TroyW

Seriously, am I stuck being prone to this crap the rest of my life? I'm about to rip my ear off.

I've been really angry lately. Not on the outside. Just a deep seated, inner, underlying anger. Kind of a "don't mess with me" type of anger. I actually like it. Back in my younger years everyone always kept telling me I'm too nice for my own good. I can confidently say that's not true any more. heh.

Reached out to my family in the past couple days, and sounds as though the family is in total disarray. Have one sister-in-law who's dumber than a gerbil, and she's pissed off at me. I don't care though, I got the photo of my 8 year old niece all dolled up in lipstick off the internet, so I'm happy.

My other sister-in-law sounds depressed out of her mind. She never actually said it, because she's too strong of a woman for that, but you could tell. I think it's due to the fact her youngest son is going to uni soon, and there's a chance that spells the end of the marriage.

My nephew has been living with a total POS for over 2 years now. I friended her on Facebook, and within 24 hours unfriended her due to the amount of ******** **** she posts. I've never met her myself, but will trust the judgement of my family -- she's a piece of work, and my nephew could do a lot better. My nephew is highly intelligent though, and I think he has a bit of that self destructive side to him.

Haven't talked to my mom lately, but missed a call from her yesterday. I'm sure I'll talk to her soon. She makes it a point that we talk once a week. No idea on my dad or brothers. My dad is a very private person, and I should really reach out to my brothers to make sure they're alright.

What a god damn mess.

TroyW

That's it. I'm done. 10 minutes for an eternity for peace. Sounds good to me.

Upwardspiral

Troy I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I identify with the frustration at family not making smart choices. There was a time where I had to turn my back on everyone in my family and sort myself out a little bit before I could stand to be around them even for an afternoon.
I still keep my distance as needed because ultimately we're all going to do what we're going to do. Also I realized the way I live drives them crazy too

Alynn

I'm sorry your are struggling!

getright15

I know that depressed feeling all to well. Hang in there man!

letitgo

You have survived worse and the storm will pass. The answers are not at the bottom of any bottle. Hope your storm passes soon.

Jsbodhi

Oh yes, the good ol' family dramas- I feel your pain xo

entropy1964

I get the anger and the issues with family. I remember a period of abstinence, about 7 years ago, where I was angry all the time. I was dry for about 6 months or so and it was awful. I almost opened a can of whoop-*** on a girl at the gym. Yah. Pretty. Fighting.

I realized that this anger really wasn't, at its core, about other people or places or things. It was organic within me. I had to take a serious look at what I can control/change (me) and what I can't control/change (everything/everyone else). I didn't truly get this until I had already relapsed.

I know the last thing I want to ponder is the serenity prayer when I'm *issed at the world, but I know I must.

"Sobriety is a creative discipline in the art of freedom of growth, and of love. To be yourself is to become yourself". David Stewart. Thirst For Freedom.

CaseyW

You can't control your family when you're living in the same house as them, much less from the other side of the globe.

Hope today is a better day for you, Troy. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Soberwolf

Please check in Troy