Juno

Forgive me if I'm posting on the wrong board...but, I'd like some suggestions or advice about my situation.

I've found myself, for the second time in 3 years, in a relationship with, what I believe, an alcoholic, or at best, someone who abuses alcohol.
I left my last boyfriend (whom I lived with for 18 months) because if his drinking. He knew very well that he had a problem, but would not deal with it. It took his doctor confronting him after a blood test for him to acknowledge this issue (and even apologized to me for his behavior a year after I left him).

Now, I'm in a relationship (7 months) with someone who, in all appearances, seems highly responsible and successful, but has a tendency to drink way too much. While visiting him, I’ve often heard him opening 2 beers back to back…but this is always done while he thinks I’m unaware of what he’s doing; while I’m in the bathroom or upstairs. And, I’ve often seen/heard him consume 3 cans of beer within 30 minutes. I KNOW this is not normal behavior, but I’m not a confrontational person, which is the reason I stayed in the other relationship for 18 months when I should have left after 2. I do not want to repeat that mistake, but I have no clue how to approach this issue with my new boyfriend in a delicate way. Or, should I even worry about being delicate?? I don’t want to tiptoe around the issue and let this go on for months before I lose my temper and “dump� him in a blazing furry. I know I need to say something. Any suggestions?

Chy

You have every right to ask the question. Will he be honest, you'll know! If he does have an issue, maybe he'll appreciate you outing him, maybe he won't , there is such a flipside to it all, but one thing is for sure tippy toeing won't resolve anything. You should let him know how aware you are he really enjoy's his evening beer, and ask him, is it something you should be concerned with.

Check out our Friends and Family forum as well.

Juno

I did mention it to him a few months ago, and he basically told me I was foolish to be concerned.
Another attempt (just an innocent comment) was met with anger.

But, I will try again...

Thank you Chy.
I will re-post my message in the F&F area.

sickk&tired

Hi Juno,

I remember when someone confronted me about it, I was livid. But only because I knew they were right =(.

Paulie

Ditto to S&T.

Chy

Yea, that was the flipside I was talking about. Well he's aware your aware something is amiss, so now, you have to decide what your willing to endure.