Soberwolf

I love your posts Mir

Marcher13

MIR I get this and I totally endorse it. I've been sober for over two years, my health is (now) as good as it was when I was 30 (I'm 60 now) and I'm doing old and new things with so much zest. I'm carrying three volunteer jobs, full-time work, looking after my home, business, DH and elderly mother. I have a lot of responsibility and obligation as well as a lot of fun and satisfaction. Three years ago I would never have pictured all this and I'm so grateful for it.

One drink would ruin it.

These days I can go to the reception/party/get together because I'm strong in my sobriety but for the first year I could not and I'm glad I didn't.

But every morning when I get up I remind myself that I can never drink again no matter what my AV tells me. And it still tells me, even over two years down the track. But ....

One drink would smash my world to smithereens and everything relies on me remembering it.

MIRecovery

Holy moly didn't think the post was that contraversial. Here is what prompted it.

Somebody I knew had to go to a wedding reception, drank, dropped of the grid. I heard he now has his 3rd DUI and is going to jail for 6 months which will result in the loss of a good job and great wife.

All because, "He had to go"

FreeOwl

I didn't see that in MI's post at all. And in fact, I agree heartily. SO often in life we feel obligated... convince ourselves we HAVE to do things - frequently things that don't honor our true needs.

At the end of the day we don't really HAVE to do an incredible number of the things we convince ourselves we are obligated to in this 'modern' world as 'adults'.

That's not a statement of slacking off or encouraging people to ditch responsibility - but rather a statement of reminder to me; to think about what is really most important in life.

A lot of the time, we really do act on a sort of auto-pilot that is dictated by others and by a misplaced, well-intended sense of external obligation. Much of the world runs frantically around doing exactly that, while finding exactly zero time to just sit and BE. To watch a sunrise. To do some light stretching and meditate. To be grateful.

What I read in MI's words is a reminder to remember the simple things, to honor the basics, to recognize when we are prioritizing things that may not be healthy for us and to be aware of the impact that sort of thing can have to our sobriety.

Soberwolf

Just want to hijack the thread for a moment to say this post has a ton of advice I even use D's advice as part of my sig

Awesome post D

Fly N Buy

As far as people, places and things that could threaten our sobriety I would think many of us would be in agreement that we have to make those (sometimes) difficult decisions about who we hang out with, where we go and the things that are the strands of life. Especially when we are newcomers.

Some of our friends here talk about developing sober muscle before journeying out into potentially hazardous situation - I believe DEE and Wolfie use this term. I took that metaphor to heart and was cautious about where I "had " to go somewhere or had to be with someone. I learned quickly that No is a complete sentence if I am willing to go to any lengths to stay sober.

I just want to clarify though that our program - which you carry the message very well MI - say's this about just staying sober.

Again, this should not be construed as disagreeing with the OP but maybe expanding on it for myself ( and maybe another ) as we gain some time and insight into our illness.

The book I read tells me this - "We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs."

Also - "Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober. "

"The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, "Don't see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain't it grand the wind stopped blowin'?"

So, No is a complete sentence and yes I agree the only thing ]we need to do perfectly is stay sober but for this alcoholic repairs to the foundation of my life are in order......

Thanks MI for making me think this through today - welcome and appreciated thread!!

tomsteve

Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life. The most important decision I ever made was my decision to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything I have, my whole life, depends on that one thing.

Can I afford ever to forget this, even for one minute?


i dont want to. many meetings and many threads here have taught me some things.
might make it through the first time, but that will only feed me some," it wont be a problem" and eventually i will be drunk.

ccam1973

MIR, I think you are right on with your post. It actually made me think of several situations I have found myself in recently.

Sobriety needs to be my number 1 focus. If I drink, then everything else in my life will have a very destructive domino effect. I've got 415 days under my belt now, and every day I still need to remember why I'm staying sober. I'll never be able to let my guard down, no matter how much time I have or what situation I find myself in.

Thanks for the post.

lunar

Great post, MIR,
Solid truth.
Thanks!

MIRecovery

Although my original post was in reference to a crash and burn of someone I knew I think the subject is deeper than the obvious "Going to a reception in early sobriety."

I have put myself in situations that while less obvious were definitely a step away from sobriety. The one that comes to mind is a job I eventually got fired from. The job was unhealthy on so many different levels. My direct manager was an unhappy unhealthy person who made work hell but I stuck with the job even though I knew I shouldn't.

In hind sight I was moving away from sobriety. This has made me more aware of things that are unhealthy for my sobriety and to take action sooner

Dharma33

With your original intention in mind, MIR, I agree wholeheartedly. I hope your friend finds his way back.

Every morning that I put my feet on the floor, staying sober is my number one priority. It is at the basis of my self-care, my family's welfare, and everything that now defines me.