Is it a want or a need?
 

Right now I'm like a yo to between being determined to stop drinking and thinking it's fine and there's not a problem.
I think this is a case of having to stop rather than really wanting to. I want to moderate but don't seem able.....

I don't think it matters tbh. I know I could only stop when I really wanted to. I also stopped when I had to but then once I could drink again I did.

Coming here is a great start :) hopefully reading others' stories will make you see you're not alone and help you in your start to sobriety

I think that's pretty usual Adeline - you can get out of the cycle tho.

I really had to make sure that the effort I put into staying sober was greater than the effort I was putting into continuing to drink - y'know?

D

Hi.

In my experience over the years one needs to WANT TO stop drinking. Some arrive at this point relatively early on and with effort and action achieve recovery, I find the longer one waits the more difficult achievement becomes. I’ve seen just the opposite in some cases. One was a man 92YO who got sober after many years of drinking. I know he wanted to.

Try to understand alcohol is powerful, baffling, cunning and insidious along with the fact that alcoholism is progressive for the rest of our lives within us.

I’ve never heard of continued drinking bringing on good results, always the opposite.

Your choice.

BE WELL

I couldn't stop drinking over a lifetime of hard-drinking because, although part of me wanted to stop, something else inside me definitely did not. Once I realized how to deal with that Other Thing in me - it was was my addictive voice, the part of me that kept saying "it's fine; there is not a problem; I can have just one drink" - I began to make progress. It really helped to look at that voice as something complete separate from me. ("IT is not ME"). It sounds a little crazy but its a legitimate way of looking at it; it turns out that some people have understood how to isolate and subjugate that Addictive/Compulsive inside of them for thousands of years.

Adeline I didn't get a choice in the end . Yes I wanted it , I thought I needed it . Now it's down to I want & need my health ... One day at a Time :)

Hi Adelina
I relate to what you are saying. I'm sure many will. That is the obsession with alcohol, trying to pull you back. Its like a bad relationship. I know its going no where and will only get worse, but I can't stop fantasizing the 'idea' of what I think the relationship should be like, so I want to keep going back and trying again. Only to find out that yes, the relationshp is killing me, I have to stop. My relationship with alcohol grew worse and worse, the consequences from returning more dire. I have been quitting for 12 years. But I guess you're done when you're done. There is nothing 'normal' about obsessing over whether or not to drink. Its alcoholism. And it will get worse.

Hi Adelina, removing alcohol from one's life has NEVER been a bad or regrettable decision. Wish you the best.

Thank you everyone it really is great to have people around that know exactly what I'm talking about.
I really don't want to get worse, I sometimes think I just haven't hit my rock bottom yet but what will that be? Do I really want to find out. The logic in me says it's time to stop, I guess it's the addictive voice telling me I'm not that bad yet and I can keep this thing under control.
It's so so hard when the main thing you've used in life to de stress, cope, socialise, celebrate etc is drink ... i look at people that don't drink and think ..... how do you do it???

Time to develop new coping mechanisms. Its challenging, I totally relate. My brain is habituated to request alcohol to cope because, well, that's what it knows. But like any muscle I have to train it to do what I want it to do (not that the brain is a muscle, bad analogy :) ). At first the muscle is sore, requests that I stop and do what I used to do. But after a while it builds strength and the new activity becomes normal. I'm so habituated to alcohol that my brain will even request alcohol when I'm simply thirsty, or hungry (the old HALT thing). Boredom is a killer for me. Give it time, keep replacing those cravings with another activity.

I know what you mean Adelina I kept trying to moderate and my bottoms just kept getting worse trust me just put your all into not drinking today & use the support here :hug:

trust me by stopping drinking you save yourself a lot of trouble

Remember that addiction to alcohol is progressive.

If I could go back in time, say 15 or 20 years ago, and see what the volume and frequency of my drinking would turn into, I'd have been horrified.

You don't have to wait for the "bottom." It keeps sinking lower when we convince ourselves that moderation is within our grasp. Keep drinking? You'll have plenty of regrets.

Taking action now -- and carving out a new life in sobriety -- is a choice I can assure you that you'll never regret.

In less time than you might imagine, you'll find new ways to cope and learn that booze isn't a prerequisite for socializing and fun.

You can do this, Adelina.

At some point I think we all have to come to terms with the impossible, and for me that was moderating my drinking.

It didn't matter how much I wanted it, it was never going to happen, and there are many things in life like that, not just drinking.

Acceptance was a very important thing in Sobriety for me!! :)

There's several threads on these forums about stopping before you've hit rock bottom. That was a decision I've made, and yes, my AV is using it against me ("you don't really have a problem, just look how bad things are for some of the other people on here"). But luckily my AV doesn't get to call the shots (or order them), I need to do that, and I've decided not to drink any more.

Just ask yourself, how many people ever deeply regret not getting drunk? How many say "if only I'd had that one for the road". How many people's lives are destroyed by sobriety? The choice seems pretty clear when you look at it that way.

Boy oh boy, all so true. If only.....