patricia68

How do you deal with fear?

After a lot of journaling and soul searching I realized my biggest problem is fear, fear of the past repeating itself. A mild PTSD, not over a particular traumatic event, but over a few tragedies that happened in the last decade (illnesses, financial problems, etc)

I live in constant fear of those events happening again...and when I let that fear control me I relapse...

How do you deal with fear...?

doggonecarl

I think we all have to deal with our fears at some point. Some fear is normal. But if you are letting unfounded fears control your life and your sobriety, you might want to seek professional help.

LostLilly

Hi Patricia,
I deal with tons of fear and anxiety. Life is very uncertain and until I can accept that, it is always going to be a struggle. I cling to my faith and pray. Not sure what your spiritual beliefs are. Also distraction works at times as does talking to someone about feelings. To have feelings and bad things happen at times is normal. We have just been numbing ourselves so it will seem hard to try new coping ways. I am very new to sobriety myself and dealing with the same things.
Lilly

24hrsAday

for me patricia it is through prayer...
i am in AA and it is a slow process...
trusting God as i do NOT understand him/her/it..
for me though.. i ask for help in dealing with my Fear(s)

it does help..

Bailey3

I'm not active in AA but, I do try to practice the twelve steps.

ArtFriend

Fear? We don't need no stinking fear!

seriously... fear is one of my nemesis and I really hate it. When I am in a grip of fear, I think through the situation using "what if" statements. For example, What if I don't get the job? What will happen? I will have to keep looking for one. Think things through to their logical conclusion can help dispel the emotional component of fear. Write it down as you reason it out.

ccam1973

Patricia, fear is part of life. It doesn't go away when we drink.

For me, drinking compounded my fear once I sobered up. That's why felt I needed to start drinking again the following day, to ease my fear. Low in behold... when I sobered up again, the fear was worse than when I left it because I had not dealt with the root of my fear.

I realize this now after some sober time. Drinking doesn't stop bad things or good things from happening. But I now realize that when I'm sober, I have a much better chance at seeing the good things in life, rather than spending all of my time trying to avoid the bad while in a bottle.

Stay strong. Lean on us as much as you need to give yourself a fighting chance to see the good sobriety can bring in the long run.

vanaprastha

This quote helps me:

"The possibilities for the future are infinite. When we focus on the unfortunate possibilities, that's called fear. When we remember the other possibilities, which are usually more likely, that's called freedom from fear." -- Ajahn Brahm

There have been times when I was almost paralyzed by the fear of something bad happening. Actual events then turned out completely differently, and I felt ridiculous about losing so much energy worrying about something that never happened.

Fly N Buy

Hi Patricia!

Not all fear is bad as we know. Fear is an innate life preserving emotion in us and very natural. When fear runs our lives, of course that is when it becomes a problem.

I lived in fear without really even knowing it. I regretted the past and feared the future. I did not want to answer the phone or go the the mailbox. Fear became all consuming. I could actually feel it.........like a shiver.

The program I am a member of has taught me how to deal with this emotion when it runs wild. This release can start to happen very quickly as we learn the tools and understand the action we can take to ameliorate fear, has been my experience.

Unlike when I drank though, it's never an all or nothing proposition and as another friend already posted, it does take time to really understand the roots of fear and the solution.

You are not alone - we all experience fear. I now realize 99.9% of what I feared never, ever happens........It's all in my head.

keep coming back!

patricia68

I couldn't have said it better, that's exactly how I feel.

ScottFromWI

I think the first step is accepting/realizing that fear is normal. It happens to everyone and it's a natural response by your body. As addicts we tend to seek instant gratification via drugs/alchohol, we also have this tendency in life too. We want a way to make the fear/anxiety/stress just "disappear" -but life doesn't work that way.

Some of these things will certainly improve if you can quit drinking and get off the other meds you've been taking - that needs to be your first step above and beyond anything else. The alcohol itself could be causing a lot of the anxiety and fear. Once you've quit for a while, you may find that you still need to treat your anxiety further via therapy or meds, but you can't really know until you quit drinking and stay sober for a while.

Fly N Buy

There is a solution, I promise........

patricia68

Thank you Scott. I have no doubt that alcohol and meds are the cause of most of my anxiety and fears...but how do I deal with them until my brain heals...?

Dee74

I used this community a lot of the time, Patricia - nothing dissolves fear so much as talking it out with others

D