Bailey3

The whine meter reads zero!

trachemys

MIR, your strength has been amazing and I think has been a monument to your daughter. I hope for some ease for you.

ArtFriend

MIR - we are here to help and support each other, so forget the idea you are whining. While I cannot understand what it is like to lose a child, I do know what it is like to lose family...some at very young ages. I don't think one truly ever "gets over it". The hole remains and it is uniquely shaped in the form of the loved one lost. And words are cheap sometimes. All I can say is that I am sorry for your loss.

Dee74

You're absolutely right that to bottle this up would be dangerous for blokes like you and me MIR.

I'm glad you trust us enough to share your pain - and your inspiration - here.


D

chicory

MIR, would it be nice to be able to talk about your dear daughter? Do you have anyone that you can share memories of her with? You can always talk and share with us.

NestWasEmpty

MIR , I haven't been on SR very long , but I have read many of your posts With Uplifting words . To me you have a Very strong soul to keep going forward on your journey , it's so inspiring I hope you can find Peace within yourself .

MIRecovery

I hope to be able to do this some day but not today. I can mention brief memories to my wife especially things that happened a long time ago without falling apart but anything more recent I just can't go there.

I can't do recent pictures either. I have a picture taken about 9 months before she died on the refrigerator. I sort of glance at it from time to time but I can't bring myself to look at it.

I know things will get better with time because they are but I still have a very long way to go. I just wish these debilitating waves of sadness were not so intense

trachemys

When the waves come, MIR, come talk to us. We can't stop them but, we can listen.

alphaomega

You are NOT whining. But I'll tell you what you are doing.

You are inspiring me to find a way to stay sober another day. You are learning how to live life with a giant hole in your heart. And doing it sober and authentically. You are showing us what it means to love beyond comprehension. You are teaching us about protecting your sobriety at all costs. You are giving a part of yourself, as you find it.

What you are is an inspiration and a god damned warrior.

That's who and what you are.

Bailey3

You give a lot to this community. There's lots of knowledge and wisdom in your posts. So if you feel the need to lean on us once in awhile that's ok.

melki

Thank you for sharing... Please continue to do so. I wish you peace and relief from the intense sadness.

brynn

(((mir)))

chicory

(((MIR))) It must be very raw still. You are right though... it will get better, and that will happen when it should, when its time. We are here for you.

melki

I have recently been humbled by working with a lovely girl who looked completely OK. I was not aware of her family's tragic circumstances and the girl's condition and painful procedures she has to endure routinely until her mother shared it with me. We truly don't know other people's pain...

Upwardspiral

I can't imagine your grief, MIR.
Thank you for sharing your strength with others by showing what can be endured during recovery.

Delfin

I'm so sorry for your loss, MIR. Thank you for being here and supporting us even as you face the tremendous sadness and pain of losing a child.

Delfin

FreeOwl

MIR.... What sort of counseling, therapy, ritual have you experienced around dealing with and processing your grief?

I know that going into it is probably a terrible prospect to you, but we must experience and be with grief in order to find peace with it.

Soberwolf

I can heavily relate to this post & I'm coming up on my mums 6th anniversary it was this time 6 years ago I cared for her for 3 months

It does get better Mir although I can't imagine the pain I understand the loss my mum was my best friend she could look at me and knew exactly what I was thinking

x a trillion

MIRecovery

I have gone through a fair amount of professional grief counseling. I slowly but surely am processing my emotions but there seems to be no easy path

tomsteve

mi, im feeling for you. grief is a bugger. theresno time limit.however, when ive gone through it, one thing i learned: avoiding things that may be painful prolonged some of the healing. stuffing my emotions and not letting them out didnt help. i didnt even enter my moms bedroom for about 9 months. i took down all pictures of her and anything that reminded me of her in the house. 11years of her living with me and being her caregiver made a bond i didnt know was there until after she died.
welp, some of that stuffing it didnt help. finally broke down one day and went into her bedroom. boy did the emotions flow as i was in there, as they are starting to flow now.
but it helped me heal. pride, ego, and fear kept me from doing it sooner. i actually would get some serenity and peace back every time i allowed the feelings/emotions to happen.
every time i dont allow myself to feel, i deny myself being human.
a very valuable lesson i learned through it all and forget at times:
stuffing feelings isnt good. every time i allow them to happen i am allowing myself to heal and to be human.

prayers out for ya!