Bernadette777

Hi guys,

I wanted to start a new thread, but was unfamiliar in doing so - so please excuse me for adding this post to this thread. JUST GOT NEW THREAD YO WORK, THANKS DEE I hope no one is mad at me but I've been racking my brains out thinking I should write the exabf a letter since September is a rough month for him emotionally. Well--- I went through some old texts (I know I should have deleted them a long time ago) but regardless - there is something good here I need to share. I realize everything i wanted to write to him/ well.... I've already written it to him, and you know what he didn't have it in his heart to respond to me then - so, I just had a realization that if he didn't respond when we were in contact - he wouldn't give a damn if I wriotechim now- or even respond now. I think I just had a huge breakthrough, it's over, it's been over, i hurt & im choked up - but after taking a deep breath just now, I realize that it wasn't that great of a relationship once his alcoholism, drug abuse & mental illness (manic depression) showed itself. I'm gonna try to say goodbye To SR now, I don't want to enable myself if that makes any sense- I feel I've beat a dead horse in myself. But I know I've received great help, support & kindness from SR & the wonderful friends out here. I feel if I keep talking about it, I'll linger more on it. I love you guys, I'm always praying for you. God bless all on SR. I just really feel I hit my bottom right now & I want to move on & up. I gave him (exabf ) all I could, I wrote my heart out to him when there was contact, he didn't even respond. I'm done. I'll love you guys.
Always, Bernadette777 God bless.

ScottFromWI

Glad you finally have some closure on your relationship issues. I'd recommend against cutting off your support via SR though....do you have local support?

TroyW

Hey Bernadette,

Yeah, I can relate actually. It's tough to fully let go, isn't it? Not sure what the answer to that is, but if you manage to figure it out, please let me know.

But yeah, I know, it can be tough. I think you're probably right in not bothering to contact him again. What's the point, right? I know you'll probably always love him, and there will always be a place in your heart for him. Nonetheless, times like this in life it's best to use your head instead of your heart.

All the best.

Bernadette777

Hi Scott,

I'm good with the local support. I've learned that as much as I'd like, love to talk about the wonderful times in the beginning with him, it seems that the majority of the relationship was focused on the consequences of his addictions. I really do feel bad, I'd like to show support to him this month (as I said in thread - it's a rough emotionally filled month) but I don't think it will matter to him. I really poured my heart out to him through text- would have wanted to do it in person, but he didn't give me the chance. All I wanted was for him to get the help needed, and to love him the rest of my life. I'll be in touch on SR, I understand - it's important. I'll check in, I'm just so tired of rethinking of the whole relationship - I guess it was PMS (sorry - female thing) this past week that got me all sentimental. Best wishes and success for you. Thank you for responding! Bernadette777

Bernadette777

Hi Troy,
Yes, it's tough, it's not easy. But I really read what i already sent him. My feelings are in the toilet according to his actions. That's what hurts. I don't matter. To him anymore. I saw a picture of him, he lost a lot of weight, but there was a picture of a drink infront of him, so I got an answer without asking.,thanks Troy,,I appreciate your kindness.

Soberwolf

Bernadette777

Soberwolf,

I just wanted to say thank you for the hug response. I just woke up & realized it's a new day. A day for healing, hope & happiness. I needed a hug, thank you very much. I pray that all in the forum have a blessed, successful, joyful & peaceful day. thanks guys (Scott, Troy & SoberWolf for your responses, God bless y'all.