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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Tabasco and welcome. Isn't it amazing how we (women) can quit immediately when we find out we're pregnant...mental obsession with alcohol just vanishes. Maybe my addiction became my unborn child...don't know. Maybe the childs physical development doesn't suffer from my drinking once they are born, but their emotional and psychological development does.
My late husband was an alcoholic as well. Not of the breed I am but addicted none the less. He wanted me to be able to be a more functioning alcoholic. I was constantly quitting, only to have him sabotage me. We were so entangled in a web of codependency and addiction I couldn't tell which was up. I never achieved more than 9 months sober while with him. It was terrible. I loved him so much but I'm quite sure the only way I would ever have achieved sobriety with him (he died of cancer almost 4 years ago) would have been to really figure out my codependency (which I'm only now realizing how debilitating that is). Who am I? Where does he stop and I start? Completely detaching his addiction from mine. Completely owning me and my actions. Not a challenge I could have figured out without help, a plan and a serious commitment.
My late husband was an alcoholic as well. Not of the breed I am but addicted none the less. He wanted me to be able to be a more functioning alcoholic. I was constantly quitting, only to have him sabotage me. We were so entangled in a web of codependency and addiction I couldn't tell which was up. I never achieved more than 9 months sober while with him. It was terrible. I loved him so much but I'm quite sure the only way I would ever have achieved sobriety with him (he died of cancer almost 4 years ago) would have been to really figure out my codependency (which I'm only now realizing how debilitating that is). Who am I? Where does he stop and I start? Completely detaching his addiction from mine. Completely owning me and my actions. Not a challenge I could have figured out without help, a plan and a serious commitment.
I know it's spelled Tabasco
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 
Hi Tabasco and welcome. Isn't it amazing how we (women) can quit immediately when we find out we're pregnant...mental obsession with alcohol just vanishes. Maybe my addiction became my unborn child...don't know. Maybe the childs physical development doesn't suffer from my drinking once they are born, but their emotional and psychological development does.
My late husband was an alcoholic as well. Not of the breed I am but addicted none the less. He wanted me to be able to be a more functioning alcoholic. I was constantly quitting, only to have him sabotage me. We were so entangled in a web of codependency and addiction I couldn't tell which was up. I never achieved more than 9 months sober while with him. It was terrible. I loved him so much but I'm quite sure the only way I would ever have achieved sobriety with him (he died of cancer almost 4 years ago) would have been to really figure out my codependency (which I'm only now realizing how debilitating that is). Who am I? Where does he stop and I start? Completely detaching his addiction from mine. Completely owning me and my actions. Not a challenge I could have figured out without help, a plan and a serious commitment.
My late husband was an alcoholic as well. Not of the breed I am but addicted none the less. He wanted me to be able to be a more functioning alcoholic. I was constantly quitting, only to have him sabotage me. We were so entangled in a web of codependency and addiction I couldn't tell which was up. I never achieved more than 9 months sober while with him. It was terrible. I loved him so much but I'm quite sure the only way I would ever have achieved sobriety with him (he died of cancer almost 4 years ago) would have been to really figure out my codependency (which I'm only now realizing how debilitating that is). Who am I? Where does he stop and I start? Completely detaching his addiction from mine. Completely owning me and my actions. Not a challenge I could have figured out without help, a plan and a serious commitment.
Its extremely sad when my husband and I have to keep track over "who's turn is it to get sloshed while the other cares for the baby" we always made sure one of us was sober to take care of our baby. Instead we should BOTH be sober and enjoying this new miracle.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 266
At least you had one of you sober. We would both be sloshed. It was so sad. I hope i never go back to that. I never drank when preggo either, just never felt the need at all. Even after i had my child i didn't drink for like 2 months. I was just too worried about everything. But my husband finally talked me into it and it all went down hill from there. 
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