matilda123

My morning meeting was canceled, so I had a chance to think a bit about my sobriety plan.

What I realize is that I let slip the support systems and mechanisms that I had put in place that allowed me to enjoy sobriety for over six months. In other words, I stopped taking care of myself.

Work continues to be a stresser, and promises to be even more of one this year than last, in part due to layoffs and other budgetary changes on the horizon, as well as preparing for a big promotion that has my anxiety firing on all cylinders. Some ways to cope sans alcohol:

• I need to remind myself that for all the stress at work, I am truly blessed to have a job that I love and to do work that I value with folks whose ethics, for the most part, are similar to my own.
• I need to focus on the things that I can do and do well: be a good teacher and mentor, and a good writer. Try to leave behind my worry about things I have no control over. There is a lot of unknown, but worrying about it ahead of time won't change what may or may not happen.

• I need to recognize that sometimes I worry about things that I don't have control over, in part so that I don't take action on the things that I do have control over, such as my own work. When I feel worry or anxiety, I need to "check in," and determine where that is coming from. If it is something that is within my control (such as a looming deadline) I need to take action. Recognizing my anxiety and asking myself what action can I do right now to mitigate this anxiety, has worked well for me in the past.

• Probably like a lot of you, I'm the family "fixer" and I have a tendency to take that into the workplace. While it is good to be compassionate, there is a lot that is happening at work that I cannot fix, and folks I care for who will be hurt. I need to support them and listen with compassion, but remind myself that there are structural changes that I cannot fix.

• Mondays promise to be hard due to some very difficult meetings on the horizon. I plan to treat myself with extra kindness these days, and give myself lots of treats. Some will include picking up fresh flowers for my office on Monday mornings, stopping at my favorite coffee shop on the way in and packing myself an extra special lunch on those days. Also, I am going to resume my batch cooking/crockpot meals so that there is something warm and nourishing waiting for me when I get home.

The Witching Hour: For me, that is between 6-10. What I will do:

• If I'm feeling antsy, take the dogs out for another walk. They won't mind, I'm sure
• Resume work on my needlepoint projects. Keeping my mind somewhat busy at night is helpful.
• My partner and I have been wanting to resume yoga. See if I can find a class that meets in the evening at least one day of the week.
• Ice cream! (I do miss my peanut butter cup ice cream, which I've stopped eating too--egads!)
• Do some prep for the next day (food, getting clothes ready, making a to do list) to make the morning run smoother.
  • Commit to posting first if I feel like drinking.
• Just go to bed. It is a strategy I've used before when all else fails.

Generally

• Join the September group here on SR.
• Read and post more on SR.
• Discuss with a trusted, sober friend at work my recent alcohol use and take her up on her previous invitation to serve as a support for me.
• Discuss with my partner my recommitment to sobriety. This one is hard, as there is a part of him that doesn't really understand the nature of my alcohol use (like a lot of us, I tend to drink by myself). But I need to get honest and real with him and benefit from his support too.

• Consider resuming therapy for extra support.

That's the plan so far. Sorry for the length, although I have to say it was really useful to write out. Would welcome additional suggestions and advice.

doggonecarl

I had read early on in my recovery that a goal without a plan is just a wish. So true. But in all the planning, don't lose sight of the goal: total, life-long, sobriety. The plan is supposed to support the decision to quit. If you find yourself thinking of drinking, it may be you are not as committed to quitting as your plan would imply.

Stay strong, stay sober.

matilda123

Thanks for this, doggone. I admit that there is a part of me that still wants to drink--I can't pretend that isn't true. At the same time, there is another part of me that doesn't, and that knows how well I was doing when I didn't drink. I'm hoping to hold onto that part and to support it with a plan. I guess sort of a fake it until I make it, one day at a time .

ccam1973

Sounds like a good plan Matilda. Remember, you can do it and post here if you feel weak; I did read that in your plan too.

I think there is going to be a little part of you that will still want to drink. I can say I do have that little part still in me every once in a while. When ever it pops up in my mind, I play it forward and remember exactly what that one drink will bring back into my life. That's what keeps me sober. I'm never going back to that life.

Stay strong Matilda. Great plan.

matilda123

Thanks for the support. And yes, I do need to play it forward. As someone said on here earlier this week, one rarely regrets not drinking. Hope you have a great day!

OpenTuning

The work you've put into your plan, which looks good, shows how serious you are about wanting to quit. Which means the "part of you that doesn't" is your AV. It comes from a separate part of your brain that doesn't care in the slightest about your health, relationships, work, social life, or anything at all that you hold precious. All it wants is alcohol, and will say and do anything to persuade you to drink. Once you know where that voice is coming from, it can be a lot easier to deal with. Remember, your AV can say what it wants, but it needs you to open that bottle for it, and you can just tell it to get stuffed, because you don't drink!

thomas11

Looks pretty solid. Plan to work and work the plan...I think someone said once. Its pretty true.

Soberwolf

Be sure to check the sticky at the top of newcomers the links & information in that thread is excellent in building a plan

You sound good M

matilda123

Great advice, thank you!

Soberwolf

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html