Fuzzy is finally on her way!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Fuzzy is finally on her way!!!
Finally, day 1 : ))))))))
I've been waiting for my supervised home detox to start for 4 weeks now and finally it's here!
I spent last week trying to sort out my pabriinex 3 day vitamin injections, first day I drove 20 mile round trip to be told they'd left it in the other surgery, drove another 10 miles, waited an hour and got it (vvvvv painful in bum) second day got it no problem but third day was Saturday so they arranged for me to take it home and then drive 30 mile round trip to a local hospital who could give. I did this, got there and they said no they couldn't as they weren't insured. They said I'd have to contact an on call district nurse instead. Got the number and after 2 hours was told if I drove another 40 mile round trip they could meet me at another hospital in another town. Did this and finally it was done. They were really apologetic for messing me around but I said "don't worry, I am not annoyed in the slightest, I just feel like I'm really actively participating in this recovery plan! If you told me to drive 200 miles because it would ensure success I would!" Lol : ))))
So the last few weeks of drinking after my first visit to the doctor have been weird. Knowing I wanted to stop but waiting for the detox, drinking felt like taking medicine and there were a lot of nights that I didn't enjoy it at all. I've remembered putting myself to bed about 4 nights out of 4 weeks, the rest have been a blackout. I've woken up in bed fully clothed, I've woken up with wine spilt all over myself, I've upset family members and had no recollection of it the next day, I've had to apologise without knowing what for. I've slipped in the toilet and badly bruised myself. I've passed out on the toilet. I've had the shakes in the morning so bad I'm spilling the coffee granules off the spoon.
I'm so relieved, drank for the last time, last night, now taking a tapering dose of Librium for 7 days, then onto acrampasate for 6 months to stop cravings.
Just played the card game Happy Families with my husband and 2 boys after tea and the irony wasn't lost on me that normally I'd have almost finished my first bottle of Chardonnay by now and would have no interest in family card games.
Feel quite calm at the moment, trying not to think too far ahead into the future. I've got to try and live in the moment.
I'm drinking mint water tonight, might have a spicy tomato juice once kids are in bed.
Looking forward to my first sober sleep tonight in months although I'm aware that I will probably have trouble sleeping...
I'm now going to change my profile picture, someone once commented that they loved rapunzel too, I didn't realise it was, I just thought she looked scared and terrified which I identified with, I'm now going for a more positive pic!
Dr checked all my vitals today which were fine but he said day 2 and 3 will be the hardest as the body will kick back, realising the alcohol isn't there. He said it won't be pleasant but to grin and bear it, said compare it to holding a stinging nettle, horrible but once it's passed, it will improve. I am so humble and grateful for the medical attention I'm being given, I really feel supported and accountable. So different from any of my own previous pathetic efforts.
Wish me luck!!
I've been waiting for my supervised home detox to start for 4 weeks now and finally it's here!
I spent last week trying to sort out my pabriinex 3 day vitamin injections, first day I drove 20 mile round trip to be told they'd left it in the other surgery, drove another 10 miles, waited an hour and got it (vvvvv painful in bum) second day got it no problem but third day was Saturday so they arranged for me to take it home and then drive 30 mile round trip to a local hospital who could give. I did this, got there and they said no they couldn't as they weren't insured. They said I'd have to contact an on call district nurse instead. Got the number and after 2 hours was told if I drove another 40 mile round trip they could meet me at another hospital in another town. Did this and finally it was done. They were really apologetic for messing me around but I said "don't worry, I am not annoyed in the slightest, I just feel like I'm really actively participating in this recovery plan! If you told me to drive 200 miles because it would ensure success I would!" Lol : ))))
So the last few weeks of drinking after my first visit to the doctor have been weird. Knowing I wanted to stop but waiting for the detox, drinking felt like taking medicine and there were a lot of nights that I didn't enjoy it at all. I've remembered putting myself to bed about 4 nights out of 4 weeks, the rest have been a blackout. I've woken up in bed fully clothed, I've woken up with wine spilt all over myself, I've upset family members and had no recollection of it the next day, I've had to apologise without knowing what for. I've slipped in the toilet and badly bruised myself. I've passed out on the toilet. I've had the shakes in the morning so bad I'm spilling the coffee granules off the spoon.
I'm so relieved, drank for the last time, last night, now taking a tapering dose of Librium for 7 days, then onto acrampasate for 6 months to stop cravings.
Just played the card game Happy Families with my husband and 2 boys after tea and the irony wasn't lost on me that normally I'd have almost finished my first bottle of Chardonnay by now and would have no interest in family card games.
Feel quite calm at the moment, trying not to think too far ahead into the future. I've got to try and live in the moment.
I'm drinking mint water tonight, might have a spicy tomato juice once kids are in bed.
Looking forward to my first sober sleep tonight in months although I'm aware that I will probably have trouble sleeping...
I'm now going to change my profile picture, someone once commented that they loved rapunzel too, I didn't realise it was, I just thought she looked scared and terrified which I identified with, I'm now going for a more positive pic!
Dr checked all my vitals today which were fine but he said day 2 and 3 will be the hardest as the body will kick back, realising the alcohol isn't there. He said it won't be pleasant but to grin and bear it, said compare it to holding a stinging nettle, horrible but once it's passed, it will improve. I am so humble and grateful for the medical attention I'm being given, I really feel supported and accountable. So different from any of my own previous pathetic efforts.
Wish me luck!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Thanks everyone! Been watching intervention on YouTube tonight.
Drank cranberry juice instead of tomato, I feel like the meds aren't doing anything but my mind isn't racing and I'm calm so I guess they must be? I just thought I'd feel out of it or woozy or something.
Just now I walked from the lounge to the kitchen to get a juice and I seriously felt so different, not staggering, holding onto the walls, creeping quietly, trying to be quiet opening the fridge so other half didn't hear. It was Just all so wrong before for so, so long.
Night night, will update tmrw, thanks for the support xxx
Drank cranberry juice instead of tomato, I feel like the meds aren't doing anything but my mind isn't racing and I'm calm so I guess they must be? I just thought I'd feel out of it or woozy or something.
Just now I walked from the lounge to the kitchen to get a juice and I seriously felt so different, not staggering, holding onto the walls, creeping quietly, trying to be quiet opening the fridge so other half didn't hear. It was Just all so wrong before for so, so long.
Night night, will update tmrw, thanks for the support xxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Thanks all, had a strange dream last night where I'd booked a holiday for 10 of my old drinking friends (all of us staying in one room!) and when we arrived the room was dirty, things weren't great, people weren't ready to pay me, it was all a bit of a shambles. I told them "go to the bar and let me sort it out". I then went to the front desk and started explaining what had happened and what we wanted them to do about it. Then I woke up.
Interpretation.
I'd made a plan but something wasn't quite right, I sought help and worked on resolving the situation.
????
Interpretation.
I'd made a plan but something wasn't quite right, I sought help and worked on resolving the situation.
????
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Thank you SwimKim!
I see my gp everyday this week, then I see my Addaction counsellor for 4 sessions after that. I'm planning on going to a drop in Saturday "sober social" group that they run on a Saturday afternoon which she says focuses on your future and people share tips and ideas, abit like here really!
I'm also planning on contacting a dear old school friend who I see randomly because;
A - she lives 200 miles away
B - she is teetotal
Now really, it's that B that made me not see her very often, I knew I could only see her daytime and sober so it needed a lot of planning. But she is the most amazing, artistic, spiritual person I know, she's known me for 30 years, knows my demons, doesn't preach to me but I can't wait to reach out to her and say "hey look at me! I'm finally sorting my life out!" Lol.
I'm also planning on doing some AA meetings from next week when I can drive again after these meds.
I'm also planning on going to a mindfulness meditation class I saw advertised or maybe Pilates or yoga.
I've had all of this on my head for at least 6 months now but the wine was just brick walling me from doing it. I literally needed HELP TO STOP and now I have.
I pray for a lovely sober day today, in fact I might walk 100 metres to my local church that I love (not overly religious but I love the building and the stained glass) and sit quietly and say that.
Peace : )))
I see my gp everyday this week, then I see my Addaction counsellor for 4 sessions after that. I'm planning on going to a drop in Saturday "sober social" group that they run on a Saturday afternoon which she says focuses on your future and people share tips and ideas, abit like here really!
I'm also planning on contacting a dear old school friend who I see randomly because;
A - she lives 200 miles away
B - she is teetotal
Now really, it's that B that made me not see her very often, I knew I could only see her daytime and sober so it needed a lot of planning. But she is the most amazing, artistic, spiritual person I know, she's known me for 30 years, knows my demons, doesn't preach to me but I can't wait to reach out to her and say "hey look at me! I'm finally sorting my life out!" Lol.
I'm also planning on doing some AA meetings from next week when I can drive again after these meds.
I'm also planning on going to a mindfulness meditation class I saw advertised or maybe Pilates or yoga.
I've had all of this on my head for at least 6 months now but the wine was just brick walling me from doing it. I literally needed HELP TO STOP and now I have.
I pray for a lovely sober day today, in fact I might walk 100 metres to my local church that I love (not overly religious but I love the building and the stained glass) and sit quietly and say that.
Peace : )))
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