, it hasn't changed much. It's December 18, and I'm aware that I haven't made it to a good holiday just yet. On December 26, it'll be 366 days (leap year...wait, wait, wait, that's not right...ELECTION year! *snicker*) till I can do it again.
No drinking today. I've got plans for Christmas.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
No drinking today. I've got plans for Christmas.
^^^^^love this!^^^^^
Congrats on your sober time. I think it's wonderful you are taking initiative with your family relationships! Have an awesome visit!
^^^^^love this!^^^^^
Congrats on your sober time. I think it's wonderful you are taking initiative with your family relationships! Have an awesome visit!
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