Stewy84

Hey guys,

Just checking in, not been a good couple of weeks really, nothing in particular, just feel generally very tired and stressed out with work. I miss my mum and dad, they live near but since I had depression, I feel a little more distant from them now, I don't feel as upbeat as I was before it all happened and this venlafaxine stuff seems to be very heavy on the side effects so I'm thinking about going back and having a chat with my gp.
I'm on performance management at work which I've decided is not going to affect me too much as the job is so hard anyway it's pretty pointless expending energy that can be used elsewhere.

My daughters mum feels I need to spend more time with my daughter. I see her 3 times a week, she likes to play out with friends more so now than before. I do feel she is growing up really fast and I'm scared I'm missing it. I am sad that I don't live with her and get to see her every day, I love her so very much, she is my little girl. I do my level best to make time with her meaningful. I'm struggling with work / life balance.

Still hooked on the junk food been eating it most nights, pizza, ice cream, chocolate, coke. It's at a ridiculous level right now and impacting on my finances and weight- I tuck in after each day, it reminds me of my old habits with alcohol.

My memory is awful at the moment and I wake each morning noticing I don't feel I've had a restful sleep. This has been obvious since I was off work for 4 months, I've lost spark, I feel a bit like parts of me died off over the past few months. I did not realise how quitting alcohol has revealed so much negativity within me, I'm so tired all the time, I'm just accepting each day at the minute, not trying too hard to over worry or panic.I honestly don't know where to go regards next steps, I miss my mum and dad and even at 31 now I need them more than ever

Thanks for reading

Soberwolf

why not organise some family time Stewy glad to see you posting brother

Dee74

Definitely do go back to your GP Stewy. There must be an answer to all of this - you just need to keep searching.

I think a glut of junk food probably isn't helping at all to be honest - what about getting some healthy munchies in - fruit, veges, nuts?

do you exercise?
D

soberclover

It reminds me of how much effort it takes to find balance in our sober life. Working towards it makes me exhausted sometimes too....which also leads to eating not so great. I find it helpful if I make small changes. A few small changes equals a bigger change. Stay strong!

NestWasEmpty

Stewy what SW said sounds good . Might lift your spirits setting some time aside for them .
Yes alcohol can really do a number on your body . Maybe GP can change something up ? One day at a time about all we can do , till our body heals

Soberwolf

Morning Stewy wishing you a nice day today

Meraviglioso

Hi there Stewy, I like SW's suggestion about setting aside some time for family.
I also agree with Dee that the junk food could be contributing to your sluggishness. If you like to snack and eating gives you comfort there are a lot of healthy or healthier snack options- the fruits and nuts Dee suggested. You could get some avocados and make guacamole- filling, fatty and tasty, but relatively healthy. Homemade bruschetta is also really tasty. Instead of chopping all the tomatoes, you can do the cheat version. Just toast some crunchy bread. Take a clove of garlic (you don't even need to peel) and rub it across the toasted bread. Put a slice or two of tomato on the bread, then sprinkle with salt and drizzle some olive oil. Quick, easy, and healthy.
Sending you a warm hug on this Saturday. Chin up!

MythOfSisyphus

I'm sorry you're not feeling so good, Stewy, but I'm glad you stopped in to SR. Maybe a visit to the doctor is in order. And maybe try to reach out to your family.

Hang in there Stewy!

PurpleKnight

Hang in there Stewy!!

Stewy84

Thanks for replying Dee, I agree, just need to treat it day by day and search for things to give me that lift.

I have been playing my usual football twice a week unfortunately I have lost a lot of enjoyment of it. I think it is down to the intensity at work, things have really stepped up.

I've said to myself I'm going to eat better now, my diet has been poor for a while so it's a good place to start

Stewy84

Thank you Soberclover

Stewy84

I do feel like I've been hit by a sucker punch, I genuinely had no idea how low I would get after quitting, maybe this is just me. I'll make a GP app and talk it through

Stewy84

Thanks Wolf

Stewy84

Thank you and thanks for the food ideas too, I'll give them a try

Soberwolf

How's your day been bud

Stewy84

I have fallen out with my girlfriend at the moment. I'm anxious all the time and keep getting frustrated because I'm doing all the housework, she does not do any. I'm not seeing my daughter today as she is away so I have arranged to see her Monday. My girlfriend started sulking when I told her this. I feel like she doesn't understand how much my daughter means to me, it's difficult because she is not related to her.

So were not talking now, I've spent today on my own watching football. I didn't realise how small my world is, only really got 1 friend and I'm scared to go out as I struggle talking to people.

It's been a long day to be honest wolf, thanks for checking in with me

ReadyAtLast

You're not alone Stewy. I don't know how much sober time you have but it does get easier. Sometimes it seems like it never will but it does. For me once I'd got through the physical stuff I had a whole lot of emotional stuff to deal with. Do take each day as it comes and try not to think too far ahead.

I agree seeing your GP again is a good idea. It's great you have a good relationship with your daughter. they do grow up so quickly don't they. I have a 6 year old and time flies by

Stewy84

I have nearly 315 days, still going eh!

My daughter is 8 now, I'm often asking myself if I put enough time in with her. I never imagined living apart from her, it's been 6 years now though and I guess I've we've just done things differently after the break up.

I do feel lonely today, my girlfriend and I don't speak at all during a fall out, I honestly don't feel like it's going to last much longer. My girlfriend has her own things to deal with and I'm often left to my own devices. It's not really a healthy relationship but then again, who really has a completely ideal relationship? It's just little things like making the odd meal and house jobs. I really need a lady who can mew me halfway with that stuff and someone who understands depression / low mood

ReadyAtLast

Congrats on 316 days

I had so many bad relationships over the years. I was drunk and lonely and thought I needed to be with someone,anyone! When I got sober i really changed so much. I ended my marriage when I was 2 years sober for many reasons but mainly because I wasn't prepared to put up with being in a relationship that wasn't right.I deserved better.

I'm with someone else now but going through a bit of a difficult patch. I'm determined not to put up with any situation or person that unsettles me and can think it through clearly. It's not easy at times but I have to have peace of mind.If I don't have that I will move on.

The first year of sobriety is such turmoil-if you are unhappy maybe some time alone to build your life might be what you need.

Marcher13

Stewy I remember you mentioning food before as being an issue and I think I might have replied on it. I'm a bit of a foodie who strongly believes in the value of fresh food andI'm sure that your diet won't be helping you in how you are feeling.

If you spent part of Sunday doing some preparation you could eat any of these delicious things for lunch or dinner with minimal preparation. Add in simple healthy breakfasts and you could be on the road to better well-being.