Help maybe
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 12
Help maybe
I've been lurking around this site for a few months. I think I probably need help. Probably is probably an understatement. I feel so guilty. I know I drink way too much. Every day. Sometimes 10 beers plus sneak swigs from the bottle the in the cabinet. I have my own 9 year old daughter plus my soon to be husband's 8 and 12 year old girls. I'm getting married in three weeks and I'm afraid to quit drinking before then. I'm having anxiety attacks now every day and I don't know why. I've been too afraid or unsure of where to post on here. I'm not even sure how to follow this thread. I hope I can. I could use some advice.
Ps. I've been drinking for 14 years
Ps. I've been drinking for 14 years
Last edited by nebrgrl; 09-08-2015 at 08:37 PM. Reason: More info
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Welcome, Nebgrl!
I would recommend quitting drinking as soon as possible. If you can't get to a doctor soon, perhaps consider going to the ER or a detox facility? Alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous.
I would recommend quitting drinking as soon as possible. If you can't get to a doctor soon, perhaps consider going to the ER or a detox facility? Alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Neb, I'm not sure how old you are but I quit drinking in my 50s after it gradually becoming a problem over the years. Lots of people do it when they become aware that what was fun and normal when they were younger is negatively impacting on their lives and relationships, plus getting worse. You won't be alone, I promise you.
The main hurdle for me was to realise I couldn't moderate my drinking in the long term. I might quit for a while, get over-confident, start slowly and build up to worse than I was before. When my doctor told me I had to quit completely I felt a stab of fear. This is quite normal, and you can work through it.
Now you're at the point of wanting to stop drinking, I suggest you do as much reading as you can about alcoholism and its stages, then picture yourself in 10 years if you don't stop. I bet this is not the person you want to become.
My first step was to talk to my doctor (who had assumed I hardly drank), and it felt good to tell someone the truth. Then I researched online on the reputable websites about the effects of excess alcohol. After a few weeks something clicked and I was able to stop.
Do some reading on this site on how to handle cravings by having a plan for when they hit. I think a lot of people fail because they don't know how to deal with cravings and how to avoid them.
The main hurdle for me was to realise I couldn't moderate my drinking in the long term. I might quit for a while, get over-confident, start slowly and build up to worse than I was before. When my doctor told me I had to quit completely I felt a stab of fear. This is quite normal, and you can work through it.
Now you're at the point of wanting to stop drinking, I suggest you do as much reading as you can about alcoholism and its stages, then picture yourself in 10 years if you don't stop. I bet this is not the person you want to become.
My first step was to talk to my doctor (who had assumed I hardly drank), and it felt good to tell someone the truth. Then I researched online on the reputable websites about the effects of excess alcohol. After a few weeks something clicked and I was able to stop.
Do some reading on this site on how to handle cravings by having a plan for when they hit. I think a lot of people fail because they don't know how to deal with cravings and how to avoid them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
Hello. There is never a better time to stop drinking than now. My life still has it's ups and downs but my head is clear and feelings are genuine. No more drunken lies . You will never look back and regret sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
The drinking is probably exacerbating the anxiety attacks. Once I quit drinking, I never had another anxiety or panic attack. I actually kept increasing my drinking because of the anxiety not realizing it was actually the cause of them. Quitting drinking is very hard in the beginning. You need to put a solid recovery plan in place and then follow it. Maybe print out the original post in this thread and carry it in your wallet and read it the next time you contemplate drinking. Good luck to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 12
I'm 39 years old. Thank you so much and to everyone here for posting. I will go find the information on cravings you mentioned. How do you go about creating a plan to quit? Do I just pick a quit day? You're right I should probably tell my doctor but that feels scary. I think I can do it though.
Originally Posted by FeelingGreat 
Hi Neb, I'm not sure how old you are but I quit drinking in my 50s after it gradually becoming a problem over the years. Lots of people do it when they become aware that what was fun and normal when they were younger is negatively impacting on their lives and relationships, plus getting worse. You won't be alone, I promise you.
The main hurdle for me was to realise I couldn't moderate my drinking in the long term. I might quit for a while, get over-confident, start slowly and build up to worse than I was before. When my doctor told me I had to quit completely I felt a stab of fear. This is quite normal, and you can work through it.
Now you're at the point of wanting to stop drinking, I suggest you do as much reading as you can about alcoholism and its stages, then picture yourself in 10 years if you don't stop. I bet this is not the person you want to become.
My first step was to talk to my doctor (who had assumed I hardly drank), and it felt good to tell someone the truth. Then I researched online on the reputable websites about the effects of excess alcohol. After a few weeks something clicked and I was able to stop.
Do some reading on this site on how to handle cravings by having a plan for when they hit. I think a lot of people fail because they don't know how to deal with cravings and how to avoid them.
The main hurdle for me was to realise I couldn't moderate my drinking in the long term. I might quit for a while, get over-confident, start slowly and build up to worse than I was before. When my doctor told me I had to quit completely I felt a stab of fear. This is quite normal, and you can work through it.
Now you're at the point of wanting to stop drinking, I suggest you do as much reading as you can about alcoholism and its stages, then picture yourself in 10 years if you don't stop. I bet this is not the person you want to become.
My first step was to talk to my doctor (who had assumed I hardly drank), and it felt good to tell someone the truth. Then I researched online on the reputable websites about the effects of excess alcohol. After a few weeks something clicked and I was able to stop.
Do some reading on this site on how to handle cravings by having a plan for when they hit. I think a lot of people fail because they don't know how to deal with cravings and how to avoid them.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 12
Thank you
Thank you everyone for all of the encouraging words and suggestions. I'm thinking maybe I'll try not drinking today. I've said that before but then I get home and, well, you know how it goes. I know right now there's one beer in the fridge and about 1/4 bottle of vodka in the cupboard and maybe a swallow of fireball in the freezer. There's some vermouth too I guess. Beer has been my drink of choice but when I'm in a pinch I'm not picky. I'm trying to imagine what it will be like if I go home tonight and I don't drink. Maybe I'd actually do something with myself besides hide in the kitchen.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Originally Posted by nebrgrl
I'm 39 years old. Thank you so much and to everyone here for posting. I will go find the information on cravings you mentioned. How do you go about creating a plan to quit? Do I just pick a quit day? You're right I should probably tell my doctor but that feels scary. I think I can do it though.
- Your plan must start by getting rid of all the alcohol in the house and replacing it with non-alcoholic drinks which you enjoy. I went for tea in a teapot and I created a relaxing ritual around it.
- You should identify times when you want to drink the most. I found leaving work was my danger time so I had a fresh juice as soon as I left, walked some of my commute, and made sure I didn't arrive home hungry.
- Don't allow yourself to get too stressed, tired or hungry. Organise your life so you always have a snack at hand, because your body will identify hunger as the need to drink.
- Avoid social events based around drinking for a few months. You don't need the temptation for now.
- Deal with cravings by turning your mind firmly away from drinking. I found that taking 5 deep breaths, concentrating on my body, never failed.
Do talk to your doctor. If you can't tell him/her how much you drink, write it down instead. It will help your morale to have someone else backing you. It did take me a few weeks to stop after telling my doc, but it was an important first step. Plus he praised me every time he saw me, and I liked that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 12
Thank you so much for this advice. I really appreciate it. The first thing I do when I get home is have a drink so that will be the hardest time for me. I'll really have to think of a good plan to make sure I stay calm. There's not much alcohol in the house right now so that's good. Even so, it will be hard for me to get rid of it. I've been thinking about this all day. I haven't been very productive at work unfortunately. 
QUOTE=FeelingGreat;5549768]Hi Neb
- Your plan must start by getting rid of all the alcohol in the house and replacing it with non-alcoholic drinks which you enjoy. I went for tea in a teapot and I created a relaxing ritual around it.
- You should identify times when you want to drink the most. I found leaving work was my danger time so I had a fresh juice as soon as I left, walked some of my commute, and made sure I didn't arrive home hungry.
- Don't allow yourself to get too stressed, tired or hungry. Organise your life so you always have a snack at hand, because your body will identify hunger as the need to drink.
- Avoid social events based around drinking for a few months. You don't need the temptation for now.
- Deal with cravings by turning your mind firmly away from drinking. I found that taking 5 deep breaths, concentrating on my body, never failed.
Do talk to your doctor. If you can't tell him/her how much you drink, write it down instead. It will help your morale to have someone else backing you. It did take me a few weeks to stop after telling my doc, but it was an important first step. Plus he praised me every time he saw me, and I liked that.[/QUOTE]
QUOTE=FeelingGreat;5549768]Hi Neb
- Your plan must start by getting rid of all the alcohol in the house and replacing it with non-alcoholic drinks which you enjoy. I went for tea in a teapot and I created a relaxing ritual around it.
- You should identify times when you want to drink the most. I found leaving work was my danger time so I had a fresh juice as soon as I left, walked some of my commute, and made sure I didn't arrive home hungry.
- Don't allow yourself to get too stressed, tired or hungry. Organise your life so you always have a snack at hand, because your body will identify hunger as the need to drink.
- Avoid social events based around drinking for a few months. You don't need the temptation for now.
- Deal with cravings by turning your mind firmly away from drinking. I found that taking 5 deep breaths, concentrating on my body, never failed.
Do talk to your doctor. If you can't tell him/her how much you drink, write it down instead. It will help your morale to have someone else backing you. It did take me a few weeks to stop after telling my doc, but it was an important first step. Plus he praised me every time he saw me, and I liked that.[/QUOTE]
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi nebrgrl, Welcome. As you can see, lots of great advice here. Sounds like you have alot on your plate and even more in the near future. Quitting drinking is a significant commitment as well. I just read this today: The Project Gutenberg EBook of Cutting It out, by Samuel G. Blythe. Its a quick read. This will likely not be a popular answer here, but having a plan in place either now or in the future is the best idea. Most here will say today is the best day to quit. But I don't disagree with folks who say "I need to get through this and that, and then I'll tackle quitting". The key to that is sticking to your plan, otherwise that day never comes. Wish you the best.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
It's good to meet you, nebrgrl. I'm so glad you realize at 39 what needs to happen. I waited much longer, and my life fell apart.
We all understand how hard it is to let go of it. Hopefully it will help you to post and read here. Keeping busy & distracted is key. Eventually the shaky feeling will leave you.
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. This can be a wonderful new beginning in many ways.
We all understand how hard it is to let go of it. Hopefully it will help you to post and read here. Keeping busy & distracted is key. Eventually the shaky feeling will leave you.
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage. This can be a wonderful new beginning in many ways.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Be prepared for the fact that you might go through withdrawal – the anxiety attacks you've been having very well might be symptoms of withdrawal when you're not drinking during the day. That's why it's so important to speak with a doctor. They can give you an outpatient detox plan if necessary to be sure that you don't have any dangerous reactions like seizures. If you do go solo cold turkey, just be aware that the first 3 days can be really, really terrible – try not to plan too much for those days, and also be aware that the acute withdrawal will be over in a week or two, so it's really important to stick it out! If you quit now, you'll be feeling so much happier and healthier by your wedding day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 12
Never thought
I never thought about the anxiety attacks being related to withdrawal. They've been the worst I've ever experienced in my life in the last couple of months. I've chalked it up to getting married. I'm sure that's some of it but I can't rule out the idea that the alcohol is causing the anxiety. I'm terrified to quit drinking before my wedding. That may sound chicken ****. I've been telling myself I will quit after the wedding. I'm afraid I'm crazy for putting this task on myself three weeks before I get married. I'm already kind of a wreck. Maybe that's an excuse. I don't really know. I'm a weenie. I've only had three beers tonight instead of my usual 9, so I'm trying today at least somehow. I feel bad even asking for your support while I'm still drinking. Seems lame. But I appreciate someone being out there who understands.
Hang on!
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 181
In case you haven't already, you might want to look up the spectrum of withdrawal symptoms to see what you might be in for.
For me it wasn't that serious - bed sweats, vivid nightmares, tremors / nervousness, indigestion, insomnia, and anxiety. For others it can be as serious as seizures. Maybe think about having someone around to keep an eye on you for the first couple of days?
Good luck. The sooner you start the sooner it's over.
For me it wasn't that serious - bed sweats, vivid nightmares, tremors / nervousness, indigestion, insomnia, and anxiety. For others it can be as serious as seizures. Maybe think about having someone around to keep an eye on you for the first couple of days?
Good luck. The sooner you start the sooner it's over.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
Just thinking about quitting or not replenishing my supply of vodka threw me into full anxiety. The thought of not drinking was terrifying. I too drank as soon as I got home from work. I also came here when I was still drinking. I went to the doctor on a Tuesday (with a pint of vodka stashed under my car seat that I had bought at lunch). I was honest with him about the amount I was drinking as well as the fact I knew I had a problem. He gave me prescriptions for the anxiety. I got them filled on the way home. That night I drank my vodka. The next morning I took my medicine and poured out the rest of the vodka. It was NOT easy to do, but that was 15 days ago and I haven't had a drink since. It is possible. Not easy, but possible. I am glad I am sober. Big hugs to you and best of luck on quitting as well as your marriage.
Originally Posted by nebrgrl
I never thought about the anxiety attacks being related to withdrawal. They've been the worst I've ever experienced in my life in the last couple of months. I've chalked it up to getting married. I'm sure that's some of it but I can't rule out the idea that the alcohol is causing the anxiety. I'm terrified to quit drinking before my wedding. That may sound chicken ****. I've been telling myself I will quit after the wedding. I'm afraid I'm crazy for putting this task on myself three weeks before I get married. I'm already kind of a wreck. Maybe that's an excuse. I don't really know. I'm a weenie. I've only had three beers tonight instead of my usual 9, so I'm trying today at least somehow. I feel bad even asking for your support while I'm still drinking. Seems lame. But I appreciate someone being out there who understands.
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