Hi and welcome.
I suggest going to the forum on this site called Friends and Families and also attending Al Anon meetings in your area.
The hows and whys are better handled there because of their long experience in dealing with us addicted people who do not have a reputation of golden honesty and following through in many cases.
AA IS NOT A SENTENCE, ITíS A REPRIEVE.
ALCOHOL-ISM= INCREDIBLE SHORT MEMORY.
I CAME FOR MY DRINKING AND STAYED FOR MY THINKING.
WE ARE NOT FAILING AS LONG AS WE KEEP TRYING.
WHAT I USED TO CALL BOREDOM I NOW CALL SERENITY.