I HAVE to do this
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Georgia
Posts: 240
I HAVE to do this
Today is another Day 1 for me. This stuff is killing me and I HAVE to stop drinking. It's destroying my relationship and is making me hate myself that much more than usual.
Every time I drink I get closer and closer to not coming back from it. The self-hatred is adding to even more self-destructive behavior that I recognize but seem unable and unwilling to stop. I come up with so many reasons and excuses for drinking. I also have a bad habit of blaming other people’s behavior for my desire to drink.
I’m currently seeing a therapist for my drinking problem and reading on SR. I’ve been to AA meetings and though I enjoy the meeting and hearing the experiences of others I struggle with the social side of the meetings. I have a real problem communicating with others. I tend to keep to myself. I’m afraid to communicate and commit for fear I will fail and disappoint people. (It’s taken me months to get the courage to post here again.) Crazy huh.
Anyway, after reading several posts today I’ve committed to reach out and state my intent to quit drinking and to post here for accountability. I would appreciate any advise or direction to help me on this journey.
Thanks for reading my post.
Every time I drink I get closer and closer to not coming back from it. The self-hatred is adding to even more self-destructive behavior that I recognize but seem unable and unwilling to stop. I come up with so many reasons and excuses for drinking. I also have a bad habit of blaming other people’s behavior for my desire to drink.
I’m currently seeing a therapist for my drinking problem and reading on SR. I’ve been to AA meetings and though I enjoy the meeting and hearing the experiences of others I struggle with the social side of the meetings. I have a real problem communicating with others. I tend to keep to myself. I’m afraid to communicate and commit for fear I will fail and disappoint people. (It’s taken me months to get the courage to post here again.) Crazy huh.
Anyway, after reading several posts today I’ve committed to reach out and state my intent to quit drinking and to post here for accountability. I would appreciate any advise or direction to help me on this journey.
Thanks for reading my post.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Labgirl. Sounds like you are on the right track by seeing your therapist. Regarding the AA meetings, you don't need to share...you can just listen. With time you might feel more comfortable and want to, but if it helps to just go an listen to just that. It's perfectly safe to just "pass" if you are called on.
Perhaps you could also become more involved with SR rather than just reading? How about joining a monthly thread in the newcomers thread's forum? Being around even a "virtual" group that are in the same situation as you can really help. Posting daily can give you some accountability too.
The real crux of the issue is accountability and being truthful to yourself. Accepting that under no circumstances can you ever take that first drink will be a prerequisite to any plan working. We all know about the excuses and blame, but to really make this happen you've got to just kick that to the curb and get serious/honest. SR is a great place to help you with this too, hope you can stick around.
Perhaps you could also become more involved with SR rather than just reading? How about joining a monthly thread in the newcomers thread's forum? Being around even a "virtual" group that are in the same situation as you can really help. Posting daily can give you some accountability too.
The real crux of the issue is accountability and being truthful to yourself. Accepting that under no circumstances can you ever take that first drink will be a prerequisite to any plan working. We all know about the excuses and blame, but to really make this happen you've got to just kick that to the curb and get serious/honest. SR is a great place to help you with this too, hope you can stick around.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Welcome back to the posting side Labgirl. The good thing is you are strong enough to make this a successful day 1. You have to dig deep and find the motivation to not drink today. That's all it takes, just don't drink today. NO matter what your AV throws at you, don't drink today. Divert your attention, do anything to distract your AV and by all means, don't negotiate with it.
Guess what... if you don't drink today, tomorrow will be a better day for you.
You've got a whole community here in your corner. Reading old threads and posting often helped me early on and keeps helping me today. You can do this and you are not alone.
Guess what... if you don't drink today, tomorrow will be a better day for you.
You've got a whole community here in your corner. Reading old threads and posting often helped me early on and keeps helping me today. You can do this and you are not alone.
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
Congratulations on day one. It's a huge thing to start this new journey and you should be proud of yourself for reaching out.
I attend AA meetings and if you're willing to give them a go I recommend going to a bunch of different meetings to see which ones are for you. I don't really like big meetings but after I went to a few I started texting some other people I'd met and they recommended some others to me.
I attend AA meetings and if you're willing to give them a go I recommend going to a bunch of different meetings to see which ones are for you. I don't really like big meetings but after I went to a few I started texting some other people I'd met and they recommended some others to me.
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
The self loathing and feeling trapped was all my life had been reduced to- I had a feeling of impending doom- alcohol gave me a few hours relief
After one day at a time here four years later
The early times are tough but so are the alternatives- it gets easier, even into the second week
After one day at a time here four years later
The early times are tough but so are the alternatives- it gets easier, even into the second week
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,351
Welcome back LabGirl 
I think learning to reach out is vital....when I didn;t reach out nothing much changed - and it really needed to.
There's a lot of support and places to reach out or be reached out to - here too - why not check out some of the group threads - Class of August, Under one Year, 24 hour recovery connections?
D
I think learning to reach out is vital....when I didn;t reach out nothing much changed - and it really needed to.
There's a lot of support and places to reach out or be reached out to - here too - why not check out some of the group threads - Class of August, Under one Year, 24 hour recovery connections?
D
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