Depressing desire for a beer
Chances
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Gosford, NSW
Posts: 110
Depressing desire for a beer
I was coming home a crowded train today.
Some drunk big bloke gets on and starts talking to his workmate and someone on the phone. Usually garbage and guidance on sport and family matters that only a drunk can give whilst thinking he sounded intelligent (I've been there).
After 5 minutes of listening to his rubbish and watching him nearly fall over I was like most I suppose, turned off drinking even more.
I started thinking, what will I do when I get home - since I have a day off tomorrow.
Then bang - I'll have a few tasty cold beers when I get home. That'll be great.
I only thought it for about 10 seconds really looking forward to it before realising - no, I can't drink. I'm an alcoholic and I can't ever drink again. Never.
Straight away my mind took off - I will never get to have a few quite beers. It was a disappointing and depressing revelation that persisted. A real feeling of loss - nearly grief.
It sux being an alcoholic sometimes.
Anyway, just thought I'd share that pain.
Thanks
Some drunk big bloke gets on and starts talking to his workmate and someone on the phone. Usually garbage and guidance on sport and family matters that only a drunk can give whilst thinking he sounded intelligent (I've been there).
After 5 minutes of listening to his rubbish and watching him nearly fall over I was like most I suppose, turned off drinking even more.
I started thinking, what will I do when I get home - since I have a day off tomorrow.
Then bang - I'll have a few tasty cold beers when I get home. That'll be great.
I only thought it for about 10 seconds really looking forward to it before realising - no, I can't drink. I'm an alcoholic and I can't ever drink again. Never.
Straight away my mind took off - I will never get to have a few quite beers. It was a disappointing and depressing revelation that persisted. A real feeling of loss - nearly grief.
It sux being an alcoholic sometimes.
Anyway, just thought I'd share that pain.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
Maybe it sucks right now but think how sucky you’d feel if you do drink. I’ll say I felt lower than …………..
Also thing of the jack pots avoided by not drinking, like jail, institution, loss of family, job, auto and on and on. One thing I will never miss is the sound of the jail door closing behind me and explaining to the kids honestly where I was.
That’s just my opinion.
BE WELL
Maybe it sucks right now but think how sucky you’d feel if you do drink. I’ll say I felt lower than …………..
Also thing of the jack pots avoided by not drinking, like jail, institution, loss of family, job, auto and on and on. One thing I will never miss is the sound of the jail door closing behind me and explaining to the kids honestly where I was.
That’s just my opinion.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Newtown, CT USA
Posts: 58
Chances - Those moments are pretty terrible; the sad nostalgia, the true feeling of "never again" -and then your mind starts replaying the good times you had in the past while having a few beers, and how others are still enjoying times like that. But your mind never replays the consequences of those "good" times, all the things you did while drinking that you regretted, how you felt afterwards, what damage you did. That's the mind's trick - it's your Addictive Voice," your mind's hard-wired, confused response to alcohol. Because alcohol is so pleasurable (at first) your lower brain thinks it must be necessary for survival, like food or water, and it DRIVES you toward it. It will do ANYTHING you get you to drink. It will come up with any lie, it will make you feel sad and nostalgic, it will make you CRAVE a drink. All you can do is tell that nasty little Addictive Voice in your head to "Shut up" - to "Leave you alone." YOU have to be stronger than IT.
recoverystarter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 273
I feel the same, It's a nice day I could go a cold bottle of beer.
Then I think God, I will be hear next month on day 1 thinking I am dieing due to aniexty.
I am only on day 2 but it is hard, we just need to stick with it my friend.
Then I think God, I will be hear next month on day 1 thinking I am dieing due to aniexty.
I am only on day 2 but it is hard, we just need to stick with it my friend.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Good job on not drinking.
I know the feeling. Seeing people on outdoor patios enjoying their drink, to the drunken buffoons you describe to all the alcohol ads on tv. Booze is every where. And I can't safely drink it. I know this because I have succumbed to these enticements so may times.
And then the next day, banging my head, hating myself and the fear, anxiety and self loathing that come along with it.
It's been four and a half years now since my last drink. Now, I feel sorry for the drunken buffoons. The ads on tv repel me. So many people in them all having fun because of drink. I pity those who watch these ads and act on them by trying the product. Yeah, the happiness jumps right out of the bottle and into my living room.
It doesn't work that way for me any more. I'm an alcoholic and I can not safely drink. I don't miss it, I don't want it and it will not make me drink. Just the opposite.
You did great. You didn't miss any fun by not drinking. You may have lost a vicious hangover and a load of regret and all that goes with it.
You did good. You should be proud of yourself. I'm proud for you.
Give it time. The folly of the desire to drink thinking you're missing something may very well pass. I hope it does, and I wish you the best.
I know the feeling. Seeing people on outdoor patios enjoying their drink, to the drunken buffoons you describe to all the alcohol ads on tv. Booze is every where. And I can't safely drink it. I know this because I have succumbed to these enticements so may times.
And then the next day, banging my head, hating myself and the fear, anxiety and self loathing that come along with it.
It's been four and a half years now since my last drink. Now, I feel sorry for the drunken buffoons. The ads on tv repel me. So many people in them all having fun because of drink. I pity those who watch these ads and act on them by trying the product. Yeah, the happiness jumps right out of the bottle and into my living room.
It doesn't work that way for me any more. I'm an alcoholic and I can not safely drink. I don't miss it, I don't want it and it will not make me drink. Just the opposite.
You did great. You didn't miss any fun by not drinking. You may have lost a vicious hangover and a load of regret and all that goes with it.
You did good. You should be proud of yourself. I'm proud for you.
Give it time. The folly of the desire to drink thinking you're missing something may very well pass. I hope it does, and I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
The only way for me to not drink
and kill myself was to surround myself
with others in the same boat as I.
Folks with an addiction to poison.
Mind altering substances.
There are many positive, affective
solutions available out there in the
world to help any of us to help us
live a sober or clean life one day at
a time.
Find one that will work for you.
I was taught the AA program 25
yrs ago and it was and still is extremely
affective for me and my life. It works
because I continue to incorporate the
steps and principles in all areas of my
life to keep me healthy, happy and honest.
Surrounding myself with many in those
rooms of AA gave me a sense of security.
When I felt alone in the world, in my family,
when no one understood me, could
communicate with me, I knew where I
needed and wanted to be and what
an awesome place to be than right
there in my seat for one hour safe and
sound listening, absorbing, learning
helpful ways to deal with life on lifes
terms.
I never have to be alone in life with
my addiction and recovery and no
one else has to either.
Addiction is not a curse. It is an illness
or whatever it means to you. It is a sickness
that affects every inch of our beings.
Our minds, bodys and souls and those
around us.
Listen, learn, absorb and apply some
sort of recovery program to help you
heal and become strong living on a
recovery foundation built to hold u
up for yrs to come.
and kill myself was to surround myself
with others in the same boat as I.
Folks with an addiction to poison.
Mind altering substances.
There are many positive, affective
solutions available out there in the
world to help any of us to help us
live a sober or clean life one day at
a time.
Find one that will work for you.
I was taught the AA program 25
yrs ago and it was and still is extremely
affective for me and my life. It works
because I continue to incorporate the
steps and principles in all areas of my
life to keep me healthy, happy and honest.
Surrounding myself with many in those
rooms of AA gave me a sense of security.
When I felt alone in the world, in my family,
when no one understood me, could
communicate with me, I knew where I
needed and wanted to be and what
an awesome place to be than right
there in my seat for one hour safe and
sound listening, absorbing, learning
helpful ways to deal with life on lifes
terms.
I never have to be alone in life with
my addiction and recovery and no
one else has to either.
Addiction is not a curse. It is an illness
or whatever it means to you. It is a sickness
that affects every inch of our beings.
Our minds, bodys and souls and those
around us.
Listen, learn, absorb and apply some
sort of recovery program to help you
heal and become strong living on a
recovery foundation built to hold u
up for yrs to come.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I've been there and felt sad too. Missing the conviviality of a drink or two on a warm summer's day. Then I truly remember the drinking on a warm day. Alone. Passing out. Feeling awful the next day. It's OK to mourn a little but don't dwell on it.
Those feelings pass. Life does get better. I'm glad you didn't drink.
Those feelings pass. Life does get better. I'm glad you didn't drink.
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Yes, I've been noticing this too with all the nice weather we are having where I am, booze is everywhere.
I have found myself almost subconsciously snapping back at my AV recently however, literally as soon as I start to think about alcohol, I tell it where to go. (Usually very rudely).
It tends to subside at this point, whereas in the past I would have dwelled on the thought for ages, battering myself down until I eventually decided it was time for a drink.
I can't let myself be fooled again by that.
I have found myself almost subconsciously snapping back at my AV recently however, literally as soon as I start to think about alcohol, I tell it where to go. (Usually very rudely).
It tends to subside at this point, whereas in the past I would have dwelled on the thought for ages, battering myself down until I eventually decided it was time for a drink.
I can't let myself be fooled again by that.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Chances, I understand your nostalgia and flash of regret as most of us have experienced them. I would urge you to be very strict with yourself and not indulge these thoughts at all. Make a conscious effort to think about something else right away.
Unfortunately cravings can hit us hard, but we can also develop the habit of pushing them away ruthlessly.
The 'relaxing after work' reflex can be diverted into other rituals. I sat down and had a cup of tea, but you might want a soft drink and walk around the garden. Whatever you choose will become your new habit for relaxing.
Unfortunately cravings can hit us hard, but we can also develop the habit of pushing them away ruthlessly.
The 'relaxing after work' reflex can be diverted into other rituals. I sat down and had a cup of tea, but you might want a soft drink and walk around the garden. Whatever you choose will become your new habit for relaxing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Just wanted to say that I can relate. Fall beer season was always my thing and this year all these fall beer festivals are popping up specifically in my town. It kind of slugs you in the gut to realize you can't do any of that anymore, but I also keep on remembering where it leads and why I quit.
I know if I picked up, I'd be sicker than a dog the next day and have severe cravings to boot for the next 2 weeks.
I know if I picked up, I'd be sicker than a dog the next day and have severe cravings to boot for the next 2 weeks.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
Chances,
I like to think about how I'm glad I am not going to become that out-of-control drunken buffoon and that it's great I am out of the trap and no longer need to drink. Concentrate on the positive aspects of sobriety, like feeling and looking great. If you start dwelling on how you feel deprived, you're on a loser in any event.
I like to think about how I'm glad I am not going to become that out-of-control drunken buffoon and that it's great I am out of the trap and no longer need to drink. Concentrate on the positive aspects of sobriety, like feeling and looking great. If you start dwelling on how you feel deprived, you're on a loser in any event.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
Great post, I have had many times like this. Seeing others having a good time or "at least what I perceive is a good time". Thinking about how I can't ever do that or be like them again, it is very frustrating.
South Asian
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 121
Frosted glass, ice cold beer, warm Autumn sun on your bare skin. Everything is right with the world. Heaven on earth? It's just not the same if you replace the beer with an iced tea. I still haven't worked out how to get my mind to entirely accept and realise that the beer is not for me. I suppose it just takes time. Well done on resisting the temptation.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
I don't want to drink, not I can't :)
I think we've all been there at times, I have for sure. Recently I have been around some cause and effect alcohol related issues with loved ones. My mindset today as I reflect on the pain alcohol is causing others around me is I don't want to drink as opposed to I can't.
I am starting to really look at things through another lense - maybe it's my season in life, perhaps but my heat is filled knowing I have been released from the bondage of alcohol, today........
You're not alone, keep working and perhaps one day the thought won't enter your mind. If it does maybe you'll smile and say I don't want to drink.......
I am starting to really look at things through another lense - maybe it's my season in life, perhaps but my heat is filled knowing I have been released from the bondage of alcohol, today........
You're not alone, keep working and perhaps one day the thought won't enter your mind. If it does maybe you'll smile and say I don't want to drink.......
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Originally Posted by tambdy 
I feel the same, It's a nice day I could go a cold bottle of beer.
Then I think God, I will be hear next month on day 1 thinking I am dieing due to aniexty.
I am only on day 2 but it is hard, we just need to stick with it my friend.
Then I think God, I will be hear next month on day 1 thinking I am dieing due to aniexty.
I am only on day 2 but it is hard, we just need to stick with it my friend.
Alcoholics Anonymous : Alcoholics Anonymous
I'm not a big reader, yet, but the key points are highlighted early, and then reinforced.
Essentially, admit to your higher power you are out of control, ask Him to take the burden.
For me the burden lifted. The anxiety was so frustrating. Although it gets better each day.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: canada
Posts: 748
That experience is part of your addiction dying. Over time as you build new non-alcohol pleasure pathways in your brain, those alcohol related pathways will fade into oblivion. The cravings will get less and less. They will become passing thoughts without a "hook" that grabs your mind. Then one day you will realize you can't remember the last time you had a craving or thought about alcohol in an attached way.
If you do sobriety work and fill the alcohol void with a purpose filled life you will eventually reach a state of a peaceful, serene and happy life where passing thoughts of alcohol become moments of gratitude.
It takes time and patience, so hang in there. You can do this.
If you do sobriety work and fill the alcohol void with a purpose filled life you will eventually reach a state of a peaceful, serene and happy life where passing thoughts of alcohol become moments of gratitude.
It takes time and patience, so hang in there. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
I can really relate, Chances. I had a very easy first month, but recently have had some of those fuzzy dreamy thoughts of cold beers. I have to remind myself that it's a mirage. Drinking was never that lovely oasis for me. I'm misremembering-a trick my AV is playing on me. My drinking was more of a cesspool of vomit mixed with tears and loads of shame and self-hatred. Not such a lovely oasis, is it?? Not going back to that. No way!
Delfin
Delfin
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
ChancesAh ,
I know how you felt and well done for getting through that spell .
I got a similar mini "poor me" today after I trimmed my hedge , mowed the lawn , had a shower got into some shorts tshirt sunglasses then BOOM !!!!!I got the strangest feeling I was just going to start off an imaginary 12 pack of cold beer , I honestly forgot I was sober and in a program ......................... Bloody habits hmmm the mind plays some funny tricks doesn,t it . Anyway I treated myself to a lovely pineapple and coconut smoothie with crushed ice done on my new juice/blender contraption and enjoyed the afternoon .
I know how you felt and well done for getting through that spell .
I got a similar mini "poor me" today after I trimmed my hedge , mowed the lawn , had a shower got into some shorts tshirt sunglasses then BOOM !!!!!I got the strangest feeling I was just going to start off an imaginary 12 pack of cold beer , I honestly forgot I was sober and in a program ......................... Bloody habits hmmm the mind plays some funny tricks doesn,t it . Anyway I treated myself to a lovely pineapple and coconut smoothie with crushed ice done on my new juice/blender contraption and enjoyed the afternoon .
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Originally Posted by Lance40
That experience is part of your addiction dying. Over time as you build new non-alcohol pleasure pathways in your brain, those alcohol related pathways will fade into oblivion. The cravings will get less and less. They will become passing thoughts without a "hook" that grabs your mind. Then one day you will realize you can't remember the last time you had a craving or thought about alcohol in an attached way.
If you do sobriety work and fill the alcohol void with a purpose filled life you will eventually reach a state of a peaceful, serene and happy life where passing thoughts of alcohol become moments of gratitude.
It takes time and patience, so hang in there. You can do this.
If you do sobriety work and fill the alcohol void with a purpose filled life you will eventually reach a state of a peaceful, serene and happy life where passing thoughts of alcohol become moments of gratitude.
It takes time and patience, so hang in there. You can do this.
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