adelina123

Morning all
I'm not hung over!!! Feel much better than yesterday morning that's for sure!!
I reason I labelled this post what I did is that I've come to realise that I've been avoiding admitting there's a problem.
To me .... recognising you have a problem with alcohol ( or whatever label you want to give it) is like being diagnosed with a long term Health condition such as diabetes or a food allergy in which you have to change your life style completely forever.
Since acknowledging there might be a problem my drinking has got worse not better. It's like I'm in denial and I'm trying to rebel against the diagnosis.
For instance .... person diagnosed as diabetic binges on chocolate and cake because they can't accept their condition.
Me ... drinker .... binging on drink because I can't accept I have a problem.
It's like I'm avoiding the inevitable. ... i have to stop drinking!!!
Day 2 xx

bexxed

When I first said those words, it was like I was hearing someone with a voice like mine saying them. Denial got really tricky, after that, too.

adelina123

So I guess what you're saying is even though I'm writing this ... its not the end of the denial path still

bexxed

No. I don't know what it is for you. Just, sharing that it was a dissociative experience for me, and that when I drank after that, drinking was different. For me.

adelina123

I see what you're saying, indeed since acknowledging I have a problem every time I pour a drink i know it's wrong wrong wrong but still do it anyway!!

Soberwolf

I know what's its like Adelina I got sober as a fresh 31 year old I'm 33 now

All the ppl I knew were still out getting drunk & high and I didn't want to be alcoholic believe me I tried I really tried lol I kept landing on my arse waking up to total embarrassment & shame

it stayed like that until I threw up a white flag & said I'm done I'm alcoholic

I'd love to tell you it was all roses after that but it simply wasn't

knowing your alcoholic and drinking is one of the most crushing things ive ever been through

The days were building up 5 days here 18 days there but then one day I just said thats its I'm done like DONE no more....that day was like hell angel on one shoulder devil on the other my head thinking a million things per second

I started to protect my sobriety the same way I'd stop myself falling

I'm 33 now and I never used to have much....over the last 26 months that has reversed I have a king size bed new oven new curtains & blinds all round the house

breakfast is a beautiful thing

Adelina I want you to know it doesn't matter on the label the fact you recognise a problem is massive in itself

As for never drinking again (this brought me peace) take it inch by inch heartbeat by heartbeat day by day together we'l get there you don't have to be alone with this no more

Carver

Yep I avoided it for years. Admitting it out loud to another person is what changed it for me. I couldn't hide from it anymore

Keep up the good work!

hpdw

Adelina I dont want to hijack your thread but for some reason I am unable to start a new one ( admins what am i doing wrong please ) . I will drop what I originally wanted to post here if thats ok .

Im delighted to say I am one week sober ( a day at a time ) .

I am returning to work tonight after my summer hols for my nightshift where I work as a security guard .

The first 6 days of my holidays were a blur with drink and when I got home I found SR and i,m so happy I did .
I knew I was at my gutter level and had to do something so here I am 7 days sober and so happy .
I initially had thought i,d go back to AA and did mention that in an earlier post but I find this site so very helpful I might not go to AA but will leave that option open .
What I love about this site that there is ALWAYS a post that resonates , ALWAYS a post that gives you that AH HA moment because ALL of the people here are in the same boat to some degree whether is 1 day or 40 years you will always find helpful posts .
I encourage newcomers to listen to the veterans , they know what they're talking about . I,m a newcomer here also but not new to trying to become sober . A day at a time I am 100 percent determined this time round .

God Bless

hpdw

Morning Adelina123 , I cant add anything to what soberwolf says . That was exactly me . Stick with it ,its worth the world .

adelina123

Don't worry Tam.S You can hijack when you like lol.
Thank you sober wolf and everyone else. It's really good to hear from people that can really relate to how I'm feeling right now xxx

PurpleKnight

Day 2 is fantastic Adelina!! Keep it going!!

D122y

Congrats!

How to Quit Drinking without Alcoholics Anonymous: 5 Steps

Just trying to help.

Eat healthy, vitamins, water, sleep, sleep...repeat.

Get ready for the anxiety. My world currently.

It gets better every day.

Dee74

It's a site issue, not your fault Tam.
Try a one word title when posting your thread.

D