Alcoholic are normal
Chances
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Gosford, NSW
Posts: 110
Alcoholic are normal
After stopping my drinking new years and having a 5 day relapse in late march I've learnt many things, including that alcoholics are quite normal. Normal, in respect of the fact that it takes all types and everyone is different. On this site there are supportive caring people. In the AA meeting I've attended (weekly 3 out of 4 weeks) again the same. Many people I've meet in recovery seem just far too lovely and genuine for me to picture them with a drinking problem. Thankfully however they did and they are really making this world a better place.
It amazes me however of the unprovoked garbage that surfaces from ego driven control freaks and smart asses who turn up everywhere. Part of the normal crowd!
I've worn a lot of folks down at AA by my inability to have a sponsor and formally do the 12 steps of AA. I work, I have my kids every day off and I really don't have an ability to confide my past faults and selfish acts in a person a don't know. I tried it for a few weeks but frustrated my sponsor as I didn't phone daily and open up. He seemed to think my role was to confess every sin and feeling to him and show emotion. If anything I'm probably devoid of most emotions courtesy of alcohol so if I did get emotional it would be a lie.
One clown on the AA forum commented that if I can't conform AA has nothing for me and doesn't want me 'hanging around'. 4 months ago I would have sent him a character assessment but I've realised now he's more to be pitied than blamed. Other's immediately state the word sponsor isn't in the Big Book and the only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking. I'm doing a lot of reading on character improvement and being a better person. What's normal and natural to some was a massive discovery for me. EG I read 'How to win friends and influence people'. One chapter was devoted to calling people by their first name. Failing to do so devalues them, doing so displays respect and interest and claiming (as I did) that you are bad with names is just blame lazy and rude. Following this simple rule and not calling colleagues at work mate and buddy really effects how people relate. In that regard I realised those who used my name also won respect from me.
Overall I still use online sites, I will still go to a few AA meetings when it suits me and I have time (they are great for reminding me I not that different being an alcoholic and keeping me focused on sobriety by reminding me my thoughts about one day being cured are a falsehood).
Overall, I'm writing this just to say thanks to those who seek out opportunities to accept, guide, and be supportive to others fighting against alcoholism. You certainly create far more hope and do much more good than you realise. (Especially the moderators - you folks are saints).
Thanks
It amazes me however of the unprovoked garbage that surfaces from ego driven control freaks and smart asses who turn up everywhere. Part of the normal crowd!
I've worn a lot of folks down at AA by my inability to have a sponsor and formally do the 12 steps of AA. I work, I have my kids every day off and I really don't have an ability to confide my past faults and selfish acts in a person a don't know. I tried it for a few weeks but frustrated my sponsor as I didn't phone daily and open up. He seemed to think my role was to confess every sin and feeling to him and show emotion. If anything I'm probably devoid of most emotions courtesy of alcohol so if I did get emotional it would be a lie.
One clown on the AA forum commented that if I can't conform AA has nothing for me and doesn't want me 'hanging around'. 4 months ago I would have sent him a character assessment but I've realised now he's more to be pitied than blamed. Other's immediately state the word sponsor isn't in the Big Book and the only requirement for AA is a desire to stop drinking. I'm doing a lot of reading on character improvement and being a better person. What's normal and natural to some was a massive discovery for me. EG I read 'How to win friends and influence people'. One chapter was devoted to calling people by their first name. Failing to do so devalues them, doing so displays respect and interest and claiming (as I did) that you are bad with names is just blame lazy and rude. Following this simple rule and not calling colleagues at work mate and buddy really effects how people relate. In that regard I realised those who used my name also won respect from me.
Overall I still use online sites, I will still go to a few AA meetings when it suits me and I have time (they are great for reminding me I not that different being an alcoholic and keeping me focused on sobriety by reminding me my thoughts about one day being cured are a falsehood).
Overall, I'm writing this just to say thanks to those who seek out opportunities to accept, guide, and be supportive to others fighting against alcoholism. You certainly create far more hope and do much more good than you realise. (Especially the moderators - you folks are saints).
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 42
Congrats on being sober.
You mentioned that the only requirement for A.A. membership is a Desire to Stop Drinking. I always try to remember that when I go to a meeting. Also, I like the A.A. saying "Take What You Need And Leave The Rest'.
You mentioned that the only requirement for A.A. membership is a Desire to Stop Drinking. I always try to remember that when I go to a meeting. Also, I like the A.A. saying "Take What You Need And Leave The Rest'.
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