Not really sure how to start - never told anyone all this before
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by IOAA2 
Hi and welcome.
Most of us were good functioning people when at a certain point alcohol took over and our lives started to become unmanageable, many not noticing the change.
I drank to escape some feelings I had which caused me to feel uncomfortable and it developed to be my escape mechanism with many situations. I’d have a couple drinks before a social gathering; have a few after a stressful day which became daily, feeling lonely, feeling insecure and on and on.
Long story short version, I became sick and tired of being sick and tired. Getting honest about my drinking AND accepting the fact that I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row started a lot of years of being sober and feeling comfortable in my own skin which alcohol never achieved.
It all started with the action of not drinking and continued work and change since then.
BE WELL
Most of us were good functioning people when at a certain point alcohol took over and our lives started to become unmanageable, many not noticing the change.
I drank to escape some feelings I had which caused me to feel uncomfortable and it developed to be my escape mechanism with many situations. I’d have a couple drinks before a social gathering; have a few after a stressful day which became daily, feeling lonely, feeling insecure and on and on.
Long story short version, I became sick and tired of being sick and tired. Getting honest about my drinking AND accepting the fact that I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row started a lot of years of being sober and feeling comfortable in my own skin which alcohol never achieved.
It all started with the action of not drinking and continued work and change since then.
BE WELL
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by tiredofme
Welcome timeonmyhands
Lots of helpful people and good resources here only on day 3 myself but I find knowing that you are not alone and people totally understand what you are going through really helps.
Lots of helpful people and good resources here only on day 3 myself but I find knowing that you are not alone and people totally understand what you are going through really helps.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by Horatio48
Welcome. This site is a great resource. And very helpful. Early days for me, but checking in here helps. Wish you good luck. My approach is it could be a new and exciting journey. Don't know where it will end up. But the old road was just too well travelled and going nowhere.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
You might try putting the money you spend daily on alcohol in a tea pot or a jar. I know, sounds silly, buts its a great visual of how much one really does waste on booze. And you'll probably have the holidays completely paid for in advance!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 321
Originally Posted by Timeonmyhands
..."To an outsider I would appear to have it all" "Day to day, I get up, function normally all day - if anything I'm regarded as one of the best in what I do (I don't feel I am, I feel like a huge pretender and a conwoman and that I will be found out)"
"It's got to the point where I DREAD the weekends, as I know I'll end up getting out of control, not remembering the evenings"... "I sometimes look around at it all and think 'sod it, I'll kill myself, I'm going to die anyway and this won't hurt as much' ..... but that's only a half thought, not like others who really battle such thoughts"
"It's got to the point where I DREAD the weekends, as I know I'll end up getting out of control, not remembering the evenings"... "I sometimes look around at it all and think 'sod it, I'll kill myself, I'm going to die anyway and this won't hurt as much' ..... but that's only a half thought, not like others who really battle such thoughts"
Day 2 is fantastic! Congrats! Keep on going and get those sober days in, and you'll find your negative thoughts subside and/or become more manageable and you can see them in a rational way. You'll have a more realistic view of you, instead of the lies an alcohol soaked brain tells you.
Keep on posting and hang in there. Everyone here is fantastic and will support you on your sober journey, if you so choose.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by InTheEnd
I pulled those out of your post because those remarks really hit home for me. Exactly how I felt. I'm on 30 days sober today and things definitely are better, especially all those negative, mentally destructive thoughts. I've still got a long way to go but very happy with the decision not to drink. It offers me absolutely nothing anymore but misery.
Day 2 is fantastic! Congrats! Keep on going and get those sober days in, and you'll find your negative thoughts subside and/or become more manageable and you can see them in a rational way. You'll have a more realistic view of you, instead of the lies an alcohol soaked brain tells you.
Keep on posting and hang in there. Everyone here is fantastic and will support you on your sober journey, if you so choose.
Day 2 is fantastic! Congrats! Keep on going and get those sober days in, and you'll find your negative thoughts subside and/or become more manageable and you can see them in a rational way. You'll have a more realistic view of you, instead of the lies an alcohol soaked brain tells you.
Keep on posting and hang in there. Everyone here is fantastic and will support you on your sober journey, if you so choose.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Welcome, glad you're here with us.
I drank longer than you've been alive - the last few years heavily and daily. I was a Jekyll and Hyde character. I never hit the rocky bottom - I choose to consider maybe I'd just stop digging.
One day I decided to take action, slowly accepted I could no longer drink and became willing to change. I too was simply sick and tired of being a drunk. I was scared because I really wasn't sure sobriety was possible. But, I had to really try and stop saying tomorrow, maybe. None of this happen in the blink of an eye, but once I made the decision I got rolling.
This week I will hit 15 months of continuous sobriety - around 60-90 days the obsession to drink was gone and the bad habit was cast out.
In hindsight, for me - once I got started it really was not the difficult. It's a matter of retraining and some sort of program. I found SR after I stopped drinking and continue to go to f2f meetings as well. That combination has provided me what I need thus far.
You can boot that fear to the door - sobriety is like discovering the hidden garden that we would occasionally catch a scent of, but just could find.
Come join us
Keep coming back
I drank longer than you've been alive - the last few years heavily and daily. I was a Jekyll and Hyde character. I never hit the rocky bottom - I choose to consider maybe I'd just stop digging.
One day I decided to take action, slowly accepted I could no longer drink and became willing to change. I too was simply sick and tired of being a drunk. I was scared because I really wasn't sure sobriety was possible. But, I had to really try and stop saying tomorrow, maybe. None of this happen in the blink of an eye, but once I made the decision I got rolling.
This week I will hit 15 months of continuous sobriety - around 60-90 days the obsession to drink was gone and the bad habit was cast out.
In hindsight, for me - once I got started it really was not the difficult. It's a matter of retraining and some sort of program. I found SR after I stopped drinking and continue to go to f2f meetings as well. That combination has provided me what I need thus far.
You can boot that fear to the door - sobriety is like discovering the hidden garden that we would occasionally catch a scent of, but just could find.
Come join us
Keep coming back
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Welcome Time. This community has been my only support for recovery and has changed my life. With some determination, hard work and will power you can get your life back too.
I spent 21+ years drinking heavily and daily. I don't think I took two days off in a row for all of those years; not when I was ill, not over holidays, not during funerals or family hardships, never.
I too held down a six figure job during all of it, slowly creeping to drinking around the clock; even at work.
I had no idea how to get myself better, no idea how to live or function without alcohol.
The good news is it can be done and you can do it... the better news is your life will be so much better once your every movement and thought isn't controlled by the bottle.
It helped me early on to read as many threads here as I could. I realized I wasn't alone, others have batted this addiction and are living a great life without booze. Also, post often. If you feel yourself getting weak, post here and give us a chance to help get you out of your thoughts of drinking. Come up with a plan. Avoid drinking at all cost. It gets easier with time.
I've got 428 days today and they have been the best days in the past 20 or so years. Life is never easy, but living without alcohol has been the best decision I have ever made; my wife and kids would agree whole heartedly.
Stay strong and welcome!
I spent 21+ years drinking heavily and daily. I don't think I took two days off in a row for all of those years; not when I was ill, not over holidays, not during funerals or family hardships, never.
I too held down a six figure job during all of it, slowly creeping to drinking around the clock; even at work.
I had no idea how to get myself better, no idea how to live or function without alcohol.
The good news is it can be done and you can do it... the better news is your life will be so much better once your every movement and thought isn't controlled by the bottle.
It helped me early on to read as many threads here as I could. I realized I wasn't alone, others have batted this addiction and are living a great life without booze. Also, post often. If you feel yourself getting weak, post here and give us a chance to help get you out of your thoughts of drinking. Come up with a plan. Avoid drinking at all cost. It gets easier with time.
I've got 428 days today and they have been the best days in the past 20 or so years. Life is never easy, but living without alcohol has been the best decision I have ever made; my wife and kids would agree whole heartedly.
Stay strong and welcome!
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,666
Hi time, it really is worth the effort! We all have our experiences which you can probably relate to and I found the support on here any time of day and night was brilliant. When I was screaming ab dabs , I came here.
I did find I had all this time on my hands where I'd normally be zonked out on the sofa after a skinful. So there is a great life with, seemingly more hours in, just waiting for you.
I did find I had all this time on my hands where I'd normally be zonked out on the sofa after a skinful. So there is a great life with, seemingly more hours in, just waiting for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by Fly N Buy
I too was simply sick and tired of being a drunk. I was scared because I really wasn't sure sobriety was possible. But, I had to really try and stop saying tomorrow, maybe.
I found SR after I stopped drinking and continue to go to f2f meetings as well. That combination has provided me what I need thus far.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by Mags1
Hi time, it really is worth the effort! We all have our experiences which you can probably relate to and I found the support on here any time of day and night was brilliant. When I was screaming ab dabs , I came here.
I did find I had all this time on my hands where I'd normally be zonked out on the sofa after a skinful. So there is a great life with, seemingly more hours in, just waiting for you.
I did find I had all this time on my hands where I'd normally be zonked out on the sofa after a skinful. So there is a great life with, seemingly more hours in, just waiting for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi timeonmyhands, I believe your story is a familiar one to many. As you probably know, it always gets worse, rarely does it get better if action is not taken. It sounds as if you want the madness to end, and that's a great start. The people here are wonderful and will help you all they can. Wishing you the best.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Florida., USA
Posts: 3,252
Welcome Timeonmyhands........I've been where you are and understand. Last year I had several months of sobriety, but relapsed. In recent weeks as my drinking escalated, I would be so ashamed when I went to bed and in the morning vowed I would stop. I too lacked energy and motivation. While I wanted to drink yesterday afternoon and evening, last night I was so proud of myself because I was going to bed sober. When I opened my eyes this morning, it was awesome to not be filled with regret from all the drinking the night before. Take one day at a time. Stay close to the forum and post often. I believe one of the reasons (among many) that I relapsed was that I became complacent with my not drinking and did not stay close to the forum. It helps - it really does!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I think a lot of us come to recovery full of shame and self-hate. I know I did. I was also a functioning alcoholic - it's amazing how good we get at hiding things.
I found a lot of support in the rooms of AA (actually recently went to a lunchtime meeting in Barnstaple when on holiday in the N.Devon area - lots of really lovely, lovely, gentle ladies at that meeting).
If you want to change then it is possible. One day at a time off the booze. Maybe go somewhere completely different for the weekends if you can afford it, to break the cycle - it sounds like your husband might support you in this.
x
I found a lot of support in the rooms of AA (actually recently went to a lunchtime meeting in Barnstaple when on holiday in the N.Devon area - lots of really lovely, lovely, gentle ladies at that meeting).
If you want to change then it is possible. One day at a time off the booze. Maybe go somewhere completely different for the weekends if you can afford it, to break the cycle - it sounds like your husband might support you in this.
x
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
Welcome and I'm pleased you are here.
I think most of us have felt that feeling of hopelessness, but it can be a good place to start recovery. I recently relapsed and I'm now only a few days sober, but I found this community and the rooms of AA to be really comforting.
One day at a time, that's all we need to work on :-)
I think most of us have felt that feeling of hopelessness, but it can be a good place to start recovery. I recently relapsed and I'm now only a few days sober, but I found this community and the rooms of AA to be really comforting.
One day at a time, that's all we need to work on :-)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 52
Thanks everybody, it really is amazing and reassuring to hear everyone's experiences, and to read that so many of you are on the mend. I appreciate each and every post and experience shared. Well - it's day number three today, I'm sleeping terribly but still waking up with more energy than usual. If any one is there I could really use some advice??? I've been trawling the forums and found many great snippets of info and already feel in a better place. BUT over and over again I see recommendations to 'taper' rather than straight quit - and to people probably drinking less than me. I feel ok - not tremors, no hallucinations... some pretty freaky Salvador Dali style night terrors but other than that I'm ok. I'm just terrified I will somehow use this tapering scenario as a fantastic medically backed excuse to pick up where I left off come Friday night...... I don't believe I can have just one or two without a complete return. Any advice ... ?
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by JaneLane
Welcome and I'm pleased you are here.
I think most of us have felt that feeling of hopelessness, but it can be a good place to start recovery. I recently relapsed and I'm now only a few days sober, but I found this community and the rooms of AA to be really comforting.
One day at a time, that's all we need to work on :-)
I think most of us have felt that feeling of hopelessness, but it can be a good place to start recovery. I recently relapsed and I'm now only a few days sober, but I found this community and the rooms of AA to be really comforting.
One day at a time, that's all we need to work on :-)
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