Getting Serious!
 

Hello. I have had a summer of over indulgence and need to get on track. I love my wine and drink far too much of it. I know I'm an alcoholic and I can't keep doing this anymore. One of my biggest concerns is a dull pain in my right side (liver area) that I've had off and on for quite some time. I did recently have a physical and everything seemed to come back okay. I am so angry at myself for being so irresponsible and stupid. I'm not scared at all to stop, I'm excited about it. I guess the only fear is that I won't have fun without it? Does that sound crazy? How pathetic is that! Anyway, thought I'd just post here and see if anyone can relate to the self loathing that I am experiencing. Thanks! :)

I can relate to the self loathing, very much so. Been there and done that many times. Don't beat yourself up. You are here and you recognize that your need to make a change. That's a great first step.

Welcome!

I think that self-loathing is very common among alcoholics. I think it's one of the hooks of the disease. You feel so bad about yourself, the thought of stopping drinking and facing who you are can seem impossible.

I'm glad you're ready to change your life.

Ellie In my opinion No you do not sound crazy for thinking that . Matter of fact that was on my mind to . What fun will I have ?
I had to turn that around &* truly *ask myself Was I really having fun ? If ruining my closeness with my family & making my health bad or braking every moral I had before I started drinking only to be ashamed of myself - No that was No fun :(
Dig deep in yourself you'll find the right answer . Alcohol takes everything away from you - it's pure Hell !!

Thank you for your responses. Nest, you are so right. When I think of the shame and embarrassment and all the mornings trying to piece the night before back together..it's the worst feeling in the world. I know that it's just not worth it. What a vicious cycle. I have so many things to look forward to and things to be grateful for and this is one major problem that I have struggled with for so many years. I can't stand battling it anymore. I thank you for your support.

Ellie :grouphug: We all are here to help - 1 day at a time !!

I'm glad you're getting serious about recovery. Sobriety takes effort but is so worth it. :)

I agree with Anna. The problem is that the self loathing becomes so painful that you turn to drink to lessen the pain. At least that's what happened to me.

You can do this!

KP